I didn’t understand why people care so much about their dumb kids 'till I got a dumb kid. I’ve only had Isha for a day and a half, but if anything happened to her, I would kill everyone in this room and then myself.
Tobias: In the words of my daughter... ya basic.
Tobias: It's an insult. It's devastating.
Tobias: You're devastated now.
Caitlyn: [lifting glass for a toast] To catching Jinx.
Vi: To catching Jinx.
Ezreal: To Rihanna, because I love Rihanna.
Viktor: Are you saying you want to secretly perform scientific experiments on random people to increase efficiency and cause chaos?
Signed: Yes.
Viktor: Sounds fun. Let's do it.
Jayce: Alright, give me your hair dryer.
Jayce: What?
Caitlyn: What are you talking about?
Jayce: Don't you carry one in your bag?
Caitlyn: Have you ever met a normal human?
Jayce: Hey, do you carry a hair dryer in your purse?
Ezreal: Of course. I'm not an animal.
Caitlyn: Every time! Your big mouth gets us into trouble every time!
Vi: Not every time, only like, a third of the time.
Cassandra: I don't want my daughter dating a screw up!
Vi: Well I don't want my favorite girlfriend daughter-ing a jerk mom! Burn on you!
Ezreal: I can’t believe we’re stuck in this elevator.
Vi: Can anyone hear us?! Hello?!?
Ezreal: You’re just yelling? Why not use those arms and rip the doors open?
Vi: It’s not a safe idea until I know what we’re dealing with.
Ezreal: So you’re telling me those bazookas are just for show?!?
Vi: Okay, I know you’re scared, but they’re called biceps-
Caitlyn: I’m in love with you.
Vi: We called off the prank war last night at midnight, dork.
Caitlyn: I know.
Vi: Ah. Okay. Um. Cool. Neat. Very cool. Cool. Cool. Coolcoolcool-
Caitlyn: I can’t believe this! Fighting with other Wardens? What were you all thinking?
Vi: In my defense I didn’t want to fight them! I was just defending the honor of my friends!
Caitlyn: I heard you scream out “I LOVE this!”
Vi: We can make this work! We’re like Romeo and Juliet.
Caitlyn: It didn’t work for Romeo and Juliet. That play ends in a tragic double suicide.
Vi: That’s how it ends? Why do people like it so much?
Mel, looking over at Jayce: Ugh, he's so stupid, I can't believe I'm going to have sex with him.
Elora: You know, you don't have to.
Mel: No, I'm gonna.
Vi: I am sorry that you had to witness such a vicious fight.
Jayce: Oh? Was that a fight?
Vi: Are you kidding? Caitlyn said "you'll have to excuse me" instead of "please, excuse me." May as well spit in my face.
Vi: I know you're mad, but before you say anything, yes, we screwed up. And yes, you warned us. And yes, I don't know where I'm going with this. But I do know this: I have reached the end of my sentence.
Caitlyn: [stares]
Vi: Oh my God, did that work?!
Ezreal: Worked for me!
Caitlyn: Have a seat.
Jayce: I'm 23, I'm a celebrity, and today I'm gonna die!
Caitlyn: Not one of these words is true.
Jayce: Me and Viktor have been texting, check this out.
Caitlyn, reading Viktor’s text out loud: “New phone, who dis?”
Vi: Mark the date, cupcake. May 18th at 4pm.
Caitlyn: Oh honey, we're well into October.
Vi: Really?!