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#personal – @inappropriatefangirlneeds on Tumblr
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ifn

@inappropriatefangirlneeds / inappropriatefangirlneeds.tumblr.com

Following from my Main: inappropriateheadquarters                              N o r m a n R e e d u s T o m H i d d l e s t o n S u p e r n a t u r a l    G o t h a m              R a u l E s p a r z a & .. ──────────         This is a secondary tumblr, so i can not follow (back) with my "ifn" account, but I do with the primary one. Please do not hesitate to message or tag me! Anything really! (If I do no reply or answer I probably did not get the message, please tell me!) 33, ifn
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3 ships: today is a ZsaszXJim mood, Kylux,  AdarXGrugzûk

First ever ship: I honestly don´t know, I wish my memory was better ZoroXSanji? There gotta be another one argh

Last song: uhm Dana Dentata Daddy Loves You for Adar reasons 

Last movie: gotta have been another one but the one I remember is Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter (2012) cause Gil-Galad and Adar (just 3 seconds) are in there, and it was actually fun but just cause I was so lucky to get to watch it with @inkinmytea

Currently reading: too much on tolkien lore online, while I probably should just (re)read tolkien (but also that man had no taste /j black speech is awesome AF)

Currently watching: just finished the 3rd Season of Star Trek Discovery this week #emotions but also #eh

Currently consuming: Water (ugh for being healthyish)

Currently craving: proficiencies beyond human capability and comprehension

Tagging (only if you want to of course): @honestmrdual @sketch-riddle  @owlettica @inkinmytea and you! 

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I got tagged by the wonderful @honestmrdual​. Thank you! I don´t think I´ve ever heard  IAMX´s “Little Deaths” .. until now and I´m glad that changed :D   Last Song:  Go_A "Shum"  Live at ESNS 2022

Last Film:  The Countess (2009) [Edit: btw its on yt watch?v=Q39R9-1yMLc]  aaaaand it annoys me, but also fascinates me, they are partially doing an ambiguous “Was Erzsébet Báthory framed? Is it all lies whats said about her crimes?” thing but simultaneously showing her commit murders, but there´s also still framing and slander and machinations going on ... and it annoys me, cause while this concept might sound like it could lend to something nuanced and complex it just doesn´t (at least it does not feel like that for me) .. it just annoys me to no end [even if I try to put aside all thoughts about histroy, just try to see it as the fiction it is and not bother that the movie still just blatantly perpetuates the idea that she was committing murder]  also I can not figure out if I´m just not appreciating a well written, well rounded “strong” character with fierceness and flaws, skills and weaknesses but the way they have the countess so often be just “lovesick teen mode” “peak vanity, oh no a wrinkle on my skin, of course I´m not loved (while ignoring love she is getting)” does annoy me .. or does it annoy me that this is what her adversaries prey upon and they end up succeeding? ... I don´t know .. buuuut I´m annoyed and don´t know where to put my thoughts  (( .. also her savagely roasting the bishop.. was that a good scene with eloquence and confidence? or not? why am I getting at least 3% girlboss posturing vibes from it ?!))   on the bright side: some of the dresses are fantastic, some of the acting is mesmerizing, and there are a few moments of neat cinematography  (like when we hear a character speaking voice over, the screen shows the back of the countess, sitting on a bench in front of the fireplace .. the camera slowly approaches her and if you look closely you see that she´s not alone but only when the voiceover goes “... after I was assured of her affair with count  Vizakna” does Dominic Vizakna raise his head from her lap and you got both of them in the picture)

Currently watching: Guess it´s still Star Trek Discovery and what I actually kinda anticipated is currently in the midst of unfolding .. I really loved Lorca on screen & always will and I miss him dearly but Pike is just wonderful and I´m not actively missing Lorca while watching just generally :D ... it´s like John Sheridan and Jeffrey Sinclair again  :D (except that I´ve less issue with how they wrote Jeff out of the picture ^^) 

Current obsession: I´m still somewhat in this weird transitional limbo of no particular obsession really sticking currently, and curious about which one finally will :D 

Tagging: You! If you see this and want to do this!

