Bernard: You're pretty great.
Tim, pulling out his own receipts: OH, REALLY?
Tim, about Bernard: You know, I'm just not very good at talking to people I like.
Kon: Why? You're hot!
Tim: What?
Kon: Uh... you're a very appealing guy... man... guy-man.
Tim: I love espresso, coffee, caffeinated teas, and then Bernard. In that order.
Dick: Just go over there and tell Bernard you like him. What's the worst that could happen?
Tim: He could hear me!
Anonymous asked:
timbern headcanons?
- Tim being a coffee addict is a given, but Bernard is a coffee addict by proxy. He keeps a stash of coffee-flavored chocolates and will stab someone for a tiramisu, but as soon as someone brings him actual coffee he'll act as if he was just given a cup of earthworms
- Somewhere, floating in the fringes of the internet, is Bernard's first ever conspiracy that he wrote in middle school, which has been his deepest source of cringe ever since. The theory: Batman is none other than billionaire CEO Bruce Wayne
- Bernard's conclusions might sometimes be a stretch, but he's really good at finding evidence in the details. Tim releases him onto crime scenes after hours with some evidence bags and Bernard goes buck wild collecting whatever he sees. He once accidentally solved a murder with a bottle cap
- Bern's dorm has a strict "no sneaking vigilantes through your window" rule. The RAs go around making sure the windows are secured during room checks. After the RA leaves, Tim drops from the vent
- The first time Bernard visits the Manor, everyone welcomes him and dinner seems to go by smoothly. Later, however, Damian lures him to the family plot and gives him the shovel talk next to a conveniently empty grave
- The Gotham City Pride festival committee reached out to Tim and Bernard about joining them, so they come prepared to make a stage appearance or maybe sit on a parade float. Turns out two of the volunteers canceled last minute and they needed help handing out pamphlets
- Gargoyles are great, but Tim's favorite secluded high-altitude spot is a billboard in Burnside with a pun that isn't all that funny but Bernard laughs at every single time
- Tim's gay awakening was Superboy—at least, it's pretty heavily implied in canon. Bernard's was Impulse
Tim, texting Stephanie: Hey, I just walked into this party and someone yelled dibs lol.
[meanwhile]
Bernard, texting Stephanie: STEPH HELP I FUCKED UP. SOME HOT GUY WALKED INTO THE PARTY AND I YELLED DIBS.
incorrectbatfam reblogged
Anonymous asked:
Bernard full of guilt tells Tim he thinks he has a crush on someone else and Tim having to keep a straight face while his boyfriend starts sobbing about how much he thinks of Red Robin but he still loves Tim and he's so sorry his mind isn't loyal.
Tim: I have a crush on Red Robin too
Bernard: I also have a crush on Red Robin's boyfriend, Superboy.
Tim: ...
Tim: Bitch me too
Anonymous asked:
Bernard full of guilt tells Tim he thinks he has a crush on someone else and Tim having to keep a straight face while his boyfriend starts sobbing about how much he thinks of Red Robin but he still loves Tim and he's so sorry his mind isn't loyal.
Tim: I have a crush on Red Robin too
Anonymous asked:
Batfam interacting and bonding with Bernard, if it's not too much to ask?
Dick: Hey, Bernard! Tim's not here right now.
Bernard: That's fine, I can come back late—
Dick: *drags Bernard inside*
Dick: Sorry I didn't get around to it sooner, but I've been meaning to ask, what do you do?
Bernard: Huh?
Dick: What do you do for a living? How do you plan on paying for that engagement ring that you'll be getting Tim in ten years?
Bernard: Ten years is a long—
Dick: Speaking of rings, have you seen that new Lord of the Rings show? Barbara said I should skip it, but there's something weirdly amusing about bad shows, you know?
Bernard: I've heard of—
Dick: *tightens his grip on Bernard's shoulder*
Dick: What's your favorite bad media, Bernie? Can I call you Bernie?
Bernard: Actually, I prefer—
Dick: Sweet. Anyway, Bernie, lemme show you my collection of Dreamworks movies that people claim are flops but are actually cinematic masterpieces.
—————
Cassie: Bernard, what's your type?
Bernard: My soulmate, Tim.
Bart: And what about you, Kon? What's your type?
Kon: Bernard's soulmate.
#source: incorrect quotes ideas#tim drake#red robin#bernard dowd#cassie sandsmark#wonder girl#bart allen#impulse#conner kent#superboy#young justice#timber#timkon#batfamily#incorrect batfamily quotes#batfam#batboys#batbros#batkids#batsiblings#batman family#incorrect quotes#incorrect dc quotes#dc comics
[texting]
Tim: Wanna come over? Nobody's home.
Bernard: I'll be there in a few minutes!
[later]
Bernard: I'm here, where are you?
Tim: I told you nobody is home.
Anonymous asked:
Ok hear me out: im not sure if you’ve done something like this but Jason would totally have some sort of social media account we’re he just reviews literature and media adaptations. But Tim would have were he just does commentary on random shit he finds on the internet. He usually gets Steph to do it with him but when he finds something insanely ridiculous he’ll try and get Bruce or Jason to sit with him while he goes through it.
Bernard makes a special appearance and everyone thinks he's just there for Tim to introduce his boyfriend to the world but then Bernard opens his mouth and it's like oh. Tim's the normal one
Tim: It's so cute when Bernard.
Dick:
Tim:
Dick: When Bernard...?
Tim: Yeah.
[dropping Tim off at his date with Bernard]
Dick: Oh! If it isn't you! You old so-and-so!
Dick: It's been long since I... uh...
Dick: I-I mean, you...?
Bernard: We've never met before.
Dick: Oh thank God.
[going to bed]
Tim: I love you.
Bernard: I love you too.
[awkward silence]
Tim: We both love you as well, Kon.
Kon, in the middle of the bed: Thanks, I was feeling a little left out.