It will be a year ago on April 30 that Thranduil said his first words “The journey continues from the edge of time. None can really know all there is.” I found in him myself--the part of me I had forgotten somewhere between doing what I thought I wanted and doing what I needed to do. I got lost trying to prove something to everyone else. I told my family about what happened and it was like talking to air. They do not care. I spent a lifetime trying to make them see me. For every success, they only see my failures. They seem to find comfort when they can say I failed for some reason. Everyone else gets praised for trying and they tell me to do settle for less that I deserve. When they told people I did nothing for nine months and let others talk down to me--they let their friends talk down to me often. I have no one to defend me.
They will ignore me. They wait for me to fall down. I used to just to make them happy. Every time I wanted to give up for them, I couldn’t do it. I wouldn’t do it. Here I am now. They will not look at me. They will not care. They will stay silent. But they cannot deny me this moment. They cannot take this moment away from me. They cannot say I did nothing. This is my time. I never expected to come this far, but I am here now and I am not letting this chance pass me by. You don’t get chances like this every day. I said I had a choice to make. It wasn’t to let this opportunity go. I had to decide to stop trying to get them to see me. I had to let go. It will be hard, I love them. But I can’t give up things for them anymore and without any form of gratitude. I gave up so much for them already. Not this time.