Harper: How do you think you did?
Stephanie: On what?
Harper: The final.
Stephanie: It’s tomorrow.
Harper: It was today at 10:15.
Harper: May 8th 10:15.
Stephanie: ???
Harper: Steph...
[texting]
Tim: What if the "g" in "gif" is silent?
Jason: Go the fuck to sleep.
Tim: What gif I don't want to?
Jason: Fuck you.
Damian: Come back.
Damian: I miss you.
Damian: Where did you go?
Damian: Are you mad at me?
Damian: Please come back.
Dick: Damian, I was gone for two minutes. How much attention do you need?
Damian: All of it.
Jason: My life has become a never-ending game of "Illegal or Just Frowned Upon?"
Tim, texting Stephanie: Hey, I just walked into this party and someone yelled dibs lol.
[meanwhile]
Bernard, texting Stephanie: STEPH HELP I FUCKED UP. SOME HOT GUY WALKED INTO THE PARTY AND I YELLED DIBS.
[drunk texting Bruce]
Jason: First off: I’m drunk so fuck you.
Jason: Second: you weren’t a bad father.
Jason: Tres: that’s 3 in Spanish.
Jason: Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down.
Jason: Guess what I’m doing tomorrow?
Damian: Becoming a productive member of society?
Jason: Damian. Come on.
Duke: How tall are you?
Damian: Height is a social construct.
Duke: ...So you're short.
incorrectbatfam reblogged
Jason: Do something fun. Sleep over at a murder site or whatever.
Duke: How have you survived this long?
Jason: Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Stephanie: You are not a MILF, you are eighteen and nonbinary and childless.
Cassandra: Don't forget mentally ill.
Stephanie: That too.
Harper: What the fuck—
Dick: Would you shoot your best friend in the leg for ten million dollars?
Jason: You shoot me, and then when my leg gets better, we buy a big-ass house and Range Rovers.
Roy: You can shoot me too, we’ll have twenty million.
Jason: Good thinking, fuck the system.
#source: texts from last night#dick grayson#nightwing#jason todd#red hood#roy harper#arsenal#red hood and the outlaws#teen titans#batfamily#incorrect batfamily quotes#batfam#batboys#batbros#batkids#batsiblings#batclan#batman family#incorrect quotes#incorrect dc quotes#dc comics#tw violence mention#tw swearing
Tim: What should I eat for lunch?
Damian and Jason: Poison.
Dick: Why is my underwear in the freezer?
Barbara: You said "this is gonna confuse me so much tomorrow". Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
Dick: That explains so much.
incorrectbatfam reblogged
Clark: I want to tell you a joke but I only remember the punchline.
Bruce: Go ahead.
Clark: Tooth-hurty.
Bruce: When is the best time to go to the dentist?
Clark: You complete me.
Tim: My breakfast consisted of gummies——made with real fruit——and they’re trying to tell me I’m not eating right?!?
Alfred: How drunk is Master Bruce? Well, he just left me a voicemail as Batman.
Tim, texting: Hi, who's this? Jason changed all of my contacts to mythical creatures.
Other person: What's mine?
Tim: "Dwarf."
Other person: I'M NOT THAT SHORT!
Tim: Oh, hey Damian.