Had a bit of fun today...

Could not possibly love this more!!

Macbetheads assemble! Cinema release officially announced!

Everytime ao3 is down I'm reminded of two things:

One is that humans have and always will love telling stories, and they will continue to do so even if there is no benefit to telling these stories, but simply because we love creating things

The other is that a concerning amount of us use fanfiction as an extreme form of escapism that we can't function without and we should probably look into that

I love the idea that God/Metatron separated Angels who were falling in love with each other by making one from each couple fall because that would mean Satan is hilarious.

Satan: Hey, hey, God.

God: Satan, I literally just kicked you out, what do you want…?

Satan: Who are you sending to Eden?

God: Aziraphale, why?

Satan: Nothing.

>>

God: Satan! What the fuck! Why is Crowley there!

Satan: He’s my favourite so of course I gave him this mission!

God: And it had nothing to do with Aziraphale and Crowley being separated by me and you being a bastard?

Satan: Nahhhh!

>>

God: They keep on screwing up my plans! Stop sending Crowley wherever Aziraphale is!

Satan: But it is so funny.

God: Satan!!!

>>

God: You know they’ve made an arrangement.

Satan: Yep.

God: Do you realise how powerful they are together?

Satan: Yep.

God: You are enjoying this way too much.

Satan: Yep.

Satan: Hey, God.

God: WHAT!

Satan: So Aziraphale is your new bestie aka Supreme Archangel?

God: … Why are you asking?

Satan: He is, isn’t he?

God: Yes.

Satan: Funny that.

God: Why is that funny, Satan?

Satan: It’s just funny because I also have a new bestie.

God: Don’t you fucking dare…

Satan: You must admit it has a nice ring to it.

God: Satan…!

Satan: Prince of Hell Crowley.

God: Satan!!! Are you taking the piss!!!

Satan: He looks so good in black leather, darling.

God: Fuck off!

Satan: You think Aziraphale will last half a minute with him in the room or should we give him a minute?

God: You are not funny!!!

Satan: I am hilarious!

HI LET’S SHARE NICOLE’S WORDS ON THE SUBJECT! 

It has been literal years but every time I see Martin’s tweets posted somewhere and his word is shared as truth while her post is not shared it sort of reiterates the fact that we trust men to speak about feminism more than we believe women who experience it. 

Interesting, innit? https://medium.com/@nickyknacks/working-while-female-59a5de3ad266

Reading her account of how their boss treated her blows me away. Men are so emboldened that they will literally admit to illegal discrimination casually and face no consequences.

In all the years of seeing this post I’ve never seen a link to her side. Didn’t even know she’d written one.

Adding screenshots of her post. His whole post is there without needing a link. Hers should be, too.

Also, she posted this is 2017! It’s fucking 2020 and I’ve seen his side of this for years, but it took 3 years for her side to make its way to my dash…

I’ve reblogged his story at least twice; it’s time for Nicole’s.

Reblogged him, bout time I got to reblog her.

As a survivor of a horrendously abusive and misogynistic graduate school experience, hear hear!!

Gender? What gender?

All this YES!!!

— from Fic: Why Fanfiction is Taking Over the World by Anne Jamison  (via weeesi)

Yessssss!!💖

Today Aziraphale was touched to learn that despite consistently miracling his own beverages, Crowley has never once miracled Aziraphale’s tea. He always makes it from scratch, just the way his angel likes it.

Today Crowley doesn't even notice he's driving slow in the Bentley until someone behind him honks.

Today Crowley accompanied Aziraphale to another rare book auction. While this activity would normally be relatively boring to him, he was initially confused and then wholly delighted when Aziraphale miracled himself a disguise (including a full beard and dramatic side burns) and confessed he had previously been banned from this particular auction house as a result of his unruly behaviour.

Business partners 😄

Just finished the panel with Rich Keeble at Ineffable Con.

He told the most hilarious story about him, David, Michael and Jon Hamm all sitting around playing Wordle whilst waiting for their scenes.

David admitted he didn't get it that day, defeated, and went off to set, popping in his contacts on the way. The rest of them continued to sit there on their phones, brows furrowed in concentration as they try to solve it.

Jon Hamm gets it in four, then goes off to set, leaving Rich with Michael who is still frowning at his phone.

Then Michael suddenly jumps up and shouts victoriously, something along the lines of "YES!! Got it in THREE!! I've got to go and tell David... I'm sure he won't mind me interrupting his scene."

So basically we've learned that the version of themselves we saw in Staged is EXACTLY who they are 🤣

I loved this story! I was the one who asked in the chat if Rich had gotten the wordle that day. 😅😂💕

Here's the transcript from zoom (with minor editing to correct):

"So this was early 2022. So the Wordle was quite a big thing at the time. I don't know whether people still do the wordle. But I remember I was sat on a chair in the green room. So I was sat here and then I think you had David here, Jon Hamm there, and Michael Sheen there. Just all on their phones, doing the Wordle.

