Cheryl: [opens fridge] Damn, I'm the only snack in the house.
[at a bar]
Bartender: This is from the gentleman over there
Sweet Pea: This is a plant.
Fangs, shouting from across the bar: Just wanted to say aloe!
Betty: What brought you to Riverdale?
Edgar: I threw a dart at a map and it landed in a trash can.
Betty: Hey, will you be my valentine?
Veronica: We’re married.
Betty:
Betty: So... that’s a... yes?
Toni: On a scale of one to ten, you're a nine, because I'm the one you need.
Cheryl: I'm a ten.
Toni: No, it's a pickup lin-
Cheryl: I. Am. A. Ten.
Kevin: [about Veronica] She can’t be good at everything. Maybe she’s a bad kisser.
Betty: No, she’s good at that too.
Kevin: What?
Betty: What?
Toni: Go fuck yourself.
Cheryl: Fuck me yourself, you coward.
Sweet Pea: Why do I have to be the bad guy?
Cheryl: I don’t know. Why am I the pretty one? We all have our thing.
Jughead: What’s for lunch?
Sweet Pea: Food, generally.
Jughead: No, I mean, what are you having?
Sweet Pea: An unwanted conversation.
Betty: What are you doing?
Veronica: [standing on a chair] I live here, you know. I can stand wherever I want, thank you very much
Betty:
Betty: Where’s the spider?
Veronica: It’s under the table. Please get it for me, please-
Toni: Why are you dressed in red and white stripes?
Cheryl: I'm a candy cane! Sweet but twisted!
Sweet Pea: Just bought Jughead a ‘Get better soon!’ card.
Fangs: Why? Is he sick?
Sweet Pea: No, but I think he could be better.
Toni: You’re smiling a lot. Did something good happen?
Sweet Pea: Can’t I just smile because I’m happy?
Fangs, sighing: Jughead fell down the stairs.
Fangs: [points to a high shelf] Can you reach that for me?
Sweet Pea: You need me in your life after all.
Fangs: I could replace you with a stepladder.
Cheryl: If I throw a bucket of water at my mother, do you think she'll melt?
Toni: Worth a try.
Jughead: But if I’m the leader, then what will you be?
FP: I’ll be asleep.
Nick: Have you ever been with a man?
Cheryl: The only thing I've ever been with a man is annoyed.