And I hope when you look at me years down the line you say I was a faggot and slayed

HOBBES vs. TIGGER cage match TO THE DEATH say goodbye to your childhood because ONE! WILL!! DIE!!!!

Picturing two tiger plushies just kind of sitting there facing each other in Thunderdome

i am picturing it

Hobbes and Tigger would find some aspect of tigerhood to bond over, but Calvin would put Christopher Robin in the ground.

A tortious is sponsoring posts

Go for it, Miss Ayase!

the mutuals would love that

2024 is a terrible year to be a henchman. The word "minion" is barely usable and you can't even say "goon" anymore.

fucking assho

"Ok, ma'am that'll be 226.03$."

I take my wallet out of my pocket and unfold it. It is empty other than a single moth that lazily flies out. The moth lands on the tap point of the card reader. There's a beat, and my payment is processed. The moth flies back into my wallet and I put it back in my pocket.

keto so easy

She’s being brought along!

holy fuck man, whenever I need to bust a gut this always hits so hard. Holy shit.

This video shows that delivery of the joke is far more important than the joke itself.

“What is a skeleton’s favorite snack? RIBS!”

By itself a good joke, but the skeleton prop, the dumb voice and the acting makes this truly epic.

ever since I was a young lad I knew I wanted to be a middle-aged man with an undone tie around his neck who’s having a crisis so he goes to the bathroom to splash water on his face only to look up at himself in the mirror and wonder at the stranger looking back

Customer: 2 cats DMV: 2 CATS Verdict: ACCEPTED

My blind and deaf dog welcomes me home from work (via)