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Stucky In The Middle

@ignite-eternal / ignite-eternal.tumblr.com

Yo soy Fandom trash.
Formerly Gleebkam1.
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r4cs0

Kendall grab a Pepsi and get your ass in the car. We gotta go heal Minnesota.

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this local woman who has a tomboy kid reached out to my butch group to see if a few of us wouldn’t mind having brunch with her family and a couple more of the girls tomboy friends, cuz she read that it’s important for your development to have adult versions of “people like you” in your life when you’re growing up. which is definitely true. so we’re going over tomorrow. can you believe that? like, I’m gonna cry.

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casualy

@everyone looking at the moon tonight, we’re all looking at the same moon it’s like a romantic date with millions of us

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hadesisqueer

Historical accuracy! A man was the one who fucked everything up but they still blamed a woman and called her a witch.

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They seriously underutilized Ziggy in Fear Street 3. No reaction when the milkman, the murderer who stabbed her to death 16 years ago comes right up to her and Martin? No reaction when she sees Tommy, her sister's sweet boyfriend turned brutal serial killer who terrorized and slaughtered her and all her friends at camp? Nothing more than "Nick" and "Tag, you're it" when she finally confronts the man who lied to and betrayed her and is responsible for her sister's death, the deaths of countless other people (mostly children) and all the trauma she's dealt with since that night? And when Nick and one of the killers grabs her, all she can do is scream? Ziggy, who wrestled and strangled and fought like hell against Tommy, and who is fiery and passionate and brave and has been proven to be able to handle herself in terrifying situations? MAKE IT MAKE SENSE.

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we did it kids

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temilyrights

criminal minds ladies [insp.]

People can’t handle a woman breaking free of the labels that they’ve used to chain her down.

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How Do Court Reporters Keep Straight Faces? These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place. ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning? WITNESS: He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’ ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you? WITNESS: My name is Susan! _______________________________ ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks. ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active? WITNESS: No, I just lie there. ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth? WITNESS: July 18th. ATTORNEY: What year? WITNESS: Every year. _____________________________________ ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you? WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which. ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you? WITNESS: Forty-five years. _________________________________ ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory? WITNESS: I forget.. ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot? ___________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning? WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam? ____________________________________ ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he? WITNESS: He’s 20, much like your IQ. ___________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken? WITNESS: Are you shitting me? _________________________________________ ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time? WITNESS: Getting laid ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: She had three children , right? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: How many were boys? WITNESS: None. ATTORNEY: Were there any girls? WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney? ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated? WITNESS: By death.. ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated? WITNESS: Take a guess. ___________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual? WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female? WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I’m going with male. _____________________________________ ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney? WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work. ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people? WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight. _________________________________________ ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to? WITNESS: Oral… _________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body? WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time? WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished. ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample? WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question? ______________________________________ And last: ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing? WITNESS: No.. ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor? WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless? WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

oh my god these are great

fuck this is like reading a jokes and not actual quotes

Wow. Turns out I may have what it takes to pass the bar and actually succeed as a lawyer if this is the standard accepted … shit.

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