it’s okay to want to be in a relationship that involves having sex with your partner(s). it’s not okay to pressure your partner(s) into having sex with you, belittle and degrade them for not wanting to have sex with you, or claim that they are being abusive for not wanting to have sex with you. these two concepts are not mutually exclusive.
if you want to be in a relationship that involves sex then that is 100% okay! there’s nothing inherently wrong with that! but if you find that the person you’ve been dating does not want to have sex, isn’t interested in ever having sex, or isn’t interested in having the kind of sex that you want to have then your options are either to accept it and continue being with them while respecting their boundaries or end the relationship if this incompatibility is a dealbreaker for you. what you don’t get to do, however, is ignore your partner(s)’ boundaries, manipulate and guilt and coerce them into having sex with you, make them feel like less of a person for not wanting sex, and make yourself out to be the victim in the situation by gaslighting them into thinking they’re the ones in the wrong—that isn’t acceptable, that’s abuse.