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Last film - one I did not plan to watch but stumbled upon on yt and got stuck with:  “Fabrik der Offiziere” (1960)  It´s a pretty much a whodunit in a military school during WWII, that´s in the end (figuratively and literally) not so much about the murder. (And I can´t recommend it in terms of historic perspective on WWII but for a perspective of the 60´s view on WWII) 

Currently watching - the inescapable demise of idk it feels like everything but jokes aside guess that´s Star Trek Discovery, old school TV recordings style (*),  but that´s the one show I can say I´ve seen with somewhat of a regularity, kinda really want to get back on track with Babylon 5 though (* and I´m not sure if it´s the dub, different circumstances, seeing the first season the second time or all of it combined that kinda made it feel different) 

Current obsession - I´m somewhat in this weird transitional limbo of no particular obsession really sticking currently, and curious about which one finally will 

Tagging: no one today cause with the last I got no “return” and I really don´t want to be a bother but  whoever sees this and wants to share their recent interests! Do it and tag me! 

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Thank you so much for the tag @sunlitroom! The pictures with the dancers are so expressive, and it feels like those magic lightning bolts could indeed do their workings ... also I´m left wondering if that one picture is on a ship or the window of a train next to some water I´m out of moods currently it seems, or rather there´s too much of them and I can´t nail one down, but my fingertips always tingle when it gets to tinkering around with pictures, and there is that post ESC void happening currently aaand I´ve watched some star trek ... so somehow heeeere we are ;D  (With Alvan from Eurovision Song Contest 2022 France´s Alvan & Ahez, Ash Tyler from Star Trek Discovery and Narek from Picard, from which I´ve still only seen about 3 eps)

I´m totally out of the loop with tagging, if you see this and want to create some mood board and/or aesthetic thingie & please do and tag me in it! 

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slashsunrise
Anonymous asked:

🎶new tag game put your 3 favorite songs at the moment and tag 5 people 🎶

1. Women- Def Leppard

2. I Want You (She’s So Heavy)- The Beatles

3. Babe I’m Gonna Leave You- Led Zeppelin

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Thank you @bonky-n-steeb for the tag.

Top 3? This is hard 🙈 at the moment

1. Bad Romance - Lady Gaga

2. Finish Line - Skillet

3. Bohemian Rhapsody - Queen 👑

No pressure tags:

Thank you for thinking of me @saiyanprincessswanie here we go:

1. Tonight I Climbed The Wall - Alan Jackson

2. I Cross My Heart - George Strait

3. Play Me The Waltz of The Angels - Joey & Rory Feek.

Thanks for the tag.

1. Ahead by a Century by the Tragically Hip

2. Ophelia by The Lumineers

3. The Best by Tina Turner

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cherienymphe

Industry Baby by lil nas x

Tia tamera by doja cat

West coast by Lana del rey

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littlefreya

Thank you @cherienymphe 😍🖤

1. Low roar - I’ll keep coming

2. type o negative - love you to death

3. Journey - don’t stop believing

Tagging:

Thanks for the tag @littlefreya

1. Do I wanna know - Arctic Monkeys

2. Don’t Stop Me Now - Queen

3. Shallow - Lady Gaga & Bradley Cooper

Thanks for the tags @sillyrabbit81

1. Hold Me In Your Arms - Pixie Lott

2. Heartbeat - Steps

3. Sing Me Home - Lady A

1) At the Speed of Force - Justice League Soundtrack

2) Mr Know it All - Kelly Clarkson

3) Steam - Peter Gabriel

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gearhead66

Thank you @marytudorbrandon 🥰

  1. Teenagers - My chemical Romance
  2. Back from the dead - Halestorm
  3. A grave mistake - Ice Nine Kills
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saldelys

Thnx @gearhead66 😘

Here are mine.

