@individualcosmos / individualcosmos.tumblr.com
I know everyone says it’s best to just stick to “said” as a dialogue tag bc it disappears and that’s true and I mostly do but I want to take a moment for my all-time favorite dialogue tag, “lied.” Absolutely nothing hits like “‘I’m here to help,’ he lied.” NOTHING.
ABSOLUTELY one of my favourites.
theres a popular brand in canada called no name brand and it manufactures everything you can imagine in a grocery store and it kind of makes me feel like im in a world no one bothered to do much world building for
things that sure are.
things that are.
This is peak design
Can't believe no one posted chair (for sitting)
worrying is like worshipping the problem
and brother i’m on my knees
thanks for the warmup folks
6 hour workday maximum i’m not kidding, if it can’t be done in that timeframe it doesn’t need doing.
this doesn't apply to jobs like childcare
If i worked in childcare and my 6 hours were up i would start putting babies in ziploc bags and shipping them to Turkmenistan listed as endangered fruits and vegetables
Every time I see this post it reminds me people have no idea what shift work is. You can have a business, daycare, hospital, anything, open 24/7 and only have individual people working 6 hours a day.
ur government assigned gender for the day is the first thing u get when u click this link to a randomised wikipedia article. NO REROLLS . i am the trollsteineggje mountain in norway
EVERYONE FUCK OFF I JUST WON GENDER
There is a parallel universe where Tumblr is actually a great functioning site
its exactly as shitty but every other social media site is worse by comparison
From this:
Ive seen people be like in modern fantasy like "oh the pritagonists can just look up spells on their phone how do you solve that"
Imma be honest most people who go on recipe websites and book every recipe they see don't even use them lmao why would with be different
Given how terrible most recipe websites are i can only imagine how bad spell websites would be
Having to navigate someone's entire life story of how they became a witch in order to get to the part where they actually talk about the gods-damned banishing ritual
"it all began after I watched the September 11th attacks... [10,000 words later] here's my spell for finding lost house keys without drawing any sigils."
we passed a sign in boring that said their sister city is dull, scotland
oh there's a third! bland, new south wales!
I'm sorry but I just have to appreciate the wordplay on that last sign. It's brilliant.
my beautiful twisted dark academia wraps
Note to vacationing non-Americans: while it’s true that America doesn’t always have the best food culture, the food in our restaurants is really not representative of what most of us eat at home. The portions at Cheesecake Factory or IHOP are meant to be indulgent, not just “what Americans are used to.”
If you eat at a regular American household, during a regular meal where they’re not going out of their way to impress guests, you probably will not be served twelve pounds of chocolate-covered cream cheese. Please bear this in mind before writing yet another “omg I can’t believe American food” post.
Also, most American restaurant portions are 100% intended as two meals’ worth of food. Some of my older Irish relatives still struggle with the idea that it’s not just not rude to eat half your meal and take the rest home, it’s expected. (Apparently this is somewhat of an American custom.)
Until you’re hitting the “fancy restaurant” tier (the kind of place you go for a celebration or an anniversary date), a dinner out should generally also be lunch for the next day. Leftovers are very much the norm.
From the little time I’ve spent in Canada, this seems to be the case up there as well.
the portions in family restaurants (as opposed to haute cuisine types) are designed so that no one goes away hungry.
volume IS very much a part of the american hospitality tradition, and Nobody Leaves Hungry is important. but you have to recognize that it’s not how we cook for ourselves, it’s how we welcome guests and strengthen community ties.
so in order to give you a celebratory experience and make you feel welcomed, family restaurants make the portions big enough that even if you’re a teenage boy celebrating a hard win on the basketball court, you’re still going to be comfortably full when you leave.
of course, that means that for your average person with a sit-down job, who ate a decent lunch that day, it’s twice as much as they want or more. that’s ok. as mentioned above, taking home leftovers is absolutely encouraged. that, too, is part of american hospitality tradition; it’s meant to invoke fond memories of grandma loading you down with covered dishes so you can have hearty celebration food all week. pot luck church basement get-togethers where the whole town makes sure everybody has enough. that sort of thing. it’s about sharing. it’s about celebrating Plenty.
it’s not about pigging out until you get huge. treating it that way is pretty disrespectful of our culture. and you know, contrary to what the world thinks, we do have one.
