incorrectbatfam reblogged
Tim: Careful, it might be a trap.
Kon: Allow me.
Kon: *walks straight toward it*
Tim: What, it’s not a trap if you do it?
incorrectbatfam reblogged
Conner: Hey, do you have a bag I can borrow?
Tim: The only bags I have are the ones under my eyes, and they’re specifically designed to carry the burden of my existence.
Conner: Literally all you had to do was say no.
How's retail Steph doing during the Valentine's Day sales?
Previous: Margie | Batkids | Rogues | Justice League | Retail batkids | Retail Bruce | Young Justice | Black Friday
[restaurant]
Kory: *lovingly stares*
Barbara: *lovingly stares back*
Steph, who's been standing there for 2 minutes: ...I'll come back later.
———————
[grocery store]
Duke: Where do I find chocolates for my girlfriend?
Steph: Not at this store if you care about her.
———————
[drive-thru]
Steph: Welcome to Batburger, how may I help you?
Jason: We'll take the Harley and Ivy Couple's Combo.
Roy: And make the fries extra Jokerized.
Steph: Please go up to the window.
Jason and Roy: *drive up*
Steph: That'll be $23.51.
Jason: *pulls out a gun*
Steph: *sighs*
———————
[call center]
Steph: Wayne Enterprises account support, how can I assist you?
Damian: We would like to inquire about purchasing a toilet.
Jon: A skibidi toilet.
Damian and Jon: *snickering*
Steph: I'm telling Cass.
Damian and Jon: *hang up*
Steph: That's what I thought.
———————
[coffee shop]
Steph: What can I get you guys?
Tim: We'll take a large frappuccino.
Bernard: With two straws.
Kon, popping up out of nowhere: Make that three.
Bart, zooming in: Actually, four.
———————
[furniture store]
Steph: Need any help over here?
Dick: Yeah, what's your most durable mattress?
Steph: ...Durable?
Dick: Yeah, so Wally and I can both jump on it.
———————
[clothing store]
Renee: How does this dress look?
Steph: It looks great.
Kate: I think it'd be better on the floor.
Steph: I'm taking my fifteen-minute break.
———————
[at home]
Steph: Hey guys—
Steph: *walks in on Bruce and Selina*
Steph: *turns around*
Steph: Guess I'm working overtime today.
#stephanie brown#spoiler#batman#batfamily#batfam#batboys#batbros#batgirls#batkids#batsiblings#batman family#korybabs#duke x izzy#jayroy#timbern#timkon#timbart#super sons#birdflash#kanee#batcat#incorrect batfamily quotes#incorrect quotes#incorrect dc quotes#dc comics#headcanon#valentines day#tw sex mention#tw food mention
Anonymous asked:
Bruce trying to shove talk his in law
Bruce: *opens his mouth*
Wally: *zooms away*
———————
Bruce: *long spiel*
Bruce: ...And that's why if either of you hurt him, I'll make sure you stay dead this time.
Roy: *takes out one earbud*
Roy, to Artemis: Did you hear something?
Artemis, watching TV: *shrugs*
———————
Kory: I've come to seek your blessing to ask Barbara out.
Bruce: Sure.
Kory: That's it? Isn't there a ritual bat-talk you undergo with all of your children's lovers?
Bruce: Barbara can handle it herself.
———————
Bruce: If any of you make Tim sad for even a SECOND, I will take everything you have.
Bernard, a college student: *hands him a dollar*
Kon, a farmer: *empties a pocket of dirt*
Bart, a Bart: *spits out a pizza crust*
———————
Steph and Cass: *enter holding hands*
Bruce: It's too early for this.
Steph: It's three PM.
———————
Bruce: Thank you for the intel, Detective Montoya. Now about you and my cousin—
Renee: Hold on, I'm getting a call.
Renee: *answers the phone and walks away*
———————
Bruce: You must be Duke's girlfriend.
Izzy: Yeah, I am. Got a problem with that, nepo baby?
Bruce: ...You may proceed.
———————
Jon: Hiya, Mr. Wayne! I'm here for me and Dami's playdate.
Bruce: Did you say playDATE?
———————
Bruce: He may seem tough, but on the inside he's a little boy who's been hurt too many times.
Selina: Is this really necessary?
Bruce: Promise me you'll take care of that little boy!
Selina: Okay, okay, yeesh.
———————
Bruce: YOU BREAK HIS HEART AND YOU'LL REGRET IT, DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?
Alfred: Master Bruce, I think you misinterpreted what I meant by I love scones.
