Ted Lasso characters as British biscuits
(Crossposted from twitter. Please don’t come for me because you don’t agree or take the definition of 'biscuit' too seriously. This is just supposed to be funny.)
Ted - Tea Cakes
Who knew that something with pigeon sweat in its name would remind him of Kansas. The biscuit base, chocolate covering & fluffy filling make it the best reminder of s'mores around a bonfire. Add the fancy packaging & it’s the perfect marriage of his two homes.
Rebecca - Shortbread
I don’t have to explain this one, do I? Perfectly sweet and a bit salty. Fit for a queen. However, they have to be self-made by a certain American football coach. Otherwise, what’s the point?
Rupert - Garibaldis
No one likes these. Currants don’t belong anywhere and especially not in a biscuit. No. Just no. Deserves the nickname 'squashed flies' and is perfect for a mean, old, Garibaldi-ng man.
Keeley - Pink Wafers
Light, crispy and most importantly, pink. They’re a very sweet, simple biscuit (wafer, I know.) Once you add a bit of food coloring they get their bubbly personality which makes them stand out. Just lovely all around.
Roy - Party Rings
He hates them. At least that’s what he said at his niece’s birthday party before his sister caught him with a bunch of them in his hand. He’s just eating them to protect the kids from all the sugar, he says. But maybe, just maybe he is a sweetheart at his core.
Nate - Jaffa Cake
This one is controversial. Unsuspecting at first, then the orange…and is it a cake or a biscuit? It switches sides - tries to be the version of itself that gives it the best outcome, the highest profit so to say. Controversy aside, it’s universally loved.
Higgins - (Chocolate) Digestive
Plain & simple. Very reliable. It’s always there should you need it. They just plod along in this godforsaken world, doing their best and encouraging you to do the same. It’s not the most exciting biscuit, but a favourite among all.
Beard - Chocolate Bourbon
They just sit in the background of the biscuit tin, they have never asked for much acclaim, they’re quiet. Usually left for last but there’s always one person who devours them like they’ve been starved.
Jamie - Jammy Dodger
The Jam[ie] Dodger was born in the dirt and fought its way to the top. It’s ambitious and knows it’s worth. It might not be the most established biscuit, but it's indispensable at this point. Agree or not. In the end the Jam[ie] Dodger doesn’t care, does it.