I think David was called on to set and he'd admitted early on that he hadn't got it that day. He hadn't got the wordle. And so he got called on. Of course David's lovely sitting there with his glasses on, and they're like, "Oh, David, can we have you on set?" "Oh, yeah, do I need to put the lenses in? Okay, yeah, yeah, I'll put them in, anyway. Yeah, just in case." So he's just at a table putting in his lenses.

Then he goes off on to set, and then it's Jon and Michael just sat there, and of course I'm just sat there, you know, not really wanting to interrupt anybody. And then I think Jon Hamm revealed that he got the wordle in 4, and then I think he was called to set.

And then it was just me sat there with Michael Sheen on his phone. And then he just you know, there's a few minutes of us just sitting there in silence. And then he just goes "Yes!" [puts fist in the air] "I've got it in 3." And he kind of got up, and he said, "oh, I've gotta tell David. Oh, I might. Oh, I might go and just interrupt the shot. No, no, no, I won't, I won't!"

And then, David. I think David came back outside, and Michael just said, "Oh, I've just got it in 3," and David just kind of went like that up to his face 🖕🏼 [holding up his middle finger].

And I just thought it's one of the most surreal sort of things. There's me on my own sitting with these superstars, and you know that's the most excited I've ever seen Michael Sheen- getting the wordle in 3. So that was something.

"Did I get the wordle?" someone said [in the chat]. I don't know whether I got it that day or not.]

This is a much more accurate version!!!! Transcript!!!

It was today that I realised why Michael Sheen and David Tennant don't go to the fan-run conventions.

We are fucking feral, that's why.

Best panel of the whole con 👏

6,666,666/10 - no notes

I love these people

Listen, listen, listen…

Crowley is no basic ass demon. He was no basic ass angel either.

We keep on seeing how powerful he is. So much more than everyone else. That moment he commands the demons. Uh ah. And now I discovered there is a deleted scene where Crowley (in Aziraphale’s body) gives Eric one stare and he immediately backs away?

Fuck offfff. Crowley just has to look at demons and have them back off?!

If there isn’t anything in S3 about his power then I’m going to be shocked.

look, fandom as a whole certainly has its own built-in biases and problems that need to be addressed 

but like

every so often i think about all of the deep, nurturing lifelong friendships that only ever happened because one day two internet strangers were like ‘oh hey, we agree on which fictional characters should kiss!’

people who are right now helping each other survive via connections they initially forged by liking the same sailor moon girl or something

the internet is a goddamn garbage pit but it is also a goddamn miracle

Yessssss

*releases pack of dads into home depot* go……be free

invasive species encroach on lesbian territory

This is a common misconception because they’re such similar environments, but you should be aware that dads are native to Home Depot, while lesbians are actually native to Lowe’s. At this point, however, both dads and lesbians have made themselves at home in both Home Depot and Lowe’s to the point that trying to separate them back into their original ranges would probably do more harm than good to the delicate ecosystem of large chain hardware stores.

A properly raised and socialized Dad will be perfectly comfortable cohabiting with Lesbians. Its not really “encroaching on another’s territory”. You wouldn’t say that about foxes in a forest that also homes bobcats, would you? No. It’s just two different species that have both evolved to live in similar/the same environment. As long as they recognize each other as equals, Dads and Lesbians are more than capable of cohabitation.

Now, if you were to release a pack of Lumberjacks into a Lowes or Home Depot, that’s where chaos will reign. Being adapted to a far harsher and more demanding environment, the Lumberjacks would simply push Dads and Lesbians both out and also consume far more than a sustainable amount of resources. It would be like releasing bears at a country club.

As a former timber-harvester… I feel this is potentially accurate in theory. But highly improbable in actuality.

Lumberjacks, like most megafauna species generally require more space than the average hardware store, even a big box store could provide. The misconception is that Lumberjacks are a social species because of how they often work and live together.

This is a matter of necessity, not preference, and a survival technique for thriving under the LogBoss.

A “pack” of Lumberjacks, if not under the environmental pressure of a LogBoss will naturally disperse until they each have a wide territory.

Lumberjacks rarely fight for territory.

One on one, a Lumberjack could drive out a Dad or Lesbian, however the latter tend to travel in social packs.

Lumberjacks will passively retreat on the presence of large numbers of people. Kind of like Sasquatch.

Getting a “pack” of Lumberjacks assembled would be hard enough unless they were forced into a Hardware Store by a LogBoss. In that case, they would already be in a heightened and potentially agitated state far above their natural behavior. This artificial scenario can be likened to a circus animal running amok. If it had been in the wild, the incident would not have occurred.

