@imagineagreatadventure / imagineagreatadventure.tumblr.com
2010. A Japanese woman sits down to take photos of her shiba inu dog for her blog. Suddenly, a man leaps out of a time portal. "Sorry, I can't let you do this. I cannot tell you why." She asks: "Is it forbidden knowledge from the future?" He sighs: "No, it's just too fucking stupid to explain."
While the Onion buying InfoWars is indeed extremely funny, very few of the posts I've seen commenting on the sale have mentioned that the families of the Sandy Hook victims apparently agreed to voluntarily reduce their lawsuit payout as part of a deal to ensure that the Onion would acquire InfoWars wholesale, rather than having the company broken up and auctioned off piecemeal, as the latter course could potentially have allowed some of those pieces to end up back in the hands of Alex Jones' cronies.
Like, yes, it is in fact very funny that InfoWars is now a wholly owned subsidiary of the Onion, but the real props go out to the Sandy Hook families who saw the opportunity and willingly gave up the additional millions of dollars that could have been realised by stripping InfoWars for parts in order to make that happen.
(EDIT: Fixed a sentence incorrectly suggesting that Clickhole is still affiliated with the Onion – it totally slipped my mind that they'd sold it back in 2020.)
(There is a lot more. Rather than give you all the images, I've copied the full text below.)
Bran doodle dump
For Armistice Day / because things generally are bad, I wrote a hopeful coda of a WWI AU. Featuring such cheery snippets as:
“Will you promise not to forgive me merely because I survived?” “I will do no such thing.”
...hopeful-ish.
Since we're getting into "did you know that Santa's eight tiny reindeer are a reference to the eight legs of Odin's steed?" season once again, remember: while there are some elements of Christmas (or Hallowe'en, or Easter, or...) observations that are probably pre-Christian in origin, before one believes any of that this-is-really-100%-just-a-Pagan-holiday-with-the-serial-numbers-filed-off stuff, one must consider all of the following possibilities:
#Also: modern neopagans feeling guilty about christian cultural hegemony eating up point no 5 #while obfuscating / willfully ignoring just who is feeding that narrative and why #your legitimate beef with institutional christianity does not justify leaning into anti-christianism that is rooted in antisemitismmmmmm (via @screambirdscreaming)
Babygirl I know fandom history that you wouldn’t even care about
i know fandom history that even I don’t care about
tumblr is, if anything, the Appalachia of social media...easy to get lost, sparsely populated, out of the loop with fast-moving modern trends. Attached to tradition. Close-knit communities. Believe in "talk shit, get hit." Everyone is doing their own thing in their own obscure little holler. Prone to pulling the most inventive turns of phrase you've ever heard out of nowhere. Somebody's always starting a racket. We sometimes repel outsiders with much aggression. Lots of talk about hell and damnation to be found. Everybody tends to forget about us for some reason
What is pirating media but the moonshining of the internet
Hana-Rawhiti Kareariki Maipi-Clarke, the youngest MP in Aotearoa, starts a haka to protest the first vote on a bill reinterpreting the 1840 Treaty of Waitangi
Important to not forget this isn't the only thing happening. The haka disrupting the vote in parliament is supported by nation wide hīkoi of thousands of people on their way to the capital to protest this
If you want to learn about what the proposed bill is that people are protesting and what it would actually mean for the constitution of Aotearoa if it went through...
lindt is being sued in a class action in the united states because they are one of MANY brands of chocolate that tested high for heavy metals. and this is despite lindt claiming their chocolate is "expertly crafted with the finest ingredients". no recall was issued after the tests came out. lead and cadmium can fuck the body over BAD.
lindt's genius defense is that they are going to stop saying the whole thing about being expertly crafted with the finest ingredients, so nobody can complain about the heavy metals in their chocolate anymore! and that makes it okay. source: trust me bro
(now please drop the lawsuit thanks)
consumer reports test results of a bunch of different chocolate brands <- original report being referenced
imagine this. you advertise yourself as "the coolest dude around". your whole persona is being "cool" and "chill". and then one day, you burn someone's house down on purpose. they inevitably sue the shit out of you. and your defense is that you will stop calling yourself "cool" or "chill" so nobody can reasonably expect that you will not set things on fire, because fire is hot, which is the opposite of cool and chill. and therefore everything is fine now and nobody can be mad at you anymore.
that is lindt's defense here.
lucanis and his contract negotiator
Lucanis is gonna unionize Thedas if its the last thing he does.
when e.e. cummings said “i’ll live my life if it kills me”
when andrea gibson said “i suppose i love this life, in spite of my clenched fist.” & when ellen bass said “to love life, to love it even when you have no stomach for it”
when james baldwin said, “this is why one must say yes to life and embrace it wherever it is found-and it is found in terrible places; nevertheless, there it is;”
when Mary Oliver said “it is a serious thing / just to be alive / on this fresh morning / in this broken world”
Things are grim right now but a small silver lining is that The Onion bought Alex Jones's site InfoWars and are going to turn it into "a parody of itself", using it to make fun of conspiracy theorists and far-right nutjobs.
Some context:
In 2012 Alex Jones called the Sandy Hook school shooting a hoax and accused the grieving parents of being "crisis actors". In 2022 the Sandy Hook parents won a defamation suit against him and were awarded more than a billion dollars. Which is what forced Jones to now sell his site at auction.
The Onion won the auction with the backing of the parents. And the proceeds from the purchase will go directly to the parents as part of the damages payout, Alex Jones isn't seeing a dime.
The relaunch of InfoWars is slated for this January. Which would coincide with Trump's inauguration. I bet The Onion have some plans for that.
I’d be unstoppable if I were good at things.
-Lady Catherine de Bourgh (Volume 2, Chapter 8)
Do this four times repeatedly and you’ll be out. But how does it work? There’s some real brain science behind it.
We’re trying this tonight!
It’s about time someone got around to uncovering all the cheat codes for this “human being” software. It’s only been out for like 10,000 years.
?????????????
I’ve used this technique for about a year, and I can safely say that it has efficiently transformed my sleeping habits from several hours of struggle to fall asleep, to passing out in a matter of minutes.
It’s a form of Alexander Technique. It’s a technique that was designed for actors to keep their body in ready working condition and give it the best way to perform. This is the method used to calm, and center the body. Once the body is at that point it can perform anything you want it to.
Reblogging for later reference after I tried it earlier today to try to calm down. It actually does help a lot, not just for sleep but if you have problems with anxiety.
My default mental setting is “vibrating intensely in the background.” After doing this, I felt noticeably calm and relaxed - I wasn’t as fixated on my breathing, I wasn’t tense, my movements weren’t jerky and I didn’t feel like I had to be as tense as possible to be under control. 10/10 would recommend.
me gonna try it
dont wanna reblog but insomnia is a bitch for some ppl so heres for my mutuals having trouble sleeping.
we have fun here in Thedas
