I'm Tired and Angry But Somebody Should Be

modern mdzs au where wei wuxian, jiang cheng and nie huaisang go to uni together and are chaos gremlins until wwx starts falling in love with lan wangji and nie huisang find jiang cheng singing can you feel the love tonight only it's timon & pumba's part and nhs joins him

fhfj I knew I didn't make this up XD

all the juniors hero worshipping lan wangji is so perfect because for years, years, he lives up to it all. he goes where he’s needed and helps and he’s kind and really super competent. but then one day he sees some demonic cultivator twink who is allegedly crazy and happily pissed off sect leader jiang and lan wangji went yeah him. the juniors are sitting there desperately trying to get out through grit teeth that yes, hanguang-jun has fantastic taste in men, regardless of the fact that his crush is currently wailing and trying to bribe a donkey into biting lan wangji, because they refuse to lower their opinion of him at all. he’s amazing they say as he makes heart eyes at the guy who’s lying face down on the ground screaming. absolutely peerless and talented, truly lives up to his title.

tags by @howdydowdy

#Jiang Cheng at karaoke#your smile is like a breath of spring#and by that I mean cold and wet#your voice is soft like summer rain because there’s no shouting in the cloud recesses#good thing we don’t know anyone who likes making noise and running#and I can easily understand#how you could easily take my man#medicinal broth is totally food wangjiiii (via @winepresswrath)

i’ve heard him say you’re really hot i don’t see why, but i guess he’s not interested in my thoughts, wangji your smile is like a breath of spring but what the hell’s that supposed to mean? that isn’t even a real thing, wangji

your voice is just like summer rain? i guess because you rarely deign to share what’s in your perfect brain, wangji your features are carved out of ice which apparently he thinks is nice he’s dumber than a bag of rice, wangji

as far as i can tell you’d like to stick his head upon a pike so just tell him to take a hike, wangji believe me i’ve done all i can to get through to this hopeless man you’re not even the hottest lan, wangji

i have to listen to his sighs about your teeth and hair and eyes you should be giving me a prize, wangji but all i ask for in exchange is that you stay out of hugging range how hard could that be to arrange, wangji?

Someone said ‘Nie Mingjue in a crop top and leggings’ and this happened. Twitter || Redbubble

that’s 100 years of dice jail for that d20

though he was probably rolling with disadvantage anyway due to being kind and having faith in his friends idk

Goodness knows the wicked’s lives are lonely

Goodness knows the wicked cry alone

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i love smart wei wuxian:

buuut on the other hand i love my painfully oblivious boy:

wei wuxian meeting the wen sibs is like found family speed run… which then when we get to the flashback of his first night with the jiang’s, we see that is just how he rolls

wei wuxian will see new family and be like “is anyone going to be the kinda annoying but lovable and loyal middle sibling?” and doesn’t wait for an answer

#wwx: *sees the juniors*#wwx: ‘is anyone going to be these kids’ eccentric but capable teacher/father figure?’

LWJ: I was but by all means continue

Getting from birthday cake to birthday suit, WangXian style!

In honor of Xiao Zhan’s birthday, a celebration is in order!!

Lan Zhan made Wei Ying a cake. I FELT it was appropriate (see what I did there? :D)  They are still moving in, so they don’t have proper dishes or furniture ^^; 

Um, I tried adding captions to the photos, did that work?

P.S. I’m sorry about the quality orz. My camera and my light set-up (if you can even call it that) kinda suck and I didn’t realize I took nothing but blurry blown out photos until I was done and tired ^^; Hope ya enjoy it anyway. 

How Lan Wangji became a daddy father !

#once in the library pavilion when wwx was trying to get to know lwj by annoying his way into his heart#he did the usual barrage of ‘what’s your favorite x?’ questions #but it was like ‘what’s your favorite animal? what’s your favorite color? what’s your favorite soup? what’s your favorite ratio #of broth to vegetable in soup? what’s your favorite accompaniment to soup? what’s your favorite time of day to eat soup? #what’s your favorite childhood anecdote about a time you were eating soup? what’s your favorite bird to listen to chirping #outside your window while you sit with your chin in your hand daydreaming about soup? what’s your favorite poem about soup? #what’s your favorite bowl to eat soup out of? what’s your favorite season?’ #the cultivation world generally thinks the twin jades are hot shit and prime bachelor/son-in-law material #but the jiang sect? the lan don’t speak during meals and have the palate of a baby bird #and in yunmeng it is considered incredibly offensive not to compliment the soup at least seven times while you’re eating it #and if you can’t eat spice (the sixth major food group) then what is even the point of you? #so wei wuxian’s entire family and all his fellow disciples take one look at Cultivation Magazine’s Hottest Gongzis Alive #and are like PASS #this is the main barrier to the wangxian relationship. first wwx has to work through his own anti lan prejudice #and then he has to figure out a way to bring this guy home to his family without starting an international soup incident #i like the idea that instead of thinking lwj is perfect in every way wwx thinks lwj is perfect in every way except one #and lwj doesn’t understand it at all. like he’s not full of himself or anything and he knows he has flaws #but this? really? because he is more or less indifferent to soup? THAT’S what wwx feels like he has to get past? #wwx like 'every relationship involves compromise so i am NOT going to let my brother stab you at family dinner BUT #that means you have to smile at my sister. visibly smile at her and make eye contact for two seconds’ #and lwj is like 'bro i’d literally die for you i think i can handle it’ #but wwx is really nervous and keeps quizzing him. 'okay imagine i’m shijie. i’m sitting across from you. #you’ve just taken your first spoonful. everyone is watching you waiting for your reaction - ’ #'wei ying. they will be eating their own soup. not watching me.’ #'no they’ll definitely be watching you so please don’t fuck this up for us. i mean. i believe in you baby! you’re gonna do great probably! #anyway everyone’s watching you. how do you react?’ #'i make eye contact with jiang guniang for two seconds and smile. then i drink some water.’