“ Far From Home” ~ Five Finger Death Punch

“ Don‘t break the Heart” ~ Tom Grennan

“ DiE4u” ~ Bring me the Horizon

Ladies ya turn

Thank you sunshine😘 @saldelys

My pick would be:

Måneskin- La paura del buio

Kaleo- Skinny

Ckay ft El grande toto- love nwantiti

Thanks love @peachyboneless 💞

  • Ava Adore - The Smashing Pumpkins
  • Stressed Out - 21 Pilots
  • Kriminal Tango - Nina Hagen & Michael von der Heide
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jackson--t

Thanks my dear @youbloodymadgenius ❤🖤 I couldn’t really decide, it was so hard. 😄

  1. Sigur Ros - The Nothing Song
  2. Anna Loos - My Truth
  3. Michael Jackson - Black or White

I could have chosen 1 Million more songs I listen to daily… but yeah. 😁 Thats my current good mood stuff.

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niishiki

Thanks @jackson–t for tagging!

1. Burn the Witch - Shawn James

2. Fremen - Kyo

3. Bleak December - Set it off

Thank you @niishiki!

1) Cobrastyle - Teddybears

2) Fight Back - NEFFEX

3) And then I dreamt of yes - Dandy Warhols

Okay, it’s been three or so hours, If I ab•so•lute•ly HAD to, it would be these three. Only because I see them being played in the background during the death scene in my biopic.

Under the Milky way ✧ The Church

Tapedeck ✧ Silver sun Pickups

Something to remember me by ✧ The Horrors

This was not an easy decision.

added because it me

Edit: omfg I answered and didn’t tag anyone, I was so blinded by trying to choose songs I didn’t choose people (╥﹏╥)

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owlettica

AAAHHH!!!! First things first: I gotta thank the always lovely and h3lla bad-&ss @mexican-texican who tagged me so YAY! ❤️ And yeesh. 🎶 My 3 fave songs at the moment? 🎶 I’m just gonna randomly pick 3 songs that inspired me to get writing again and are driving a lotta my current content:

(And hey, if mexican-texican gotta bonus round then I think I should too, ‘cause honestly y’all! Just 3 songs?!)

And hmm… who to tag? How ‘bout @inappropriatefangirlneeds @belathora @stillsupersherwholocked @fara-daze @rhavewellyarnbag But only if they wanna play along of course. 🖤✌🏼Lovin’ y’all and MEANIN’ IT!!!

Thank you for the Tag!!!! @owlettica​ ..... Sopor are so haunting ... at times even just that bit too much haunting and I respect that music so much for it ^^  I´m oddly having no strong songs of the moment but there´s certainly one I gotta go with now ... the Graaaves one:  1. “21st Century Cure” -  Repo!The Genetic Opera 2. “Toy Box” - Insane Clown Posse  3. “Waters of Ain” -  Watain  Tagging (but only if you want to of course): @sunlitroom    @ianbealecrying @littlehollyleaf @seltsamkind @thatghoulboi @reaperwalking @lordpennyworth @phoenixblack89

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I’m considering a full SPN rewatch.

I haven’t seen a single episode in 5 years, and I’m 4 seasons late (I stopped at S11 because S12 wasn’t out at the time I was streaming the show, and I didn’t get back to it when it aired).

I know the nostalgia will feel good, but I’m afraid it will be too much emotionally. I mean, seeing them again, as literal BABIES, knowing how their story ends? Especially Dean’s? It breaks my heart and makes me cry before even getting started.

What should I dooooooo

I´m also missing a bunch of the later episodes but starting right at Season 1 has been going well for me. [I joined the @spn-thursdays rewatch on discord, and when I didn´t attend one of the time slots I was so lucky to have a wonderful person that chat watched the episode of that week with me =) ]  Seeing especially early Dean also has helped me a great deal getting over the finale. That´s the character I fell in love with and the show I fell in love with and both are still there! They are still wonderful and nothing that happens later can change that.  Of course I don´t know if that´s what it will be like for you, but for me it was not a bad choice to jump into the nostalgia again =) 

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I got tagged by the amazing @sunlitroom to list my favourite characters from ten different fandoms and to tag ten people.   Thank you!  🖤 And I guess I could simply just sign this whole list (with the sole exception of  Robert Romano whom I do not know) but Norrington! I think I saw the same post about his role in the narrative ^^ (Fanon)Hux!!!! Lex deserved better! And Kira! indeed! (Oddly the first time watching when junger I liked Dax more but in later years I´ve found so much appreciation for Kira and how she was written [Edit: not implying that it´s an either or ^^]  Frederick & Oswald are pure perfection of course and I really loved the breakdown of their characters!!!  I´m challenging myself to not repeat characters, also to not repeat characters I named in the past, and I´m afraid this is not going to be as interesting and well thought out ... I´m going more by vague mood currently ^^ 

1. Dean Winchester (Supernatural) Idkn anymore but he just makes me happy, okay. Not to say I´m not critical and vocal about things he did I don´t approve of. But also look at him. 

