Kili: For someone with only one brain cell, I sure do tend to overthink a lot. Fili: That's why we share the brain cell, Kili.

Bilbo: What the hell happened here??

Fili: Well Kili was just vibing and then a raccoon decided to come vibe check him and-

Bilbo, walking away: Nope, this sounds like Kili problem not a Bilbo problem.

Fili: You know what I realised? Bilbo: That some thoughts are better left unsaid? Fili: Nice try genius. Anyways-

Kili: What if mayonnaise came in cans? Fili: That would suck because you can't microwave metal Bilbo: Good morning to everyone except the two of you

Bofur, wearing an apron and towel over his shoulder: Thorin!

Kili, also wearing an apron: Hey, you’re home!

Thorin: ..wha-

Dwalin: I fixed the windows for you!

Fili, opening the oven: I made dinner!

Dori: We missed you!

Thorin: Everyone, pleas-

Thorin: We’re in ikea, behave.

Fili: I made that whipped coffee thing today

Fili: I put like 6 packets of instant coffee in it

Bilbo: Please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of instant coffee?

Fili: *twitches*

Kili: I want that

Bilbo: No-

Fili and Kili: *sitting on a bench together*

Bilbo: Why do you guys look so upset?

Fili: Sit down and we’ll tell you

Bilbo: *sits down*

Kili: This bench is freshly painted

Tilda: Dad, I’m a big girl, I don’t want dinosaur nuggets

Bard: But look at uncles Kili and Fili still eating them-

Kili and Fili: *sitting across the table after having a ketchup fight* Rawr rawr rawr rawr

Kili: Hacker voice: I’m in. Fili: … Fili: I don’t think you’re actually supposed to say “hacker voice”. Fili: And all you did was open Google.

Fili: you shouldn’t be sad because sad spelt backwards is das and das not gud

Fili: bro I got you some shoes take a look Kili: bro those are expensive... Fili: I have the same pair too, now we are Fili: solemates Kili: bro

[on the phone] Thorin: I just got home, where are you guys? Fili: The hospital. Thorin: What? Why?? What happened?! Fili: Kili swallowed a watermelon seed. Thorin: So? It's not like it's gonna grow a watermelon in his stomach. Fili: Fili: We'll be home in 10 minutes.

*Fili & Kili at the supermarket*

Fili: We would like to buy this jar of jam

Cashier: Would you like it in a paper bag

Kili, frowning: That’s kind of gross, please keep it in the jar

Fili: have you ever been to an animal hospital

Bofur: no

Bofur, imagining a puppy in a lab coat with a tiny stethoscope: but I want to go