@howdydowdy​ coming through with perfectión

#holy shit yes i love this #the first time wei wuxian tries medicinal herb gusu broth #he is fucking OUTRAGEd #it is an insult to the very concept of soup #and he goes to express this sentiment to lan wangji in the full knowledge that this is it #maybe it was always destined to end up this way #how can two such different people live in harmony #but he can’t LIE when gusu has committed such crimes #he’s both shocked and saddened when lan zhan just sort of mmms at him #oh my love what have they done to you on this mountain #what privations you have endured #to make you this way #but seriously baby we’ve got a real opportunity for you to beat zixuan at soup eating and i want that for us

and also @winepresswrath​

I desperately want the lan jades to get corrupted for soup. Not necessarily spicy-hot soup, or even soup with meat; yunmeng can forgive someone being vegetarian for spiritual reason, but by God, you will SEASON YOUR VEGETABLES. Like LWJ has some of JYL’s soup and has an “OH” moment. This is what food can taste like??? And his mouth isnt on fire??? (WWX maybe tried to get his boo used to yungmeng cuisine all at once and it. Didnt go well. At least Xichen thought it was funny). And he immediately starts planning on how to get LXC down here because if anyone deserves good things in life it’s his overworked tired big brother.

LXC takes a spoonful and cries.

This idea gives a new context for Wei WuXian’s constant, loud bemoaning about the Cloud Recesses food as a guest disciple.

Gremlin that he is, he realizes for the first time he can issue what would normally be a mortal insult with 0 consequences and is just going for it.  Jiang Cheng is so stressed, waiting to back his brother up in the inevitable fight, and Lan Wangji is becoming increasingly confused as to why Wei WuXian is always tacking on “I know you didn’t make it Lan Zhan” when he complains about the lack of spice.

Lan Qiren knows what “this soup tastes terrible!” means in Yunmeng, but since it doesn’t fit the parameters of breaking a rule and he can’t say he’s mortally offended at Wei WuXian’s soup insults without looking and feeling like a fool, so he sips his terrible soup, stewing in annoyance.

is wwx written as more sexual in the novel versus the drama? because i feel like i’ve missed something every time i see people writing wwx as this hypersexual guy. and i’m not saying this in a the-drama-is-better-than-the-novel-purist-who-gets-off-on-their-own-perceived-superiority kind of way - i’m genuinely curious. 

i personally don’t feel like it fits with his drama characterization, and if that is how he’s written in the novel….i’ll pass. i just can’t picture wwx being all over lwj out in public………in the privacy of their own space, of course! after all, someone’s got to sit in lwj’s lap. also i feel like wwx’s a lot more serious than people give him credit for…..yes he loves to play around and what not, but he’s not some fool who has no concept of time and place. often times if he’s acting “extra” in a situation that calls for seriousness, he’s doing so on purpose…….anyways i’m done lmao

No... no he is not. If possible, he might be even MORE of a dumb virgin in the novel than in the drama. There are a few scenes that play up his ~flirtatious nature a bit more maybe. But it’s explicitly stated that up until he and LWJ get together, getting kissed blindfolded on Phoenix Mountain (by LWJ but he doesn’t know it at the time) is literally the most he’s ever done sexually. 

Early in the book when he’s still trying to convince LWJ that he’s Mo Xuanyu, he acts super “shameless” but this is a (terrible) attempt at concealing his identity. He suddenly gets real shy when there’s some suggestion LWJ might take him seriously. 

So like... he talks a good game, but there’s nothing behind it.

After Wangxian get together is kind of a different story - you may have heard about the “everyday is everyday” thing, which is most definitely literal -  but I don’t think that negates the fact that WWX has never shown serious attraction for anyone other than LWJ and he’s such a dumb virgin it takes him like a million years to even figure out that that’s what he’s feeling.  

love the contrast of lan wangji calling wei wuxian's drawing VERY boring but also like. very carefully and gently setting it aside so it doesn't wrinkle or stain. on the far side of his desk. away from wei wuxian.

wei wuxian: haha i knew you'd say that, it's okay, you can just give it back then-

lan wangji: no.

wei wuxian: i- what? but you don't even like it. here, just let me-

lan wangji: no.

wei wuxian: but- but i literally drew it and i want it back-

lan wangji: taking back a gift once it's given is against the rules in cloud recesses.

wei wuxian: i've copied the rules three hundred times already, i'm pretty sure that's not in there-

lan wangji: *already planning a visit to lan qiren* it's about to be.

is there anything quite like realizing that strict warrior clan leader nie mingjue is a sensitive jock who cries whenever he has an emotion, and that his delicate little brother who makes a scene whenever hes mildly inconvenienced is absolutely stone cold and none of the people around him who pride themselves on reading emotions realize hes full of unrelenting murderous rage for like a solid decade. kings both of them