Do No Go Gentle: Donna

Link to song: Donna by the Lumineers

Synopsis: In which Feyre has a business meeting with a potential employer. 

TW: Vague mentions of self-harm and abuse. 

Ao3 Link

Chapter 21: Donna

Rhys

Like fucking clockwork, I woke with the rising sun.

It took less than five minutes to peel out of my sheets and pull some clothes on. Two minutes to down the shot of espresso and munch through an apple in the kitchen. One minute to creep back up the stairs quietly and open that door, just the tiniest slit—

Her figure was slumped to the side, arm dangling off the ledge of the bed. But I could see it, that steady up and down of her chest. Alive. Breathing. Peaceful.

Striking.

Do Not Go Gentle: Everybody Loves You

Link to song: Everybody Loves You by Charlotte Lawrence

Synopsis: An interrogation, and an overall shit night.

TW: Mentions of abuse and self harm. Please, if you’re sensitive to these topics, read with caution.

Ao3 Link

Chapter 20: Everybody Loves You

“The footage shows you being taken away from Spring Corporations by Cassian Noctis. By the looks of it you were sedated, and he carried you down to the parking garage where the getaway car was waiting to transport you. He was aided by Alis Cedarwood, who helped him with the locks and security codes.”

The stainless steel table beneath my forearms was just as cold as the festering emptiness in my bones. I didn’t even look up to detective Hanson as I croaked, “And did you scan the footage twenty minutes before that? When my fiancee was dragging me away from the elevator as I tried to escape?”

“The rest of the footage was blank. Only Mr. Ivy and his associates leaving while you stayed in your office.”

I snorted. Everything felt distorted, like reality was caving in on itself. “Of course he did.”

Do Not Go Gentle Masterlist

Hey everyone! So I’ve posted the entirety of my acotar AU fanfic, Do Not Go Gentle, here on tumblr because I thought some of my followers may want some new fic material. Here’s the masterlist! If you’ve got any questions, comments, snarky remarks, I’d love to hear them all :)

Synopsis: 

Feyre’s life seems to be falling apart before her very eyes: her fiancée is keeping secrets from her, the demons in her past are beginning to haunt her present, and to top it all off, a beautiful stranger just can’t seem to leave her alone at the coffee shop she works in.

But the day she finds tiny packets of pills in her shop’s storage room, Feyre discovers that she is in way, way over her head.

AKA, another modern AU in which Tamlin is a Shady Tool™, Feyre loses her marbles, and Rhys is there to help her every step of the way.

It follows mostly ACOMAF but I’ve taken a bit of liberty in the characters and their storylines for the modern twist. Hope you enjoy it!

Prologue / Chapter 1 / Chapter 2 / Chapter 3 / Chapter 4 / Chapter 5 / Chapter 6 / Chapter 7 / Chapter 8 / Chapter 9 / Chapter 10 / Chapter 11 / Chapter 12 / Chapter 13 / Chapter 14 / Chapter 15 / Chapter 16 / Chapter 17 / Chapter 18 / Chapter 19 / Chapter 20 / Chapter 21

I’ll be updating this as I go! I seriously hope you give it a read, and if you do, hope you enjoy it. Also, if you prefer this format, go check it out on Ao3 here!

Hope you’re all staying happy, safe and healthy with these dreadful times right now, and I’m sending all my love to y’all right now. 

Do Not Go Gentle: Hopeless

Link to song: Hopeless by Halsey

Synopsis: Some fresh air and a little bad news for Feyre and Rhys. 

TW: Mentions of dark thoughts and abuse. Please read with caution. 

Ao3 Link

Chapter 19: Hopeless

“Okay, so this button here is my calendar. It’s all colour coded by level of importance so I ignore the stuff that doesn’t matter and prioritize the things that need my absolute focus.”

Rhys had been teaching me little things here and there about the tasks I’d need to do while working for him, despite the fact that I hadn’t agreed to anything yet. He was meticulous about everything, organized his life to the very minute.

“So what’s this box here in green?”

