Omaeda: Captain! Don't let him provoke you!
Soifon: I'm already provoked!
Omaeda: Are you serious?
Soifon: Almost always. I was once voted the worst audience participant Cirque De Soleil ever had.
Am I boring? Sure. Social skills? None. But I'm loyal if you feed me and I will never leave you because, well, I need the food.
Marechiyo Omaeda
Omaeda: I'm not getting in that boat!
Soifon: Fine, see you in three days.
Omaeda: You know I can't swim!
Soifon: Hence... the boat.
Soifon: I'm a moderate and peaceful person, truth be told.
Omaeda: Just yesterday you threw a chair at Kisuke Urahara.
Soifon: Yes, which was a moderate and peaceful compromise from the table I was initially planning on launching at that bitch.
Omaeda: Are you this rude to everyone?
Soifon: Yes.
Soifon: Don't think you're special.
Omaeda: You have experience with emotionally fragile men, don't you?
Soifon: You're self aware today.
Omaeda: Captain, I need your help.
Soifon: Make it quick. I've got to be somewhere.
Omaeda: Where?
Soifon: Anywhere you and I aren't talking.
Omaeda: She's right. I could lose some weight.
Shuhei: In sumo culture, you'd be a promising up-and-coming.
Omaeda: So I've decided to take my career in a whole new direction.
Soifon: Forward?
Shuhei: I'm not afraid.
Izuru: Neither am I.
Omaeda: Well, I am terrified! These guys are professional killers! It's their profession!
I don't buy the "Everyone is doing their best" theory. I know firsthand that I'm not.
Marechiyo Omaeda
Omaeda: Excuse me, do you have a toothpick?
Isane, handing him a toothpick: I do actually.
Omaeda: Thanks.
Omaeda: [ Eats the toothpick ]
Isane: Oh no.
Yoruichi: If you had to choose between Omaeda and all the money in my pocket, which would you take?
Soifon: That depends. How much money are we talking about?
Omaeda: Captain?!
Yoruichi: Sixty-two cents-
Soifon: I'll take the money.
Omaeda: CAPTAIN!!
Omaeda: I would never say that my Captian is a bitch and that I don't like her. That's not true.
Omaeda: My Captain is a bitch and I like her. SO. MUCH.
Rangiku: What's his body like, on a scale of Omaeda to Shuhei?
Omaeda: Sorry, buddy.
Shuhei: What? I'm the ten!
Omaeda: Sure you are.
Soifon: It's just a scratch.
Omaeda: A scratch? Your arm's off!
Soifon: No it isn't.
Omaeda: Well, what's that then?
Soifon: ... I've had worse.