2. Victor Zsasz (Gotham) Is it his mysterious creepy, dorky self on the show or the myriads of possible headcanons I´ve attached to this muffin? Probably Both. 

3. Qyburn (Game of Thrones) Continuing on the wave of scary and creepy. Just love what Anton Lesser did with the character (wish the last season had given him better material to work with though) but I´d honestly just love to learn about stuff and things from that man and he´s so adorably soothing I might forget about the ethics issues. 

4. Roronoa Zoro (One Piece)  I really want to know what he´s up to now, I haven´t watched any episodes in ages but his early episodes are love. Straightforward no bullshit attitude but a heart in the right place and knows how important sleep is? Works for me!

5. Garak (Deep Space 9)  Self explanatory 

6. Faustus Blackwood (Chilling Adventures of Sabrina) I have not followed much plot, I am vaguely aware he gets into lovecraftian stuff which probably speaks for him (for once) but honestly .... he needs to be punched right in the face, he´s awful but he´s awful in a way that´s so neat to watch, the posture, the impertinence, the nails <3 

7. H.M. "Howling Mad" Murdock (The A-Team) On paper this character sounds so annoying but he isn´t. They just danced on the fine lines of crazy and caring. I keep catching old episodes on TV lately and I just sink into them, it´s easy and it has that warm reassurance that good will prevail and despite that “simplicity” they also tacked a few nice character arcs that give Murdock depth. You can rely on him, he´s always motivated and cooking something up with that wonderfully creative mind. Honestly I do want Murdock in my life. 

8. Tara Maclay (Buffy) Staying in the vein of we need more of that in this world. Just kindness and non judgmental acceptance.That´s enough to warrant a “fave”.  I came across her chara and attached meta a couple times lately and it made me want to rewatch the show. I vaguely recall not liking her that much the first go as a character I guess, but Tara as a person is just remarkable. 

9.  Karl Ruprecht Kroenen (Hellboy) Whoops, back to creepy and vaguely mysterious. He´s just got that eerie oh no things will turn horrible now factor that´s just wonderful on screen, he moves well (like I was not surprised to read the actor had a background in dance) and makes me want to read the comics. 

10. G’Kar (Babylon 5)  Uh I should not list him today that character arc deserves a proper paragraph, which is not happening today but just G´kar ..... 

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justgotham
I don’t have much bts footage from the first 2 episodes, but I wanted to share this. I don’t think people realize how much our work as actors really affects us as humans… This is from my first day of season 5, after filming the suicide-attempt scene.  (Shout out to Colleen)

Via: Twitter

ah this is breaking my heart, the episode was so hard to watch, but I´m trying to focus on the “good” here that was some incredibly stunning acting 

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An example of Dean’s self-awareness, another indicator of a high emotional IQ. He isn’t allergic to feelings, he just chooses carefully when, and with whom, to share them.
Devil’s Trap, 1.22
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squirrelsan

The moments where Dean bears his soul like this are manifold and often understated. He resists being bullied into it, which somehow gets interpreted as “Dean doesn’t talk about his feelings.” And yet, there are so many instances of him doing exactly that. Of him offering to listen to others talk about theirs. Of him being comforting or encouraging when they do.

[“resists being bullied into it”] that hits too close home ^^ something to work on, It´s great that there is more emphasis on mental health, communication and opening up about emotions but I have the impression that sometimes this can have more of a performative quality instead of a genuine one? Like it´s about being that great kind, helpful person ... but if others don´t react in the expected way or need a different kind of help than the person had in mind (eg. said scenery of talking about ones feelings) there´s suddenly a lack of understanding and kindness. “Talk to me about your feelings” comes not so much as an offer but more of a demand. Sometimes there´s a quite narrow idea of what moments of communication should look like, what should be said, how it should be said, how things should go down and who should be grateful .. and if it doesn´t fit that script some people don´t recognize when there´s a character that´s actually being considerate and reflective about a a situation or emotional vulnerability .. ?  

