#you don't have a choice – @iamjaynaemarie on Tumblr

WHAT HAVE I DONE: Close Enough…

To decide to make Book II: The Saga of Thranduil have 34 chapters nearly made me faint until I realized it was okay. Most of old book III was done a long time ago, I just have to fill in the details. It was also short enough to add to Book II. Then I had my meeting yesterday and was told “oh, I can’t wait to read the NEW Book II and the Alternate version and Book II: The History of Eryn Galen and Book III: The Last Tale of Legolas Lasgalen.” Then I passed out and woke up today, posted something and realized I missed a dwarf.

In the scheme of things, the entire premise of the story was to put Thranduil back into Middle-Earth as the hot guy rather than that creepy toad I grew up with.

RIGHT…

The only elf ever put on celluloid that destroyed everyone’s ideas about elves in every language, culture or fairy tale on the planet–from Tolkien to the North Pole for the rest of time and beyond; thereby becoming the poster boy not only for Elvenkind, but for Middle-Earth, Earth and Earth-like planets spanning the Milky Way.

In ten seconds he made my OBGYN, Psychologist and her sister an English teach wish that Thranduil had his own reality show, movie, book, clothing line, perfume line, and longed for anyone to invent a cloning machine and run him through it until it broke.

He’s worshipped as a God by all elves since time began. Point of fact, Thranduil made history and panties drop all over the world and I seemingly without thinking became his enabler. Thranduil has perfected perfection. You don’t get anymore perfect than Thranduil–even when I give him faults, he’s perfect. What is with this guy?

Seriously, perfect is less perfect than Thranduil. He’s made hot luke-warm and pretty much destroyed anyone’s perception of the male species human or otherwise forever. Sometimes when I write about him, I take this vision for granted because I saw him before puberty. Then there is the shirtless scene when the elven maidens discovered how much the heir to the throne had “developed”…..that was sweet and innocent. I don’t know what went through your head. He’s all powerful, romantic, loves kids, sense of humor, well built. If you’ve ever read a description of a Tolkien elf, tall is a highlight and Lee Pace aced that genetically. The eyes, hair, wardrobe, weapons, elk…PJ outdid himself (then put the most perfect creature in 8-12 hours of film for less than an hour–that was f’d up). What did I do? I was sad, depressed and trying to get people to like my old work and started this on the side. NOW look where I am?

I don’t know…Heaven? No, I’ll be the author of a 34 chapter book about the most elusive character in an 80 year-old epic written by Tolkien and made undeniably the single most beautiful elf of all time by Lee Pace in under 10 seconds that I for some reason got “inspired” and somehow wrote 360 pages in six months without even thinking about it. I don’t know what happened. When I die, it will be the greatest unsolved mystery of all time. I absolutely ADORE this story. I absolutely ADORE Lee Pace for whatever the hell he did. I still think it was his voice. It just stuck in my head and I memorized from the first time I ever heard it. I just know it like I know how to breathe.

God, I LOVE WHAT I DO….I actually told one of the idiots there was nothing they could say or do to make me give up this story. They hate hearing it but I mean it. I was sad my family never noticed and my doctor panicked and asked if was affecting my story. No. It cheers me up and readers cheer me up when they like it. I wouldn’t give up Thranduil for all the money on earth. It’s not every day you get inspired to do something of this size that has caught the eye of producers already. No matter how sad I get, I am not letting this go. I think it was a gift…a miracle, sort of because it found me when I almost gave up on writing anything ever again. I guess I owe Tolkien, Jackson and Pace for saving me. Mostly Tolkien and Pace. Pace nailed it so good, black and decker couldn’t invent a tool to pull it out.