Jason: When I die again, my tombstone won’t say RIP, it will say VIP.
Tim: That’s because they reserved a special place in hell for you.
Jason: Yeah, the throne.
Jason: God, why are people so much heavier when they’re dead?
Duke: You got a lot of practice at this?
Jason:
Damian: When you die, can I use your skull to strike fear in the hearts of my enemies?
Bruce: ...No.
Bruce: Tim, we need to talk about your last will.
Tim: What about it?
Bruce: Well, the fact that you wrote a will.
Bruce: Also, the only thing you wrote was "bury me with seven extra bones to fuck with the archaeologists lmao."
Things that lasted longer than the Confederacy:
• This blog
• Jason Todd's death
• Destiel
• Doritos Locos Tacos
• Discowing
Damian, reading his fortune cookie: "You will commit a crime in three minutes."
Tim: That's pretty direct, right?
Damian, to Dick: What does yours say?
Dick: Mine says, "You will witness a crime in three minutes."
Damian: Drake, what does yours say?
Tim: "You will die in three minutes."
Anonymous asked:
I realized that because Jon and Dami are both gen alpha they don't know what vine is
Dick: RIP Vine.
Jon: Who's Vine?
Damian: Probably another sibling that received the crowbar.
Jason: Due to the nature of my vocabulary, many of you have expressed concern that I might receive consequences enforced by a certain Bat.
Jason: *glares at Bruce*
Jason: However, I can assure you I am perfectly safe, because what’s he going to do? Ground me? He already let me die once, I just crawled right back again.
incorrectbatfam reblogged
"Came back wrong" but instead of Jason turning evil or whatever he just came back with a taste for pineapple pizza
This is even funnier when I couple it with my personal headcanon that Jason is part Italian
"Came back wrong" but instead of Jason turning evil or whatever he just came back with a taste for pineapple pizza
incorrectbatfam reblogged
Prompt #88
Jason never told anyone, but after he came back from the dead, and his dip in the Pit, he has been able to see ghost.
Tim: Really? You can see ghosts?
Jason: Not ghosts. Ghost. As in the band.
Dick: That doesn't even make sense.
Jason: I came back from the dead. I think we're way past making sense.
Stephanie: Isn't it weird that people kill mosquitoes just because they're annoying? Like, if people did that to other people I would've died years ago.
Do you have any headcanons about dick and Jason being each others favorite brothers👀
Love your blog!!
- Dick's favorite is Jason because Jason knows everything Dick did as a teenager which Dick wants to keep under wraps
- Jason's favorite is Dick because did anyone else try to kill the Joker for him? Exactly. But good luck getting him to admit it
- Dick is convinced Jason came back wrong because no fuckin way his LITTLE brother is TALLER than him
- Pre-reveal, Dick loathed Red Hood with every fiber because all he could think about was how this guy had the audacity to use his brother's killer's old moniker
- Jason did the Pen 15 thing with Sharpie and Dick actually fell for it
- Dick stole Roy's hoodie back in their Titans days, which Jason stole from Dick, and now they go back and forth stealing it from each other while Roy's like "can I have it back now"
- Jason matched with one of Dick's coworkers on a dating app. They met for lunch. At the workplace's cafeteria
- Dick redesigned his squad car after he stopped being a cop and Jason secretly installed a fridge in the glove compartment. Cut to a week later when Jason pulls out a whole pizza on the highway
- Jason does DoorDash occasionally and one time he delivered tacos to an abandoned warehouse because Dick needed backup and the comms were down. Jason didn't help fight, but instead just stood here until he got his tip
- Texting Jason is impossible because he'll reply a month later just to correct Dick's grammar
- They screenshot the funniest mean comments on their posts and meet up once a month to read them over a bonfire with drinks
- Jason will finish patrol, drive all the way to Bludhaven, and climb through Dick's window just to put his wet socks on the radiator and make himself a PB&J. Dick will just be like "ugh whatever" and pretend to watch TV while secretly checking to make sure Jason isn't injured
- They trick the other siblings into thinking there's a Robin test that only Dick and Jason have passed
- Jason stained Dick's carpet with gunpowder so as revenge, Dick hid an alarm clock in Jason's safehouse
- Dick accidentally stumbled across Jason's Ao3 but when he tried to use it as blackmail Jason's just like, "Girl what were YOU doing at the devil's sacrament?"
MTV Cribs episode that's just Jason sitting in his gravehole for 30 minutes
Dick: Accidentally indulged in too much "free time" and turns out I’ve been reported missing for over six months and presumed dead by most local and national authorities.
Stephanie: RIP to everyone killed by the gods for their hubris but I'm different. And better. Maybe even better than the gods.