EDIT: Also this post  with gerat meta by @agents-of-fangirling & @tenderdean

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Cas’s treatment of Dean has far too much in common with the way Dean was treated by his father for my tastes; his frequent long absences to go do “more important things”, his unwillingness to trust Dean’s judgement, his making of huge decisions that affect those close to him without telling those people (let alone explaining wtf is going on), his relying heavily on a more vulnerable person (angel/human, adult/child) for his own emotional needs, and the emotional blackmail effect of “I sacrificed everything for you” when that person did not ask for him to do so.

bless you for this post!  The last part is getting me especially, you can´t outsource your own decisions, either you want to help then do good but don´t put a price tag on it, sure recognition and thanks would be great to get but if you just go on your own ideas of what a person needs or wants you can´t expect that they first of all agree on it and furthermore if they had agreed to pay the price you put on your help, (and guilt trips are a high one) 

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If I were a month, I’d be : July, (I might actually appreciate another one more but I´m inevitably gravitating towards July because it historically was one filled with the least anxiety for me)

If I were a flower, I’d be: technically not a flower but I´m still choosing to be a fern, some worm fern  (cause I can´t presume to be so awesome as moss if it has to be a flower one in the colour of a rich blue Rittersporn)

If I were an album, I’d be : hmm I might just say Watain “Lawless Darkness” more or less just because of one song but it can´t quite be the right one because I immediately feel the need to put a disclaimer here that I do in fact value the concept of law and some rules 

If I were a mineral, I’d be :  Archerite .. just kidding hm on top of my head I´d be somewhere with Sulfur, Lazurite maybe Malachite but I went down the wiki hole and I stopped at  Kyanite but I don´t know if I vibe with it ... same with some others and also I didn´t have Gypsum on the radar as mineral but can I identify with such a useful, impactful thing .. probably not, so I might settle for  Murdochite: took a while to figure out what the heck it is (structure and formula were described differently initially) and some surface googling doesn´t come up with any apparent use for it

If I were a sound, I’d be :  the absence of sound

If I were a colour, I’d be :  black or transparent or .. somewhere around Pantone 2139 C ... some grayish blue or blueish grey

If I were a drink, I’d be :  tea that sat so long on the counter it´s cold now, drink drinks .. maybe a Mojito

If I were a fruit, I’d be : redcurrant would be nice

If I were a quote, I’d be :  okay I keep nixing quotes on the grounds of geeeeez will you lighten up for once .. I think I can settle for “Our thoughts form the universe. They are always important.” (G´kar/Babylon5) (Another disclaimer: Important as in having impact not as in all of them are ultimately “valid” and “good”.) I think that one goes well with me gravitating towards  Discourse analysis.

If I were a television series, I’d be : Idk one cancelled before aired 

If I were a movie, I’d be : I keep thinking Pan´s Labyrinth and kinda nooo but also I don´t always agree with myself so maybe that .. I don´t really stand behind that choice though ^^ 

If I were a fashion brand, I’d be :  I really do not want to be a fashion brand, 

If I were a mythological creature, I’d be :  maybe your garden variety swamp monster that´s not really doing anything monstrous, ...or an ouroboros ?

If I were a taste, I’d be : I´m afraid bitter ...  or basil? metallic tang? lemon cake? 