“That’s Cassian’s appointment with me today. He says it’s to look over possible changes security codes in the building, but I know it’s just to whine to me about his salary being lower than Amren’s.”

“Okay, and this one in red over here?” It read: Extremely important lunch with extremely important person.

“That’s our lunch date tomorrow, darling. Can’t quite miss that, can I?”

Do Not Go Gentle: Red Dust

Link to song: Red Dust (acoustic) by Vincent James McMorrow

Synopsis: Game night for the Inner Circle! What could possibly go wrong?

TW: Mentions of suicide and domestic abuse. Please read with caution.

Ao3 link

Chapter 18: Red Dust

“Another hotel on Pennsylvania avenue, please,” Mor asked sweetly. Sending her daggers with his eyes, Cassian chucked the red piece of plastic at the blonde who added next to the two others.

“Can she even do that?” Rhys demanded, searching the box for an instructions list.

Do Not Go Gentle: Buzzcut Season

Link to song: Buzzcut Season by Lorde (my other absolute fave)

Synopsis: The history of Hybern and Night Industries. 

Ao3 Link

Chapter 17: Buzzcut Season

War.

The word echoed in my mind, and all I could see was his face twisted into that vicious snarl of his.

“Please,” I breathed, “Don’t do it. Not for me. It’s not worth it. He’s not worth it.”

Do Not Go Gentle: Appointments

Link to song: Appointments by Julien Baker

Synopsis: Feyre makes good on her promise to Rhys, and Rhys makes good on his promise to Feyre.

TW: Brief and non-graphic mention of self-harm, suicide and domestic abuse.

Ao3 link

Chapter 16: Appointments

“How are you feeling today, Feyre?”

How was I feeling? I didn’t know. My body felt like TV static with the volume on low. Crackling, bustling, full of nervous energy, but dim. Quiet. How was I supposed to explain that to him without sounding like a true basket case?

Do Not Go Gentle: listen before i go

Link to song: listen before i go by Billie Eilish

Synopsis: If you know this song, you know how Feyre's feeling right now.

Song of the chapter: listen before i go by Billie Eilish Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P4z1O3miesI

TW: Suicidal thoughts, suicidal ideation and suicidal intentions. Please, if you are feeling suicidal or aren't comfortable reading these situations, do not read this chapter. You are never alone. You are loved, and you are cared for. Here are some helplines if you are ever feeling suicidal (both available 24/7/365):

US: 1-800-273-8255 Suicide Crisis Hotline Canada: 1-833-456-4566 Suicide Prevention and Support Canada

Ao3 Link

Chapter 15: listen before i go

Rhys

Prythian, I’d decided, was beautiful no matter the weather. Sun, rain, snow—I loved it all. 

Do Not Go Gentle: Love is Not Enough

Link to song: Love is Not Enough by Wet

Synopsis: Feyre wakes up in an unfamiliar place.

TW: Dark thoughts, mention of abuse, mention of self-harm, psychological abuse/trauma

Ao3 link

Chapter 14: Love is Not Enough

When I woke up, it felt like I was underwater. Still breathing, still seeing, still hearing everything around me…but distorted. Distant. The bed felt unfamiliar beneath me, and I realized I had no recollection of where I was, how I got here, whose scent was on these sheets—

I started in the bed, panic squeezing my heart as I sat straight up. The room was completely unfamiliar with its limited decor, dark walls and large window overlooking the city. Where we’d gone, I had no clue; I’d passed out shortly after in the car, curled into Rhys amidst my self-destruction.

Tamlin.

Do Not Go Gentle: Twenty Twelve

Link to song: Twenty Twelve by Matt Maeson (my babe)

Synopsis: Another dark and twisty bend in Feyre’s life.

TW: Mention of physical/emotional abuse, domestic abuse, self-harm and dark thoughts. If you're sensitive to these topics, please read with caution.

Ao3 Link

Chapter 12: Twenty Twelve

“You need to get off the couch.”

