James: Everything’s going to be fine! It’s just a crush--
Lily: Hey, James!
James: I love you.
Remus: I have an empty notebook and no idea what to put in it. Any suggestions?
James: Put spaghetti in it.
Remus: I am currently taking suggestions from everyone except you.
Sirius: Put spaghetti in it.
Remus: I am currently taking suggestions from everyone except for--
Peter: Put spaghetti in it.
Remus: I am currentl--
James: Put spaghetti in it.
Remus: I am no longer taking suggestions.
Sirius: I swing both ways.
Sirius: Violently. With a stick. Come get some, motherfuckers.
Remus: Is there a spirit in this house?
Ouija Board: Yes.
Remus: Good, the rent is 750 every month and is due every 1st.
Ouija Board: W-T-F?
James: I need you to swear--
Sirius: Fuck.
James: I meant like, promise...
James: You know, Snivellus, I like you much better with my glasses off!
Severus: You put your glasses back on and face the facts!
Sirius: So, how is the greatest wizard in the world doing?
Professor McGonagall: I don't know, how are you Mr. Black?
Sirius:
Sirius, voice cracking: I'm f i n e.
Severus: Were you dropped on your head as a child?
Sirius: Bold of you to assume I was held.
Severus:
Remus:
Peter:
James: Padfoot...
Professor McGonagall: I'm not mad, I just want to know why you two would need a fake ID.
Remus: *incoherent mumbling*
Professor McGonagall: Pardon?
James: ...You need to be over 18 at PetCo to hold the puppies.
Sirius, holding a large box: What would you say if I came back to the dorms one day with 6 kittens?
Professor McGonagall: What's in the box?
Sirius:
Professor McGonagall: Mister Black, what's in the box?
Sirius: I think you know.
Professor McGonagall:
Professor McGonagall, sighing: Let them in.
James: *stabbing air between Sirius and Remus with a butter knife*
Remus: What are you doing?
James: Trying to cut the sexual tension between you two.
James: It isn't working.
James: Can you do me a weird favor without asking any questions?
Sirius: Isn't that the bedrock upon which this friendship was founded?
James: I'm this close to falling in love with Lily.
Remus: Prongs, your fingertips are literally touching.
James: Exactly.
Sirius: Do you ever drink so much coffee that you feel kinda dizzy, then the world is moving in slow motion, and then you're drifting through space and time, and then you can see everything and nothing while being lost in the void?
James: ...No?
Remus: *nods in the background*
James: Adding 'LMAO' does not hide your pain.
Sirius: Yes, it does LMAO.
Sirius: This says your blood pressure is 420 over 69.
Remus: Nice.
Sirius: You're going to die.
Remus: N I C E
Sirius: Hey Moony can you carry this box? It’s really heavy.
Remus, picking up the box effortlessly: Nothing is heavier than the weight of my depression.
Sirius: I’m now equally impressed and concerned.