Shuhei: You are so petty.
Yumichika: And conceited I thought you said pretty.
Yumichika: Anyway, sorry for being mean and gay.
Yumichika: Sike! I don't care.
Yachiru: Why don't you have a wife?
Yumichika: I'm gay.
Yachiru: What's that mean?
Yumichika: It means I like men not women.
Yachiru:
Yachiru: So why don't you have a husband?
Ikkaku: I'm Captain's right hand arm... man. I'm his confident, his best friend. His silly rabbit.
Yumichika: His what?
Ikkaku: His silly rabbit.
Yumichika: Is that what he calls you?
Ikkaku: No.
Yumichika, about killing a hollow together: It was pretty romantic.
Ikkaku: You know who the only people who would think that are?
Yumichika: Who?
Ikkaku: Us.
Ikkaku: If an assassin killed you, I would hunt them down to the ends of the Earth.
Yumichika: On your word, I would kill every person in this room without a second thought.
Rangiku: You guys know normal couples don't say these things to each other, right?
Ikkaku: Just had a threesome.
Yumichika: Shut the fuck up. You didn't.
Ikkaku: Yes, I did.
Ikkaku: Fought three guys at the same time.
Yumichika: Yeah, that sounds more like you.
Ikkaku: Is that vodka?
Yumichika: Yeah.
Ikkaku: Straight?
Yumichika: No, gay.
Ikkaku: The VODKA, NOT YOU.
Rangiku: This shirt would fit if it weren't for boobs: a tragedy.
Momo: This shirt would fit if I had boobs: the sequel.
Nemu: This shirt fits perfectly because my boobs are the right size: the fanfiction.
Yumichika: My shirts always fit: a man's tale.
Yachiru: I wanted a snack, but I didn't know what to eat.
Yumichika: Okay.
Yachiru: So I ate everything.
Kenpachi: She's a problem solver.
Yumichika: I kind of love you Ikkaku Madarame.
Ikkaku: I kind of love you Yumichika Ayasegawa.
Yumichika: I find your comments offensive and phobic.
Shuhei: Phobic of what?
Yumichika: Why does it matter to you so much?
Ikkaku: Request for you not to be a bitch.
Yumichika: Request denied.
Yumichika: Rangiku. Stop sleeping with your coworkers. It ruins them.
Rangiku: I slept with you.
Yumichika: And now I no longer sleep with women.
Yumichika: I'm just taking notes.
Yumichika: Mental notes.
Ikkaku: For what? Our second date?
Yumichika: No, I was thinking 5 year anniversary.
Ikkaku: Come with me.
Yumichika: Anywhere.
Yumichika: You know what? I want a divorce.
Ikkaku: We're not even married?
Yumichika: And whose fucking fault is that?