Free-roaming Lumberjacks are the cryptids of the Hardware ecosystem. They are surprisingly quiet and unobtrusive.

Please stop labeling Lumberjacks as dangerous roving social predators. They are intermediate level omnivores and remarkably peaceful unless threatened.

As a hardware store worker I can say that this is all 100% accurate.

now how in the FUCK am i supposed to leave tumblr when a god tier post like THIS is just is just waiting for me daily?!?!?!

question where does the “art student” or “DIYer” “crafter” or “soap maker” or “miniaturist“ etc. who has ventured into the store for supplies fall into the ecosystem/what is their impact of said ecosystem?

Most of the above are native to craft and hobby stores (art students, historically, are native to museums, but having been introduced to hobby stores, have found a niche for themselves and thrived), but all can be seen in hardware stores on occasion due to territorial overlap. They are generally low-impact, as they tend to stick to specific small areas and primarily utilize different resources. While a large group of any of them can be disruptive (art students, in particular, are known to travel in packs), in general, they are more likely to have territorial disputes with one another than with the local fauna. 

A point of clarity -“crafter” is a bit misleading; while it conjures a specific image, much like ‘fish’ or ‘reptile’ it actually covers a broad array of wildly disparate species, and in general, more descriptive nomenclature is preferred. Fiber artists in particular are a genus to watch out for, particularly in groups. Beware a roving pack of domesticated quilters. They fear nothing, will go anywhere, and due to their social nature, will often seek interaction from other species that thrive best in solitude. They are quite friendly, and will happily adopt members of other species; the concern is that their adoptees do not always wish to be adopted. 

#in search of taxonomic precision and peaceful coexistence (via welkinalauda)

I do wonder how lesbian/bisexual lumberjack-mimickry fits into this

I can say as a former craft store worker that if you wish to see true fear, look into the eyes of a Dad who must venture into a craft store. Despite the overlap of familiar beings known to him from his native hardware store habitat, Dads are instinctively aware that craft stores are not for them; they contain unfamiliar perils and even the seemingly familiar may have strange variances and unnerving secrets. (”Why is this airbrush so small? What do you mean nails, why would you… WUT!!”)

Only experienced silverbacks or the boldest young Dads dare venture into a craft store for long without his mate or offspring to keep roving Craft Ladies at bay and guide him in this strange ecosystem. If a Dad enters with his mate and is separated from her, he will often scuttle for the seeming familiarity of Woodcrafts, Models, or Paints (the latter not to be confused with Fine Arts, unquestioned territory of art students), but he eyes Scrapbooking and Jewelry with trepidation and will usually venture into those exotic areas only in the company of females of his pack.

Lumberjacks are rarely spotted entering craft stores of their own volition, for while they do not fear it as Dads do, they know it is an environment unsuited for megafauna such as themselves.

Hardware store Lesbians generally adapt more easily to craft stores, although they may enlist another Lesbian of a subspecies more adapted to that environment to guide them until they find their niche. Lesbians have even been known to seek the aid of a Craft Lady, a native fauna that share similarities with Lesbians but are usually smaller and nimbler to suit their chosen habitat. Dads who witness this are often awed by the Lesbians’ temerity, for although larger, Dads are generally wary of the cunning and dexterous Craft Ladies and may mistake their enthusiastic pack greetings as predatory swarming.

Craft Ladies, secure in their ecological niche, have no fear of interlopers and take the presence of non-native beings in stride, although they may become territorial about scarcer resources.

The only truly invasive species that threaten craft stores are Brides-to-Be, who are mere annoyances individually, but like locusts may descend in hordes and lay waste, leaving swathes of destruction in their wake. Fortunately for the Craft Ladies, Brides-to-Be are seasonal and usually only a threat in the spring and early summer.

It Got Better

Is anybody going to address the newly invasive species of BuJo enthusiasts into the craft store/art supply store environment? Why aren’t we talking about the dangerous proliferation of Leuchtturm 1917s and the growing threat of Dotted Moleskins? I had to liberate a Dad from a tangle of washi tape in the art supply store the other day and it wasn’t pretty.

The natural habitat of journalers was stationary stores, which have been replaced by office supplies stores, not the same. Journalers invade the craft stores and art supplies stores to get the markers and washi tape and Sakura pens they require for survival.

@great-art-and-a-purple-tongue @onbearfeet THE LORE HAS BEEN UPDATED.

VERY IMPORTANT AND ENTIRELY ACCURATE now excuse me I gotta hit Lowes and Michaels.

Another thing to note is all of those habitats must adapt to the seasonal migration of goths. As soon as the faintest hint of spooky can be detected at those stores, goths will arrive in packs. A small pack of goths determined to forage can strip the shelves of a seasonal section bare in 30 minutes.