Pearl : Could you turn on the lights?
Platinum : Sure [clap clap]
Pearl : oh did you actually install a clapper in your house?
Platinum : Clapper?
[Ambipoms riding on a rapidash barges in the room and turns on the light]
Pearl : HOLY SHIT!!!
Pearl: Frankly, I'm offended that you'd ever even think it was me who set the kitchen on fire.
Diamond: So it wasn't you?
Pearl: No, it was. I'm just offended.
Pearl: Diamond. Remember that time I told you you were too friendly with everyone?
Diamond: [making tea] No.
Cyrus: [sips tea] Two sugars, please.
Pearl: Ok, important question: We’re on a desert island. Who’s eating who?
Platinum: Who’s eating whom?
Pearl: ... just for that I’m eating you
Pearl: I told you multiple times.
Diamond: Well, apparently I wasn't listening multiple times.
Pearl: How long does your ideal hug last?
Diamond: Thirty-eight to forty-five minutes.
Pearl: That seems really impractical.
Diamond: You said ideal, not realistic.
Pearl: There's nothing better than a dog.
Diamond: Two dogs?
Pearl: You're right. I have been a fool.
Platinum: Why is this mountain so cold?!
Pearl: Maybe because it’s a mountain?!
Platinum: why aren’t you cold?
Pearl: Well I equipped this great new mountaineering item called PANTS
Anonymous asked:
entourageshipping for the sickfic?
Platinum sighed. “Diamond, we told you this would happen.” Diamond weakly swatted her hand away, groaning melodramatically as he sank further into the couch. “That was the best meal I’ve ever had... why does food like to hurt me like this?” he moaned. “It’s a hard reality, but... I guess you’ll have to stomach it,” Platinum replied. Diamond began to laugh, clutching his aching stomach in pain as he giggled. “Bad puns are my job!” he complained. “And making sure you don’t get sick is my job,” Pearl replied as he came into the room with two hot water bottles. “This should help,” he said. “Let me know if you need anything else.” Diamond smiled and closed his eyes. “You guys are the best.”
DP goes a lot harder than I remember...
[Diamond, holding Manaphy]
Pearl: What the hell is that?
Diamond: It’s a baby we found in the dumpster.
Pearl: Well, put it back. It doesn’t belong to you.
Diamond: Pearl... I’m sorry.
Diamond: .. .----. -- / ... --- .-. .-. -.--
Pearl: What?
Diamond: Remorse Code
Pearl: ... You made me angrier than before.
Cyrus: I don't know how you guys live with yourselves.
Platinum: [smiles] one day at a time
Pearl: [sighs] One day at a time
Diamond: [yawns] one day at a time
Platinum: 6am. That's when the rest of the world gets up.
Pearl: That's when the chickens get up.
Diamond, sleep deprived: The rest of the world is chickens?
Diamond: That’s not Missy, it’s a chatbot
Pearl: What do you mean?
Diamond: I mean it’s a programmed, repetitive, humorless, inhuman simulation of a person
Pearl: ... yeah. Platinum.