Chapter I: A Love Beyond Time (Pt. V)
“I stood with Fëaluin and Súriar inside my study when Eldôr, Elranduil and Ardôr entered.
“Where is Êlenuil,” I asked without looking at them.
“He comes along with his brother,” Ardôr said quietly.
No sooner than he spoke, Êlenuil and his brother Elendôr entered with Tarthôn, Orísil, Aruilos, Nimlos and Aramoth.
“Everyone is present, Thranduil,” Fëaluin whispered.
Nodding, I glanced around the room at the princes of the realm. They stood as statues with stoic gazes on their faces.
“Êlenuil,” I said sharply. “Come forward.”
He slowly stepped forward, quivering in fear.
“Yes, Your Majesty,” he said softly.
“First born of Ardôr, son of Elranduil, son of Eldôr,” I began. “Do you know who you are?”
“I am a Prince of the Woodland Realm,” he answered.
“True enough, but you are far more. You are the father to Nenduîl Nárisil.”
“Yes, I know,” he answered.
“Do you know what he is,” I asked.
“He is a peredhel as his sister.”
I smiled at him as he looked at his father.
“I wish that were true, Êlenuil,” I answered. “That would at least give him a choice in this world.”
“I do not understand,” he said.
“There are few elves in this world such as you and your brother. Fewer still born heirs to a throne. None with a son such as your own.”
“How do you, mean,” he asked.
Ardôr tried to come forward, but Elranduil held him back.
“Father,” he asked. “What is he saying?”
“I am saying, Êlenuil,” I said sternly. “You were born an elf with the blood of the Noldo, Sinda and Nandor—of the Teleri. The Everstar. Your son is Nenduîl Nárisil Êlenuilion. Born more elf than mortal for though the mother of both of your children was human, she still carried the blood of her elven ancestors—those of Êlúriel, my beloved wife and queen. Should you choose to leave him and his sister in my care, he will become the last heir of this kingdom in your stead.”
It was a silence that could not be broken—a revelation that would forever be known.
“I have no words to say,” Êlenuil whispered. “What can I say?”
“I would prefer you would say you will remain here for your children,” I answered. “But that is something you much decide alone.”
“I cannot stay here,” he said. “Not without Súlelenth. The pain is far too great.”
I sighed deeply and turned to Fëaluin.
“Everyone may take their leave,” he said. “All but Êlenuil. His Majesty would like a word with you.”
When we were alone, I released my anger relentlessly.
“Even now, you would choose your sadness over your children,” I demanded. “What sort of father are you? You would abandon them by putting your own needs before theirs? And tell me, what father tells his children they should have never been born?”
“I would never say such a thing,” Êlenuil answered. “Why would I say that to my children? I love them.”
“Tárimë told me you have said this for as long as she could remember. I would not doubt the word of a child. What reason would there be for them to speak an untruth?”
Êlenuil looked concern—his grief giving way to worry. It was then I knew truly loved his children.
“I was speaking to Súlelenth,” he said. “Tárimë must have heard me repeat something Haldúir once said to their mother after he had learned of their birth. I was angry he would say such a thing to his daughter. Whenever she wished to see her parents, I forbad her from going. It was in those moments I would remind her of what her father’s words. My children must have thought I felt that way. They are the best of me, Thranduil. I loved them from the first time I saw them after their birth. I have lost my wife now my children believe that I never loved them. You must think me horrible.”
“I do not think you horrible,” I said. “I know your grief all too well. But I had to put it aside to raise my own two sons. I knew Êlúriel would have never forgiven me had I given in to my grief. I cannot tell you it will ever go away. It never will. But like Êlúriel, Súlelenth gave you part of her in your children and that is reason enough to stay.”
“It is reason enough to live, but not to stay,” he answered. “You are stronger than anyone in this world—elf or man. To see all you have seen and all that you have lost yet you only grow stronger. I wish my children to learn that from you because I cannot teach them what I do not have.”
“You will tell them what you have told me,” I said. “That you love them. You should not leave them believing they are the cause for your choice. I will honor your wish for me to care for them, but I will not tell them what is your responsibility.”
“I will, Thranduil,” he said smiling. “I do not wish to leave my children believe I do not love them. I will see them again one day, I know.”
I had heard those words before—centuries ago when Arandil gave her infant son to me. Tarthôn was a man now—with a growing family of his own. I had wanted the same for Legolas, but I knew his life belonged to him. Thinking about all that had happened in my life to this moment, I realized that things were changing—the world, my kingdom and my own family.
“You may take your leave,” I said. “See about your children now.”
