[going to bed]
Tim: I love you.
Bernard: I love you too.
[awkward silence]
Tim: We both love you as well, Kon.
Kon, in the middle of the bed: Thanks, I was feeling a little left out.
Jason: When I first met you, I thought you were weird and annoying.
Tim:
Jason:
Tim: And?
Jason: You are.
Dick: Bro what's your body count?
Jason: Oh, me? Dang, like... thirty now.
Dick: Oh my God, you are a hoe!
Jason: How does that make me a——wait, are we talking about people we slept with?
Dick: Y-yeah.
Jason: Oh.
Jason: Well, I've never done that yet.
Dick: Then why'd you say thirty?
Jason: *laughs nervously*
Dick: BRO, WHAT DOES THIRTY MEAN?!
Damian: I have good news and I have bad news.
Bruce: What's the bad news?
Damian: The kangaroo pooped in the tub.
Bruce: Damian, we don't have a kangaroo.
Damian: Now for the good news.
incorrectbatfam reblogged
Selina, trying to enter the Batcave: Hello, I'd like to walk in there.
Bruce: Sorry, this is a classified area.
Selina: Oh, of course. Please?
Bruce: Hilarious, I'm laughing. Get out.
Selina: I didn't want to have to do this but...pretty please?
Bruce, opening the door: Who told you about that?
Tim, raising his fist: That’s IT, you’re about to get it!
Damian: Wait, wait, wait! I’m baby!
Tim: What the fuck does that–
Tim: *goes to punch Damian*
Dick: Hey, stop! You can’t do that.
Tim: What?
Dick: He’s BABY, you can’t just do that.
Damian: *blows a raspberry*
Tim: He fucking–
Dick: Yeah, well, he’s baby, so...
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Selina, trying to enter the Batcave: Hello, I'd like to walk in there.
Bruce: Sorry, this is a classified area.
Selina: Oh, of course. Please?
Bruce: Hilarious, I'm laughing. Get out.
Selina: I didn't want to have to do this but...pretty please?
Bruce, opening the door: Who told you about that?