Beat our guest, beat our guest, Slam a bat into their chest

Stuff a rock into a sock and turn their face into a mess

Break their arms, break their face, pop a socket out of place

unleash all the hidden fury you’ve suppressed!

They’ll find it hard to plead, when they profusely bleed

all down their vest-

I don’t jest!

They’re too toothless to protest!

Beat our guest, beat our guest, beat our guest!

Certain as the Sun’s

Hard to look right at

Tiny little legs

Hopes somebody begs

Dresser with a bat

There goes the baker with his tray like always I think he’s wondering where I’m at. Every human falls the same: First a screech, then they’re in pain. They’re no trouble for the dresser with a bat.

I saw downstairs, I coulda swore, A piece of furniture that wants my blood and more, Bat firmly grasped! What lies in store? Where’s that damn dresser now? It was just here before!

@zarla-s

Finally finished this sad little skele-family. I’ve been sewing plushies for a while but tsum tsums are newer to me so I did my darndest :)

Oh no IRL tsums

Liam don’t give a shit

eddie redmayne literally admitted to being a furry

Moses And The Burning Bush

he’s so dead inside

i relate, burgerpants

i relate

Daforge as Starfleet cadets?

@tinsnip

such cutes 8′D

Don’t ask.

@hebbycakes @thegreatestfriend

I was in the midst of working on cosplay when I got mired and put my mask on a blanket and started crawling around on the ground not realizing my sisters boyfriend was over. And this picture is the result

10/10

“Oh Zeus, not like this,” or, How the Greeks Executed People

So I’ve been reading a lot of cultural history books about ancient Greece as I write a tabletop RPG Campaign Setting compatible with 5E (TITLE NOT YET DECIDED UPON). You’ve likely heard how Socrates was executed with a poison hemlock drink. But that’s just the tip of the iceberg for classical Athenian execution. Listed below are the 3 methods I’ve identified in my research:

1) Socrates got what I’d refer to as a high ranking execution, poison by “suicide.” This was likely reserved for prominent citizens.

2) The next level of execution was probably used for citizens whose crimes warranted a quicker, more merciful death. These citizens were THROWN OFF the acropolis–or another appropriately tall hill with a cliff on one side. Just thrown the hell off like a sack of potatoes. In the event that the fall doesn’t kill you instantly, good news! A man waits at the bottom of the cliff with a sword to put you out of your misery. They seemed to think this made it all very humane.

3) The last form of execution is saved for–I HOPE–only the most heinous criminals, but really they probably did you this way if you were poor. In version number 3 you were not poisoned, or stabbed, or shot, no, you were simply STRANGLED BY THE MOST ENORMOUS AVAILABLE MAN. THAT’S RIGHT KIDS, AFTER PRONOUNCING YOU GUILTY THE PRESIDING MAGISTRATE WAS JUST LIKE, “ALRIGHT BOAGRIUS, HAVE AT IT,” AND THEN THIS GREGOR CLEGANE LOOKIN’ EM-EFFER JUST ROLLS UP ON YOU AND CHOKES YOU OUT IN FRONT OF HUNDREDS OF YOUR PEERS. NO CEREMONY, NO LAST RIGHTS, LURCH JUST DOES YOU DIRTY RIGHT THERE UNDER THE BLISSFUL MEDITERRANEAN SUN. JESUS CHRIST.

And that, dear readers, is why ancient Greece was completely batsh*t. 

Look at these birbs

Today is annoying so here are some smol fat birbs

birb orbs

borbs

Sick Sick Victory

Context: Ebberon 4e, while storming a bandit lair we happen on a secret passage into the next room allowing us to flank the enemy. Peaking into the room we notice 8 bandits and their ascot wearing leader. This also gives a great vantage for our Dragonborn Fighter to wipe most, if not all, the bandits out with one fire breath. This is what followed.

Dragonborn Fighter: I storm in and use my fire breath!! *Rolls Nat 1*

Party groans

DM: You burst into the room, the bandits are surprised. You reel back, drawing in your breath. Lurching forward ready to wipe out the room with searing fire. But something is wrong, your stomach churns and you proceed to vomit the entire cone of your breath, covering the floor and all the bandits. They are exceedingly angry and ready to fight. Their leader shouts, “KILL THEM! HE RUINED MY RUG!” Your ENTIRE PARTY loses this surprise round.

Warforged Barbarian (Me): I can try to clear most of them out with a charge, but we really need this. We’re hurting from the last fight. Use an action surge and try your breath again.

DM: I’ll allow it.

Dragonborn Fighter: Fine I do that… *Rolls NAT 20*

Party Freaks Out

DM, trying to keep it together: Okay, okay, as you are coughing up the rest of your sick on the floor a single ember falls from your mouth. The bandits once ready to fight, now watch as it slowly drifts to the floor. When it makes contact your sick instantly catches fire and spreads across everything as if it was gasoline, killing the bandits. With the room now ablaze and his entire force killed by flaming vomit the bandit leader, sits in his chair with both hands covering his face, just repeating, “you win, you win.”

This is a thing of beauty.

@sushinfood I can’t help but feel that you’re, like, at least 12% to blame for this.

I really wanted to animate this cuz I was laughing way too hard when I heard it XD

This is sung by @paper-mario-wiki who is one of my favorites!

Nicely done :D!

I am cry. XD

a baby fire goes to school at the cindergarten

ready to burn their ABCs

I need a baby Grillby here, STAT.

oh

P.S. HOW HE DOES IT 

Trying to Start Teen Titan Romances… 💞 by Thomas Sanders

This is why I love voice actors. XD

Papyrus wakes up to a commotion and finds that his brother is split into six. Each with different parts of his personality. Papyrus takes notes and observes all the Sans’ carefully.

I discovered Osomatsu-san last year and I unexpectedly fell in love with the show. I’ve been wanting to do a crossover all because of one thought. Osomatsu-SANS. That’s it. Also I wanted to draw Papyrus in Iyami’s pose.

@kyleehenke

This infuriates and tickles me.