“really?” I say to inanimate objects that are not working like they usually do
“Stay.” I glare at inanimate objects that continuously fall over
“Thank you!” I say exhasperatedly to the inanimate objects when they do finally work right/stay put
“Sorry! I say to the table I bumped into
“SHHH” I say to the inanimate object that keeps making noise
“Yeah, yeah, I’m coming,” I huff at the persistent kitchen timer.
“Don’t take that tone with me!” I exclaim at objects that make strange and sudden unknown noises.
“Stop crying, you’re fine,” I snap as I’m looking for the charger cord for the electronic device beeping demandingly at me.
“Oh nice, real mature,” I snarl at devices that suddenly stop working after I berate them for not working properly.
JESUS CHRIST I HAVE NEVER RELATED SO HARD IN MY LIFE
“shhhhh, shhhhhhhh” I say as I soothingly rub an electronic device that is processing loudly, “you can do it, I believe in you…”
Why do I feel like this would be Joey Mallone’s way of dealing with the new and wonderful world of technology?
“Lay off, will ya?” he snaps at the alarm clock beeping obnoxiously on the shelf.
“The trash can is right there, you know,” he warns the remote control as he attempts to use it to turn the TV on.
“WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?!” he howls fruitlessly at the Oogle search engine after yet another page full of shit ads and barely-related content to what he actually wanted to find.