Reblogging because I honestly never thought about it but yeah, this lines up.
This is also why the idea of “pay a lot for fancy food on tiny plates” pisses so many Americans off. Unless you are rich enough not to care about throwing your money away, it’s not just a ridiculous ripoff in terms of not filling you up, it’s stingy. Restaurants are places of hospitality. If I pay that much for a plate it had better be damn good and it had better be generous. Otherwise they are just trying to fleece me out of my money AND saying they don’t value me as a customer.
If I go to IHOP or Olive Garden or whatnot, I absolutely don’t need to eat again until evening if I had leftovers, and until the next day if I did eat everything (you can’t really take pancakes home as leftovers).
But EVEN IF I DID EAT EVERYTHING and then ate a full meal on top of that, later, it’s really not anyone’s place to criticize what other people eat. It just isn’t. Let it go. It’s old.
Making fun of American food culture and food habits isn’t original or surprising or witty or funny or getting one over on us or crafting a clever retort or whatever. It’s lazy and petty and childish.
Yeah, we eat a lot of hamburgers. They’re fucking delicious. Cope.
Also re: Nobody Goes Away Hungry, here is AN INCOMPLETE LIST of things my family was gifted by neighbors when I was a child:
—Nina won a writing contest and xir name was in the newspaper, have a cake
—Nina won a writing contest and xir name was in the newspaper, have some cookies
—Nina won a writing contest and xir name was in the newspaper, have a box of licorice (as you can tell this was Very Big News in my neighborhood)
—it’s Christmas, have cookies
—my garden did really well this year, have zucchini and tomatoes and corn also do you like rhubarb
—we saw an ambulance at your house this morning, have a lasagna
—we heard your mother died, have some soup and a bag of groceries
—Nina looked hungry and nobody is mentioning you’re on food stamps because we’re polite, also we just so happened to cook way too much for dinner, have some chicken
—it’s a block party, everyone take home whatever you want…no, more than that….MORE than that! You think we want to eat all this potato salad by ourselves?!
—we heard your husband had heart surgery, here’s a prepped meal so you can eat properly when you get home from the hospital
—it’s Halloween in a small town, have some apples/popcorn balls/pumpkin bread
—I’m a coupon queen and at the end of this shopping trip the store owed me $10 PLEASE tell me you want groceries I have 42 cans of baked beans
—because why not
I am genuinely bothered by how much this tradition seems to be going by the wayside. This was a whole thing when I was a kid, and there’s literally etiquette for how you handle it:
1) hot meals for tragedy and postpartum assistance, sweets for celebration and introduction.
2) presentation is important—don’t present a burnt or dirty dish. Dishes should have a lid or foil on top. Cling wrap isn’t rude, but it should be avoided because it’s easier to accidentally tear and if it’s not wrapped just right it’ll come undone, which is particularly problematic if you’re leaving food at a doorstep where ants may be present. (1990s addendum: when I was a kid you could buy colored or printed cling wrap around Christmas, and it was considered classy to use this on sweets you were gifting your neighbors as long as it was done in person and wasn’t a doorstep dropoff. This, sadly, seems to have gone away, and I miss it a lot.)
3) when receiving food, always say thank you. Never reject a dish; if it’s food you don’t like, someone in your extended family will take it. If four other people in the neighborhood have already gifted you food and you have no idea what to do with it all, freeze some or gift it to people in your out-of-the-neighborhood circle. The only polite rejections are dietary restrictions, and “three other people have already given me zucchini I’m so sorry.” If all else fails, take it to the break room at work. Someone who forgot their lunch will thank you.
4) Never return a dirty dish.
5) Never return an EMPTY dish. It’s always good to have two or three quick, low-effort recipes in your back pocket for refilling a dish. There is no rule for what you should use as a thank-you recipe, but most people use sweets because there are a lot of quick and simple options and you can refill the dish without cooking in it. (My go-tos are fudge no-bake cookies and honey milk balls. A lot of people in my neighborhood did cookie bars.)