If I were a scent, I’d be : charred, burnt wood; smoke  

If I were a fabric, I’d be :  linen waiting to be turned into a linothorax

If I were a body part, I’d be :  a single strand of long hair, probably already fallen out of the follicle and detached from the head

If I were a song, I’d be : Watain - Waters of Ain

If I were a god/goddess, my four attributes would be :  caution, context, integrity, kindness (at least if I get to choose if it´s up to mortals to pick those it probably would be another list)

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“You tried to kill me.” “Oh. Is that all?“  (Jim Gordon, Edward Nymga | Gotham 5x06 | Resistance is futile pt2)

@inappropriatefangirlneeds i love your gifs so much, you always do such an amazing job capture the close ups of each scene 👏👏👏

I slightly feel bad because I liked this with the intention of replying but it got buried in my likes for ages.. but then again this meant that I got another whole boost of serotonin when I found it today 😊 Thank you @edward-nygma-is-my-addiction for making my day(s) with your kind words! I really appreciate the comment!!!  💚💜 💚💜 💚💜

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soluscheese

Locket at the Bottom of the Sea

Congratulations, @inappropriatefangirlneeds! Here’s your prize for winning the Gif-a-Thon!

Buy on Society6 or Redbubble!

Now that is a treasure that should not be lost in the depths of the Sea. Thank you @soluscheese! I love the colour scheme *.* 

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hazeldomain

Not to make this into a class commentary or anything but isn’t crazy that Dean realized he’s “more than a killer” precisely long enough to spare a powerful white man who directly murdered billions?

Exactly.

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eyeldritch

I can't believe I'm going to say this but Buckl*ming literally showed better continuity and a better understanding of Dean's character than D*bb. I'm not sure it was really intentional or not, but Dean refusing to kill Chuck after this entire season and more importantly after what Cas told him was just logical. It made fucking sense.

And then 15x20 came and said, "character development? never heard of her. "

Yeah. Like Dean saying “I’m more than a killer” could have transitioned beautifully into his realization that it’s not his responsibility to save every persona on Earth, he can let other people do the hunting and actually live his own life, the one he wants, and be happy. 

Instead 20 has our new “not a killer” explaining that no, I’m definitely going to kill you, you just get to decide whether it’s fast or slow. Like I love to see the boys being badasses but if there was a clearer way to mark the episode as ‘character development erasure speedrun’ I don’t know what it would have been. 

I wasn´t sure whether to put up a new post  but I might have to work through something surrounding this killer & letting Chuck live question ^^°  If a (slightly) different perspective isn´t something anyone on this post wants to read pls ignore me  I absolutely always hated the trope of some action hero slicing or shooting through masses of underlings (that maybe even are just there to just get by) and then proclaiming that they are oh so great and honorable for letting the person live that has all the influence and resources to orchestrate whatever evil was going on... 100% horrible  but, I kinda feel like Chuck & other Monsters is a bit of a different case? Chuck was powerless (and I´m sure if he picked up a gun an made trouble they´d reconsider the letting him live thing) the Vampire was in the midst of a killing spree [[[ And I know the show touched upon the not murderous monster thing every now and then, just not really in depth imho .. but also I think with the Kitsune Dean made the wrong call .. and there might be something to say about ... how about filling up the Men of Letters Prisons before killing them, or setting up rehabilitation programs or some more structural change ;D  but .. let´s say that´s not helping the children and their families that got targeted right that moment ]]] so it was a matter of getting rid of an active threat

and I haven´t had the impression that the Cas & Dean scene was not so much about the act of killing/murder? Don´t get me wrong I do wholeheartedly believe that Dean wanted more from life than the hunter lifestyle and I´d give a lot to have seen that happen but what I got from Cas words was not only a reassurance for Dean but also a validation of the life he led including the killing: “Everything you have ever done the good and the bad you have done for love” (15x18) I felt it was also targeted at Dean feeling like / having the impression people around him die, get injured etc. and Cas is saying that´s not on him, the difficult choices he´s had to make he made for the right reasons. And mostly I feel like there´s a difference here between “Dean doesn´t kill” and “Dean is not a killer”. Killing monsters that would kill others aka. “saving lives with murder” .. is something Dean does, and something Cas also values him for but it´s not what defines him, it´s not who he is, it´s certainly not what he would do, if he “could”. He is not a killer in the sense that this is something he wants to do or seeks to do, or the only thing he can do and the only thing he puts out into the world but the capability to put that “burden” on himself is still a part of him  It´s the part that often is visible, and that often seems to define him but Cas saw more, it´s not like he didn´t see that but that he saw beyond and behind it and helped Dean do the same.  Like “he´s more than a killer” but also that too ... ^^  So I don´t think that going back to hunting aka.saving humans from monsters is too out of line after this development ....? If any of this makes sense? ... but yeah I´d have very much wished for a different life for Dean Winchester

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fellshish

Some people like dean getting killed by a rusty nail because “that’s just what life really is like” in the way that your death comes unexpected and sometimes in a dumb way.