I dragged my eyes up to meet Lucien’s. (That movement alone was enough to tire me). He was staring at me, arms crossed, contempt making his muscles contract beneath his button down. I knew him being here was a sacrifice. Tamlin didn’t like him leaving the office. But he did so, most lunch times. I think it’d been Alis that sent him after me after she noticed I’d been docile for over two weeks now. The only fresh air I’d gotten was sips of it in the morning when I went to the balcony.

I never stayed long, though. Too tempting.

He’d cook for me and I wouldn’t eat it. He’d sit with me, talk into the open—it was fruitless, as I only had eyes for the TV, or for sleep. But he came every day, nonetheless.

“I’m tired.”

Do Not Go Gentle: when the party’s over

Link to song: when the party’s over by Billie Eilish (ma queen)

Synopsis: Feyre says fuck it. 

TW: Emotional abuse, non-con near the end, brief mention of physical abuse, dark thoughts. Please, if you're sensitive to the topics, read with caution.

Ao3 Link

Chapter 11: when the party’s over

Relapses come slowly.

They don’t happen overnight: you don’t go to sleep one evening and wake up the next morning with your brain scrambled and fried with darkness and shadows. It doesn’t hit like a wave or a bullet or blunt impact.

Do Not Go Gentle: Grave Digger

Link to song: Grave Digger (stripped) by Matt Maeson (my absolute fave artist)

Synopsis: A wedding. Kind of. 

TW: Violence, domestic abuse, domestic violence, dark thoughts, mention of self-harm and suicidal ideation. 

Ao3 Link

Chapter 10: Grave Digger

The dress was monstrous. When I’d first tried it on, I thought it was a joke. Something Ianthe had picked out to make me laugh. But when I saw the joy and approval in her face, I realized the grave mistake I’d made in even setting foot in the thing. She’d called over the shopkeeper without a moment’s hesitation to announce that we’d made our decision, though I hadn’t even said a thing.

Do Not Go Gentle: Me

Link to song : Me by the 1975

Synopsis: Time jump, pre-wedding jitters. 

TW: depictions of violence (flashbacks)

Ao3 Link

Chapter 9: Me

“Please,” moaned the young man on his knees, “you can’t. Please.”

The metal rattled between my fingers. Sweat coated my palms, and I had to force a breath out through my mouth. To my ears, it sounded like a sob.

Do Not Go Gentle: Dancing After Death

Link to song

Synopsis: More aftermath, someone pays a surprise visit to Feyre.

TW: Dark thoughts. 

Ao3 Link

Chapter 8: Dancing After Death

I was paralyzed.

As I laid in Rhys’s guest room bed beneath the light of the rising sun, I realized that I was paralyzed in my own mind.

Do Not Go Gentle: Mr. Rattlebone

Link to song

Synopsis: Feyre and Rhys deal with the fallout. 

TW:  Blood, trauma, dark thoughts.

Ao3 link

Chapter 7: Mr. Rattlebone

The gun was clutched between my fingers. I couldn’t let it go.

Kneeling in the pool of blood, I clutched the bringer of death as though it were life itself. Blood soaked the clothes on my body, the skin of my face, my shaking hands. It was everywhere. All I kept wondering about was, What are they going to do with the bodies? These people must have had families. Drug pushers or not, there were people out there who cared about them, who loved them, yet I was here, lying in their blood.

And Tamlin was across the country on a business meeting.

Do Not Go Gentle: I Found

Link to song

Synopsis: Trouble brewing in the coffee shop. 

TW: Depictions of violence. 

Ao3 Link

Chapter 6: I Found

Ever so slowly, I raised my hands above my head. The gun was pressed to my skull, but I couldn’t panic. Not now. I just needed to get them out of the shop.

“Now,” the older man ordered. “Hurry up.”

Do Not Go Gentle: Trouble

Link to song

Synopsis: The one where Tamlin figures things out, and Feyre loses everything. 

TW: domestic violence, domestic abuse. Please read with caution.

Ao3 link

Chapter 5: Trouble

I was asleep when Tamlin got home Sunday night. Well, I was ‘asleep’. I’d felt the kiss he pressed to my bare shoulder before rolling over onto his side. Then I stayed up most of the night rethinking all that’d happened in the last few months, wondering how life had gotten this messed up.