He bowed and left my study. I went to my balcony and listened to the roar of the falls. To myself I could admit wanting to give in to sadness many times, but each time, I would watch Tarthôn and Legolas sleeping in my bed when they were young see my reason to carry on. I knew a great war was coming and I had to remain on my throne for my people and to be here when Legolas returned to me.
“Your Majesty,” I heard one of my guards say.
I turned around to see him standing before me, bowing.
“Someone wishes to speak with you,” he said. “She said it was important.”
“Show her in,” I said thinking was Ninyáre wanting to speak with me about her husband.
It was Arímë. I was happy to see her again. She was dressed in a pale green gown, her long golden hair falling around her much like Êlúriel’s golden brown hair. It was night and the light of the lanterns made her more beautiful than I ever thought I would notice.
“Your Majesty,” she said. “May I speak with you? I know it is late, but I will leave with my husband tomorrow and I may not have another moment to speak with you.”
“You may,” I said as she walked over to me. I had feelings I did not want as she stood beside me.
“I met Nenduîl and Tárimë,” she said. “They are more quite beautiful.”
“Yes, they are,” I answered. “I wonder how they came by their names, Arímë. Súlelenth could never have known about Silme and Nárisil.”
“She learned it from me,” she said. “When I learned of Êlúriel’s love for you, I would tell her about it at night before she went to sleep. She thought it was the most beautiful story ever told.”
“It was the most beautiful story ever lived,” I answered. “If it were possible to have her back, I would give up forever for a day.”
“My cousin was very lucky,” she said smiling. “A such as yours is rare.”
“You know love, Arímë. You gave up forever for love, did you not?”
“I did,” she said. “I do not regret it, but before I met Haldúir, all I had were letters from Êlúriel telling me all about you. I was envious, I must admit. I could only imagine what you looked like. Now I that I know, all that she said was true.”
“Êlúriel, like my mother, would tend to exaggerate,” I said.
“If it were exaggeration, then what I expected to see and what I have seen are at odds with one another for you are far more than what you call exaggeration.”
“You flatter me,” I said. “I only wish she had told me of you.”
“I am far less beautiful than Êlúriel,” she said. “Even Nenloth was envious. But if you had known her mother, you would know where her beauty came from.”
“If I may say,” I began. “I find you rather beautiful. Haldúir has told you this many times I am sure.”
“He did once,” she said thinking. “A long time ago. When Súlelenth found love with Êlenuil, he seemed to change. I believe it was my fault for speaking of my past and the love my father had for my mother. As a mortal, he cannot understand how long I lived. When Súlelenth was born, he did not want her to know anything of my past, but I could not keep it from her. It would be like denying who I was and where she came from. He has since changed. He adores Nenduîl and Tárimë now.”
“He does not know what they are,” I said. “If he knew, it would anger him.”
“What are they,” she asked. “Are they not as I was?”
“No,” I said quietly. “There father carries the bloodline of the Teleri. They are more elf than mortal. They will never have the choice of others as they are.”
She looked at me—her green eyes taking me in where I did not wish to go.
“I am glad for them,” she said. “I want what is left of my people to go on to Aman. Neither me nor Êlúriel can go where I know Nendúril has gone. He will be happy to know a part of his daughter and his wife live on. I am glad a part of me will live on in them.”
We stared at one another for a time. I wanted to escape her.
“When will you leave tomorrow,” I asked.
“At sunrise,” she answered. “Nimlos and Nenloth will ride with us to Dale.”
“Very good,” I said. “I wish you a safe journey.”
“Please,” I interrupted. “Do not say anything more. Let this be farewell.”
“If I had been here for you,” she began. “No, I should have been here for you and Êlúriel.”
“You were in her heart,” I said. “That I am sure.”
She moved closer to me and embraced me. As I allowed myself to return her embrace, I felt the joy of holding someone again. I kissed her forehead. She looked up at me, smiling. She kissed my cheek and I felt her tears.
“I will miss you,” she said. “But you know that already.”
“I do,” I said. “And I will miss you.”
She kissed my lips gently.
“I should have been here for you,” she whispered again. “Namárië, Thranduil, aranon od Eryn Galen.”
She left me alone—my mind swirling with thoughts and emotions I could not comprehend. I began to wish she had been there of me after I lost Êlúriel but I knew in my heart that after a few years, I would have had Arímë in my arms every night for the rest of eternity. I had to put it out of my mind but I knew I did not want to stop thinking about it. I decided to make that the very last time I would ever see Arímë again.”–Excerpt from TKWR:BIII To Eryn Lasgalen by J.M.Miller 8-7-16
Images: ©2012, 2013, 2014. Warner Brothers Pictures. The Hobbit: The Unexpected Journey, The Hobbit: Desolation of Smaug, The Hobbit: Battle of the Five Armies. All Rights Reserved.
