WHY DID I EVER START WATCHING GREY'S ANATOMY?

           Okay.  Before I say anything, if you're like me and you didn't start watching this show till now or still haven't but plan to, do not READ because it does contain spoilers. (5 year old spoilers that is)

But I finished season 5 two days ago, and I still not over George's death.  I. Am, Still. Not. Over. It.  And when I say I'm not over it, it's not just fangirl talk for "aw, this is so sad", I mean I AM NOT OVER IT.  I mean, my heart literally aches, not figuratively.  I mean, I think about this damn character pretty much all day.  I mean, I can't watch a tribute to his character on Youtube without crying.  I know I am overreacting, he is JUST an actor, and George is JUST a character, but not to me, and my emotions don't understand the difference apparently. 

First of all, he was my favorite character.  Since day one, he was my favorite.  I relate to his awkwardness, sweetness, underdog status, and he's just a sweet heart.  He's so selfless and kind, he freaking died saving someone else's life! And since I have the worst luck, the character that gets killed off has to be my favorite.  It wasn't even gracefully done, they didn't build up to it, he was dragged along by a damn bus for a block.  And what irks me the most, George never found what he was looking for.  He STILL felt like he wasn't enough, he felt like he wasn't good at anything, he had drifted apart from Izzie, Lexie, and even Callie and was just there, alone and sad.  And the writer's decide to just kill him off like that?  It was not fair to the character and the fans of the show.

I will never get over this, and I can't continue watching this amazing show.  It won't be the same without him.  I was reading that TR Knight actually wanted an early termination to his contract, and had a contract for 3 more seasons, so it seems a little fishy to me that he wanted to leave.  He probably didn't feel comfortable in the show, and that makes me ever sadder.  In my honest opinion, if they wanted to do away with the character they should have just sent him to the army, it would have felt a lot better in my head.

I know i'm rambling but WHY!?!? I was in tears because I thought Izzie was the one that was going to die, and I was somewhat prepared to her passing away.  She got the chance to say her goodbyes, talk to her mom, get married and be happy.  So I was okay with her dying.  But instead, they kill George just like that.  He wasn't even in the finale that much.  He didn't say goodbye.  They should have at LEAST had him say his goodbyes when he was gonna join the army and then have him die.