Dear diary,
today I learned that my favorite way to recreate Turtleneck Crowley for his 1960s look is to take an X-Acto knife to a round 1x1 plate with an open stud as well as a Harry Potter minifigure head! Yes, I am a monster, but don't regret anything, because I love the result too much. Sorry, not sorry.
Love, your cut-throat bitch (literally)
Obviously the fifth Beatle Crowley 1960s minifigure is still a work in progress, but I really like the finished hairpiece. The head is just one of those standard Harry Potter ones that I customized as a joke for temporary use here, but I actually kind of like it in this context? Weird. 🤔
Wahoo! I am so happy you met the crowdfunding goal of £20.000! That is the best news today, seriously. It's just incredible to see how people in this fandom have come together to help a beloved member of the community. 🥂
It's taken me a couple of days and a whole lot of crying to fully process this.
In less than a month (and a bloody difficult month, at that), this fandom has come together in unprecedented numbers to do something truly incredible, and I am so overwhelmed and awed at the kindness, compassion and generosity of you all.
I can't begin to tell you what the last three years have been like for me. To get told the worst news, to get weaker and sicker to the point where your kids no longer ask if you want to play with them because they know you can't, where you lose weight and hair until you no longer recognise yourself in the mirror, to have so many surgeries that your abdomen looks like a dot-to-dot of vivid, angry scars, to have friends drift away from you because the reality of your life is too much for them to face - and then once you've recovered, beaten the damn thing, to find something new, something quieter but more insidious, is growing in your chest, wrapping itself in delicate tendrils around your heart and lungs...
It's no secret that I almost ended my life not too long ago. I'd lost my job, I thought I was going to lose our home - our little slice of peace I fought so hard to achieve - and I just felt like I'd let everybody down. I had a bad reaction to new anxiety meds and in that addled state I was sure my children, my friends, the world, would be better off without me. And I was tired. So, so tired. I've been fighting and battling and doing it all on my own for so long and I just couldn't do it anymore.
But then this fandom saved me.
Instead of doing it alone, I did something I've never, ever done before, at the encouragement of multiple members of this community who insisted they wanted to help - I reached out. And it felt all kinds of awkward and uncomfortable and shameful to do so, and as the donations and messages of support flooded in, I was reduced to a crumbling, blubbing mess. Because I really thought it wouldn't matter to anyone if I left - and here came message after message rolling in that proved otherwise, and... fuck, it wrecked me.
There's a reason I spend so much time devoted to anons in distress on this blog, and it's because you have no idea the light that you are to others. Did I know people liked my writing? Sure. Did I know people felt like this about me, that they look forward to my posts, that my warmth brings them comfort, that my writing got them through lonely, dark nights? Hell no!
And it's flabbergasting, honestly.
The amount of love and kindness everybody has shown, whether through donations, reblogging and signal boosting, sharing on other social media platforms I don't have a presence on, sending me messages of support or finally giving in and reading my fanfics and leaving me delightful comments... it's changed my life, changed my world.
Not only are my children and I now going to be able to keep a roof over our heads, meaning I no longer feel like the world's worst mother for not being able to provide the most basic of essentials for my children, but I'm also changing the way I see myself, the world, and the way I fit into it. It's been a very, very long time since I felt like I mattered, and now...well. It's a lot.
So thank you, all of you, every single person who helped make this possible. I will never, ever have the words or the means to show you what you have done for me and my family.
Some very specific thanks to the following people:
@dastardly-ethereal-love for their pledge to match donations at the end to help us cross over that finish line - it was incredibly generous and we couldn't have done it without you!
@ineffably-queer-book-lover for their delightful Mini!Pics to help promote the campaign and cheer me on, they have made me smile so very much!
@ineffableigh who promised art and some gorgeous cat pics to everybody who donated over a certain amount, if anyone has not claimed their art yet, please drop by - I can attest to how glorious their work is by the wonderful scenes they have done for my Lighthouse AU!
@esthermitchell-author for offering to contribute the profits from the sale of her incredible books to this cause, a hugely generous offer!!
@dragonwars2601 for offering drawings for donations and generally being a wonderful person when I was having a bit of a meltdown.
@bowtiepastabitch for being the person I could scream at.
@avoicebehindthestars for being unbearably, wonderfully kind and steering me through very difficult conversations with empathy and more love than I deserve.
@thavron @general-fox-hux @teslagirl6 @fantomknitter-blog @masnadies @lgcalgary @maaikeatthefullmoon @apocalypticlardon @crafter273 @neverlet @hellsgardener01 @chocolatecoffeeshot @parker-quil-1969 @abiiii-ineffable @knifeforkspooncup @theunicorncomic-blog @beerok23 @funnyoldworld-isnt-it @highlandwhackamole for the never ending cheering and support and DMs, you are all wonderful, glorious, marvellous humans!
And last but certainly, definitely not least. My dearest @pannotbread - I found you just as everything was falling apart, an ineffable chain of events that I will forever be grateful for. You have been my port in the storm, my lighthouse on the horizon, my north star guiding me home. I may be able to afford a home of my own now, but I found another kind of home in you.
Now I'm done being sappy, here is the link if anyone still wants to donate, there is a day left to go:
I love you all. So very, very much.
To our side... our world... always and ineffably.
Now I am crying, too. So much love for everyone who made this possible and helped in whatever way they could!
To our world indeed! ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜
To everyone who's celebrating (or crying into their tartan blanket) today! 😘 One day these two idiots will celebrate together again, too! 🎂🍷
In the meantime I am just really grateful to be part of this wonderful fandom! Thank you for all the beautiful art, fanfction and everything else people have contributed to make this fandom such a happy place. ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜
Spent a few happy hours on the Lego Whickber Street project today. The chinese restaurant is done. All the lights are working as well. I used diy-parts from Briksmax - not cheap and a bit fiddly, but it was worth putting them in. Also: Thank you to the person who made a map of the street (I can't remember where I saw it), I tried to figure out what the shop next to the bookshop was, but the sign was never in focus in the show (or my focus was off, that is also a possibility).
Oh, a fellow Good Omens LEGO fan! This looks absolutely stunning! @neversam23, I adore your tiny version of Whickber Street. The bookshop looks awesome, especially with the warm glow of the lighting! So many beautiful details! Also, your Aziraphale and Crowley minifigs look gorgeous! Just out of curiosity... did you have the parts custom printed or did you use decals? Either way, the design is really cute!
