Yaku: How many kids do you have?
Sugawara: Biologically, emotionally, or legally?
Yaku: Honestly, the fact that I have to specify...
Sugawara: Don’t play around with knives.
Sugawara: Unless you’re recording it on YouTube for, like, thousands of views. In that case...
Nishinoya: Sometimes we screw things up for the better.
Sugawara: That’s a good motto, we should use that.
Sugawara: What's wrong with us?
Oikawa: A lot. But at least we're beautiful.
Azumane: So how's it going with Daichi? Got a date already?
Sugawara: Not yet, we’re still at the “awkward flirting” stage. At least, I’m flirting and he's awkward.
Sugawara: I hope you didn't do anything foolish.
Hinata: I hope you're not hoping to hard.
-After the Wakutani vs Karasuno match-
Sawamura: Once again, the captain saved the day.
Sugawara: You didn't do anything. You weren't even in the match.
Sawamura: I'm the captain. We're a package deal!
[Nishinoya and Tanaka sitting in jail together]
Nishinoya: So who should we call?
Tanaka: I’d call Suga, but I feel safer in jail.
Sugawara: Daichi...
Sawamura: Oh no, 'Daichi' in b-flat.
Sawamura: You're disappointed.
Hinata: Sometimes I really can’t stand you!
Kageyama: The feeling’s mutual!
Sugawara, in his head: Enemies to lovers, slowburn, angst with a happy ending, 300k+ words.
Sugawara: What’s going on?
Tsukishima: Nothing. Just a little trouble with Hinata.
Sugawara: ...Do you mean he's IN trouble, or he IS the trouble?
Tsukishima: Yes.
Ukai: So you're the therapist for the whole team?
Sugawara: Yep!
Ukai: Who's your therapist then?
Sugawara, holding up a small pebble: I talk to this rock sometimes.
Sugawara: I’ll buy lunch for whoever can make Hinata sleep first.
Kageyama, holding up a huge rock: Where is he?
Nishinoya, t-posing in the doorway: Greetings, parental figure!
Sugawara, not even looking up from his coffee: Good morning, problem child.
Sawamura: Suga, you worry too much.
Sugawara: No, I worry exactly the right amount. You can never worry too much!
Sugawara, about Kageyama: You can sure see why they call him a rising star.
Sawamura: Star?
Tanaka: You called?
Sugawara: No. Wrong number.
Tanaka: Ouch...
[Chandelier shatters into the ground]
Sugawara: Oops.
Azumane: Have we always had that chandelier?
Sawamura: I don’t know, never noticed.