But i have difficulty seeing the beauty in that. Because real life really is not about fighting vamp mimes and getting shoved onto a “rebar”. But mostly because supernatural is NOT real life. It’s an epic story about good vs evil that has biblical ambitions. And dean is its hero. A good storyteller wouldn’t do this to their epic hero.

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raina16

Right?  Don’t give me that realistic crap.  This show is SUPERNATURAL, there’s nothing realistic about it about the whole main premise of the show.  

And there is nothing beautiful about a character dying when they are finally going to have a chance to LIVE. It’s ugly.  It’s cruel.  It’s spiteful.

Right Riiight?!!  I actually do love an expectations defying “shit happens”. Like Game of Thrones did with Khal Drogo. Mighty warrior dies of an infection, even one that was 100% preventable, didn´t even happen in a fight but due to posturing. In that show and plotline this was really impactful and “what life really is like”  But as you two have pointed out that ain´t Supernatural. People with all kinds of injuries and worse get healed by angels left and right, people even get healed by angels with not all that much grace, people survive all kinds of stuff that would probably kill someone irl without angelic aid, people get brought back from all kinds of places that are not life ... repeatedly ...  some people even have a probably almighty nephilim that cares about them .... 

ending all this on a “””realistic”” note does neither add up nor does it make sense, and it for sure is not satisfying in any way or adding anything of value  

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So ....... the Supernatural finale and mental health ..? 

I remember quite some great meta interpreting Dean Winchester as being suicidal so I´ll try to keep this short but we´re talking about a character introduced as  “daddy’s little soldier” with him and others thinking his life as expendable.  It´s “easier” to sacrifice your own life or put it on the line when you believe you don´t deserve it and when you think life has not all that much to offer for you.  But life could have had all and everything to offer to Dean Winchester after defying Chuck and his narrative!  Why did the writers decide to give such a character “nothing” of this but death instead?  There´s certainly a couple traits of Dean I relate to a bit too much so the finale felt oddly personal. I´ve always been very careful about not letting any shows and fictional media affect my mental health and that actually was something I was rather good at, I did manage to do that ... until yesterday really had me shook. And while being less emotional about it by now this is still very much making rounds in my head.  15x20 just really “validated” some of the worst voices in my head. 

Why did it have to be death? Why did it have to be dying is “okay” and even “good”?  Do I just have to wait for my rusty nail to be okay? Will it never be okay cause this is reality and there is no Cas and Jack and no Heaven?

It is great that they changed heaven into a “good” place, comforting and reassuring but why couldn´t life be just that as well?  That´s what they always fought for, for other people and for themselves. Hunting things means nothing without saving people. People who get to have a life and lead it. In the end they even confronted Chuck in order to fight for control over their own narrative: They fought for not only having a life but being able to lead their lives ... why not let Dean do just that?  Heaven could have waited for Dean Winchester.

They even showed that there was joy in his life. Even in the little things: He was excited about the pie event and even about the shiny shuriken, about saving some kids from VampMimes Ninja style ....  Think about the Winchesters not trying to bring back Castiel, or Cas already back and refurbishing Heaven while not even saying “Hi” to them what you will (to put it politely) but at least when Sam Winchester addresses Cas we get a message that gave me HOPE“You know what? That pain's not gonna go away. Right?  But if we don't keep living, then all that sacrifice is gonna be for nothing. So quit being a friggin' Eeyore,”  

Dean said ”I have no other choice. This is my destiny.” about the 43rd Annual Akron Pie Fest. How did this turn into Dean dying with a metal rod in his back saying:  “You knew it was always gonna end like this for me. It's okay. It's okay. It's good. It's good.” ?!  

...... no it isn´t. ?!

[Edit: I´m ok, I just I´d really like to hear some other perspectives and opinions on this, is this an issue? One of the many of  “Carry On” ?]

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