post-canon wangxian is yunmeng for some reason (maybe dinner with jiang cheng) and while theyre there a big old fight breaks out and when asked "wha happen" the answer is "someone said someone else's soup was shit". while everyone around him is like "oh yeah" lan wangji is having a moment bc the soup drama was not an isolated incident, thats just how it goes in yunmeng
Wei Wuxian is gently touching Lan Wangji’s arm “I’m sorry you had to hear that,” he says, as Jiang Cheng grimly gestures for the tables to be moved out of the way to form an impromptu sparring ring so Satisfaction can be given.
#once in the library pavilion when wwx was trying to get to know lwj by annoying his way into his heart#he did the usual barrage of ‘what’s your favorite x?’ questions #but it was like ‘what’s your favorite animal? what’s your favorite color? what’s your favorite soup? what’s your favorite ratio #of broth to vegetable in soup? what’s your favorite accompaniment to soup? what’s your favorite time of day to eat soup? #what’s your favorite childhood anecdote about a time you were eating soup? what’s your favorite bird to listen to chirping #outside your window while you sit with your chin in your hand daydreaming about soup? what’s your favorite poem about soup? #what’s your favorite bowl to eat soup out of? what’s your favorite season?’ #the cultivation world generally thinks the twin jades are hot shit and prime bachelor/son-in-law material #but the jiang sect? the lan don’t speak during meals and have the palate of a baby bird #and in yunmeng it is considered incredibly offensive not to compliment the soup at least seven times while you’re eating it #and if you can’t eat spice (the sixth major food group) then what is even the point of you? #so wei wuxian’s entire family and all his fellow disciples take one look at Cultivation Magazine’s Hottest Gongzis Alive #and are like PASS #this is the main barrier to the wangxian relationship. first wwx has to work through his own anti lan prejudice #and then he has to figure out a way to bring this guy home to his family without starting an international soup incident #i like the idea that instead of thinking lwj is perfect in every way wwx thinks lwj is perfect in every way except one #and lwj doesn’t understand it at all. like he’s not full of himself or anything and he knows he has flaws #but this? really? because he is more or less indifferent to soup? THAT’S what wwx feels like he has to get past? #wwx like 'every relationship involves compromise so i am NOT going to let my brother stab you at family dinner BUT #that means you have to smile at my sister. visibly smile at her and make eye contact for two seconds’ #and lwj is like 'bro i’d literally die for you i think i can handle it’ #but wwx is really nervous and keeps quizzing him. 'okay imagine i’m shijie. i’m sitting across from you. #you’ve just taken your first spoonful. everyone is watching you waiting for your reaction - ’ #'wei ying. they will be eating their own soup. not watching me.’ #'no they’ll definitely be watching you so please don’t fuck this up for us. i mean. i believe in you baby! you’re gonna do great probably! #anyway everyone’s watching you. how do you react?’ #'i make eye contact with jiang guniang for two seconds and smile. then i drink some water.’
@howdydowdy coming through with perfectión
#holy shit yes i love this #the first time wei wuxian tries medicinal herb gusu broth #he is fucking OUTRAGEd #it is an insult to the very concept of soup #and he goes to express this sentiment to lan wangji in the full knowledge that this is it #maybe it was always destined to end up this way #how can two such different people live in harmony #but he can’t LIE when gusu has committed such crimes #he’s both shocked and saddened when lan zhan just sort of mmms at him #oh my love what have they done to you on this mountain #what privations you have endured #to make you this way #but seriously baby we’ve got a real opportunity for you to beat zixuan at soup eating and i want that for us
and also @winepresswrath
I desperately want the lan jades to get corrupted for soup. Not necessarily spicy-hot soup, or even soup with meat; yunmeng can forgive someone being vegetarian for spiritual reason, but by God, you will SEASON YOUR VEGETABLES. Like LWJ has some of JYL’s soup and has an “OH” moment. This is what food can taste like??? And his mouth isnt on fire??? (WWX maybe tried to get his boo used to yungmeng cuisine all at once and it. Didnt go well. At least Xichen thought it was funny). And he immediately starts planning on how to get LXC down here because if anyone deserves good things in life it’s his overworked tired big brother.
LXC takes a spoonful and cries.
This idea gives a new context for Wei WuXian’s constant, loud bemoaning about the Cloud Recesses food as a guest disciple.
Gremlin that he is, he realizes for the first time he can issue what would normally be a mortal insult with 0 consequences and is just going for it. Jiang Cheng is so stressed, waiting to back his brother up in the inevitable fight, and Lan Wangji is becoming increasingly confused as to why Wei WuXian is always tacking on “I know you didn’t make it Lan Zhan” when he complains about the lack of spice.
Lan Qiren knows what “this soup tastes terrible!” means in Yunmeng, but since it doesn’t fit the parameters of breaking a rule and he can’t say he’s mortally offended at Wei WuXian’s soup insults without looking and feeling like a fool, so he sips his terrible soup, stewing in annoyance.