5a) …unless you’re a new parent or the dish was presented to you as a consolation for a funeral. In these cases, a thank-you card will suffice.
6) a dish should always be returned within seven days.
7) using disposable dishes is acceptable, but consider the occasion. A new parent will be grateful for one less dish to wash. Someone who just lost a parent should not be presented with a paper plate.
8) if using disposable dishes, make sure you indicate you don’t expect them back. Some people (I am one of them) will absolutely look at disposable-but-reusable dishes, wash them out, and return them if you do not do this. Never give a disposable dish with the expectation it will return home.
9) if giving a pass-me-on plate/Amish friendship plate, be sure the recipient knows the rules of a pass-me-on plate. You can purchase plates with the rules printed directly on them, but if you’re using a regular plate, gift it with a card that explains the game.
THIS WAS A WHOLE THING. You’ll notice #9 up there—pass-me-on plates are usually somewhere in size between a dinner plate and a serving plate, often very pretty, and the way they work is you fill them up with something good to eat and give them to a friend. The friend will then wash the plate, fill it with something good, and pass it on to someone else—hence the name pass-me-on plate. (The phrase “Amish friendship plate” is….older. With all the slightly wincey connotations of “older” when discussing out-groups.)
This was a way families bonded with other families and cared for our communities, and I really want to see it come back.
This makes no sense
it literally could not be more straightforward
It literally doesnt make sence, both have the same value, they're both $30
No im not expecting anything its just a badly frammed metaphor
But it never says that, it just asks you wich one is greater and the text ends there, wich leads you to thinking that one indeed has greater value then the other, and that the one with the greater value is the answear
Im not about to argue over a focken tit size metaphor
world heritage post
i was at a little park fest thing today and someone was there with their cats who were trained to hang out in a stroller?? like they were SO chill it was amazing. the cats were obviously enjoying themselves and were very well trained to stay right in or under their catmobile.
until, that is, i rolled up in my wheelchair and one of them turned and saw my vaguely stroller-like contraption and *immediately* jumped out of his cat-approved-stroller to climb around on my chair like OH WOW WHEN DID WE GET ANOTHER WHEELEY THING YAY! :D
i was like sir you are not supposed to be here and he just looked up at me like oh yes i am ! i must stay in wheeled contraption !!! and he was wearing a lil bowtie so i could not argue with him
[id: the Is This a Bird meme edited so that a stock photo of a gray tabby cat with a bowtie is the one gesturing at the It's Free Real Estate meme that has a disability symbol of a person in a wheelchair edited on to it. end id]
#cat: wow a new stroller just for me! and there’s even a warm lap to sit on!! #clearly a superior mode of transportation #omg once i saw a woman in joann fabrics and she had a stroller with her #and inside was a single white duck that she kept showing different fabrics to #like some kind of tiny textile king (via @arwcn )
the U-turn these tags took just punched me in the face i NEED a fabric duck in my life to help me make shopping decisions ALL HAIL THE TINY TEXTILE KING
RB if you think CD drives in computers are not obsolete, but in fact still necessary, despite being artificially phased out
This guy knows what he’s talking about. He’s one of the lead writers for Leverage and if you ever watch the series on DVD, do yourself a favor and listen to him talk about how the scripts got written. Some of the advice he has is stuff I use all the time: 1. Don’t introduce an important plot person or thing after the first half of the story. 2. Always tie up loose ends. 3. Introduce important things in the middle of unimportant things. 4. If you have to infodump, find an emotion to tie it to and it will seem less like infodump and more like a motive rant. Seriously this guy knows how to write.
Once you get to a certain level of advanced maths, you basically become a wizard.
this is what a page of my wizards spellbook looks like
Sounds like something a wizard mocking another wizard for their poorly written spellbook would say
having audio processing issues is so humiliating like yeah i heard you and yeah i was actively listening but the problem is i dont know what the fuck you sayed
(grim look)
US friends: Please get registered, and vote, and make sure this guy does not get into the Oval Office next January.
