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Wow…life on life is so hard? Opening up to people is so hard. That craving of opening up to someone and having them open up to me is so strong in my heart it feels like I’m going to explode. When will I finally have a give and take relationship? It’s either I’m giving too much or I’m taking too much. I just want someone that I can trust to tell everything to and vise versa. Let me have someone that can trust me with their fears, their doubts, their passions, their inner feelings and revelations that they haven’t shared with anyone else. I just want to have someone that would encourage and love me as much as I’m willing to encourage and love them. My hunger for more makes me feel like I’m going to burst. Or break apart. Thinking about people too much has been threatening me to shatter into tears at any moment. This week has been such an emotional roller coaster.

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I’m on medication that can make me spacey af, which can be a problem when I’m driving–like yesterday, for example, when my best friend was trying to help me avoid a pothole he said “to the left,” and I just mumbled “take it back now y'all” and hit the pothole straight on

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Straight White Boy Problem #837

*girl finishes hugging friend, turns towards me*

me: hey, dont i get a hug too? ;)

girl: *makes a forced smile*    *goes in for the side hug*

me (thinking): what the hell?  a “side hug”?????? side hugs aren’t even “real” hugs! i thought we were really good friends……we sat next to each other every. single. day. for a whole semester. who gave you your homework because you had to go out of state for “school activities”??? I DID. the LEAST i could get is a “full hug”!!! i mean….i full hug my grandma all the time and i’m not even trying to touch her bobbies……please…..i beg you…..give me a good hug…..

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