Ichigo: The only thing I'm guilty of is loving Karakura town.
Ichigo: And punching my father in the face.
Ukitake: Am I interrupting anything important?
Kyoraku: Impossible, I work for the government.
Urahara: I usually take a five percent commission, but I'll make it three percent. Friends and family discount.
Ryuken: Make it five. I don't want you getting any ideas that we're friends.
Urahara: Respect.
Isshin: Will you, uh, wear that red thing?
Masaki: I'll wear that red thing when you deserve to see me in that red thing.
Akon: When people get too chummy with me, I like to call them the wrong name to let them know that I don't really care about them.
Rin: That's a genius move.
Akon: Thank you.
Rin: You're welcome, Acorn.
Rangiku: What portion of this camping trip will take place outside?
Toshiro: All of it!
Rangiku: Pass.
Hanataro: Hey, Captain!
Hanataro: I feel like you were mad at me yesterday, and I don't know why. So I made a list of everything I did, and I'm going to try to not do any of them again.
Unohana:
Unohana: :)
Baraggan: I believe one problem with working with women is the fact that they're frail and breakable.
Harribel: Don't you mean a lightbulb? Or your hip?
Love, picking up a broccoli: Look at this tiny tree! Do you think someone could eat this?
Rose, picking up a cauliflower: Aww, this one's dead.
Lisa: [ stares into camera ]
Rukia: Is anyone going to tell me what's going on here?
Chad: It's kind of complicated, but Ichigo-
Rukia: Got it. Forget I asked.
Gin: Every year we dress up as hollows and we egg Squad 9s barracks.
Tosen: That was you?!
Aizen: Please, Kaname, this is a private conversation.
Riruka: We lost a lot of good bread that day.
Giriko: … As well as several human lives.
Ishida: I'm making mac and cheese pizza.
Inoue: MAC AND CHEESE PIZZA! YOU'RE MAKING THAT?
Inoue: [ passionately kisses him ]
Ishida: So what, I have to be your slave or something?
Ichigo: No, you have to be my friend.
Ishida: Ugh, that's so much worse.
Kenpachi: When you're in a battle, you don't have time to think. So I thought to myself, "Don't think, Zaraki. Act."
Yamamoto: So you weren't thinking.
Kenpachi: Not at all. I cannot emphasize enough how little I was thinking.
Yamamoto: I've had the same will since I was eight years old.
Ukitake, reading the will: "Upon my death, I will transfer all of my belongings to the man or animal who has killed me."
Ukitake: What are these weird symbols?
Yamamoto: The man who kills me will know.
Kensei, I typed your symptoms into the thing up here and it says you could have network connectivity problems.
Mashiro Kuna