#bruce wayne#batman#birdflash#jayroy#jaytemis#korybabs#timbern#timkon#timbart#stephcass#kanee#duke x izzy#damijon#batcat#alfred pennyworth#teen titans#red hood and the outlaws#young justice#super sons#batfamily#batfam#batboys#batgirls#batkids#batsiblings#batman family#incorrect batfamily quotes#incorrect quotes#incorrect dc quotes#dc comics
Anonymous asked:
Ok this is gonna be weird bc it's a less popular ship/rarepair but I haven't found much Tim/Bart angst specifically and I was wondering if you could do some?
- Bart can canonically break the fourth wall. He knew when one of his comics was canceled and he's aware that he's part of a bigger story. And it wouldn't be a stretch to say that he knows, at least in a sense, that everyone sort of takes a backseat to the batfam. So he's aware that Tim is the main character of Young Justice's stories.
- Bart was supposed to be the funny speedster friend. He never meant to develop feelings. But it's Tim. Smart, dedicated, messy-in-a-cute-way Tim who doesn't realize how magnetic he is.
- While Tim's stealing kisses from Steph on patrol, Bart's sitting on top of a Central City skyscraper, wondering what it'd feel like to have Tim there instead. He pictures the wind billowing under Tim's cape and messing up his hair, and flexes his fingers on the concrete ledge while imaging what it'd be like to have Tim's hand in his own.
- Both in and out of costume, he sees the tension between Tim and Kon. The teasing, the momentary touches, the heart-to-hearts. Sure, he and Tim have them too, but with Kon, Tim just seems... different.
- One time, they're having a sleepover, just the two of them. They lose track of time playing video games, until Tim dozes off on Bart's shoulder. And Bart just freezes. He doesn't know what to do and he doesn't wanna wake Tim up, so he just stays like that. Hours crawl by and it takes everything in him to resist playing with Tim's hair. Eventually, Tim wakes up and Bart goes back to pretending it's all cool.
- Then Tim comes out and starts dating Bernard, and Bart pulls back. He's glad for Tim, but he can't help but long for what could have been. While Tim and Bernard are having dinner on the rooftop, Bart is in his room with the curtains drawn, slow dancing by himself to a song Tim introduced him to years back.
- Nobody knows. Not Kon or Cassie. Not the Flashes. In a life written for mass consumption, this is the one thing Bart has to himself. And he's accepted that Tim's never gonna see him as more than a friend. Happy endings are for main characters. Bart's just there to root for him.
Kon: My sexuality? Everyone knows I'm straight. I like girls and have dated them, you know? I don't understand why this is so hard to—
Tim: *walks by*
Kon: I'm gay. I'm fucking gay as hell. I'm so gay.
Kon: I think I’m in love with you.
Tim: You mean as friends?
Anonymous asked:
Dark crisis opinions?
We technically got Timkon but otherwise uh... I'll disregard the rest of it I did like the added dimension to Bart Allen tho
incorrectbatfam reblogged
Anonymous asked:
Bernard full of guilt tells Tim he thinks he has a crush on someone else and Tim having to keep a straight face while his boyfriend starts sobbing about how much he thinks of Red Robin but he still loves Tim and he's so sorry his mind isn't loyal.
Tim: I have a crush on Red Robin too
Bernard: I also have a crush on Red Robin's boyfriend, Superboy.
Tim: ...
Tim: Bitch me too
Cassie: Bernard, what's your type?
Bernard: My soulmate, Tim.
Bart: And what about you, Kon? What's your type?
Kon: Bernard's soulmate.
#source: incorrect quotes ideas#tim drake#red robin#bernard dowd#cassie sandsmark#wonder girl#bart allen#impulse#conner kent#superboy#young justice#timber#timkon#batfamily#incorrect batfamily quotes#batfam#batboys#batbros#batkids#batsiblings#batman family#incorrect quotes#incorrect dc quotes#dc comics
Damian: Why are you ignoring Drake?
Kon: I’m playing hard to get.
Damian: Why would you do that? You’re already hard to want.
Kon, posting a picture: We look like a couple here.
Tim: A couple of besties.
Kon: Truth or dare?
Tim: Truth.
Kon: What’s your credit card number?
Tim: Never mind, dare.
Kon: I dare you to give me your credit card number.
Tim: Hey, Kon, did you see these posts about us? So many people think Robin and Superboy are together.
Kon: Yeah.
Tim: Honestly, I love you, but I don't want to kiss you or anything.
Kon: Can't relate.
Kon: You didn’t really have a crush on me, did you?
Tim: I think I did at one point, when we first met, but we became such good friends that I was kind of suppressed it in favor of that relationship.
Kon: Okay. Yeah. Yeah, me too.
Tim: What?
Tim: I’m a nerd. I’ve never fit in. If we’d met in high school, you wouldn’t have even noticed me.
Kon: That’s just because I didn’t go to class. I wouldn’t have seen you.
Kon: So, I heard you like bad boys.
Tim: Not really.
Kon: Oh thank God.