Ramblings of a divided mind

Brain divided

Tugging at the seams

Different ghosts call out to me

In the echoes of my dreams

My head feels on fire

So much chatter

So much noise

I fall into the cracks

Sinking deep into the void

Why do I cast so many shadows?

I am one

The only one!

I think...

I hope...

If I am the only one

Then who bangs upon the door?

Endless thumping fists of drums

Begging voices

Plea and shout

Muffled cries of "Let us out!"

I shut my eyes

Cover my ears

If I can't hear

They'll disappear

In my fist I find a key

I locked them up

The prison guard was me

No no no no no

This cannot be

I am one

The only one!

"No you're not!"

They yell and scream

I am whole

I am complete

Is that why I often feel

Like a drifting puzzle piece?

I'm complete

Yet I have no idea who I see

When the stranger in the mirror

Stares back at me

Voices in the void

Do you know me?

Are you the missing threads

Of my inner tapestry?

Are the apparitions I fight

My long lost family?

Slowly I remember

It trickles back to me

I'm one of many

Struggling inside one tortured body

Battered

Shattered

Scattered across the dark universe

Of her mind

Hidden and hurting

Beneath and bleeding

I grew a garden over a graveyard

And every single corpse is mine

Every stranger I see is me

Brain divided

Tugging at the seams

Reunited

Restored harmony

Release from your hand

The jailer's key

Don't lock them up

For if they're free, you're free

Final Fusion (a reflective poem)

So we became I

And I’m not sure how I feel 

It’s so quiet in my head 

Like I’m sitting at a table 

Full of my closest mates 

And now all the seats are empty 

And there’s only one dinner plate 

But as I walk down the hallways 

Of my mind 

I see bits and pieces of the fragments 

That weren’t really left behind 

I never lost we 

We just collided 

This whole time we were separated 

Dissected limbs of a body 

Trying to find their way back to whole 

And through healing our trauma 

We found our way back home 

We still exist 

In my joys and interests

Every aspect of my identity 

Is a collage of all the parts of Me 

When we shattered 

We forgot we were a team 

We lost the memory 

That we were once a Me

There’s only one voice in my head now 

But one voice doesn’t mean one color

For I is a rainbow 

Many together as one 

Healing didn’t disband the team 

Healing created harmony 

We no longer struggle for control 

We no longer battle for the wheel 

For we all work together 

In unison 

Connected limbs 

Of final fusion 

And I love and thank 

Every part of Me

They did their best 

To help this body survive 

Pain split us apart 

Yet we always had the same goal

To keep this soul alive 

A soul shattered 

Scattered 

Found its way back together 

An internal family reunion 

That can now last forever