Lucifer: I can take the pain.
Chloe: You can’t talk to Marcus for more than ten minutes.
Lucifer: Well, there’s pain and there’s torture.
Pierce: Thanks for the lift.
Lucifer: I was trying to run you over.
Pierce: Hey, I always get the vibe that you like... hate me or something.
Lucifer: What? Me, hate you? You’re right.
Lucifer: I'm bored.
Maze: Wanna commit first-degree murder?
Lucifer: Sure!
Chloe, hearing them: No- Stop, don't do that! Put that knife down! Put Pierce down!!
Lucifer: Let’s write Cain a friendly note, shall we? Dear... Incompetent... Dumbass...
Lucifer, talking to Cain: I have never heard someone say so many wrong things, one after the other, consecutively, in a row!
Lucifer: You can't control who walks into your life...
Lucifer: But you can control which window you throw them out of.
[CRASH]
Pierce: AAAAAAaaaaaaaaaa-
Ella, about Chloe and Pierce: They’re such a cute couple, aren’t they?
Lucifer: They certainly are standing next to each other.
Lucifer: [to Cain] Goodnight. Sleep tight. Don't let the fact that you're a terrible person keep you up tonight.
Pierce/Cain: Trust me you won't like me when I'm hungry.
Lucifer: I don't like you now.
Pierce/Cain: *Is drowning*
Lucifer: I’d save him, but who am I to play God?
Pierce: You wouldn’t like me before my coffee haha!
Lucifer: That’s so weird because I don’t like you all the time!
Pierce/Cain: *breathes*
Lucifer: could you shut the fuck up ?!?
Dan: What he do?
Lucifer: bitch gonna breathe
Dan: He stay doing some annoying shit