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When All Else Fails

@iamabagfullofcats / iamabagfullofcats.tumblr.com

VO PROMO BLOG: mackityattackity.tumblr.com This is my fandom/reblog blog! Nerd! Voice actor! Call me Mack! She/her or they/them, w/e! Avvie by @gaelfox
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sskyguy-blog

                   the tragedy of anakin skywalker (x)

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luckyjak

OH GOD NO BUT THAT WOULD BE PERFECT. how did the jedi not think of that?

what is anakin’s biggest weakness? attachments.

you know who needs lots of attachment? babies. small children.

anakin should not have been made to study murder: he should have been put in charge of Small Things. He would have bonded with all of them instantly, and it would have given his life Meaning and Purpose.

He’d bond with the kids, but he’d be able to move on because they are Bigger now and they have to go to the Big Kid Class but he still sees them around all the time, and it finally teaches him how to let go of his attachments??? He’d find a kid that he’s particularly fond of and go to Obi-Wan and say “I have found your newest padawan.”

this could have fixed so. many. things. ;_____;

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angelqueen04

Heh, and Anakin would keep picking Obi-Wan’s padawans for him, and it would be annoying but damn if he wasn’t right every single time.

BUT CAN YOU JUST IMAGINE HOW ANNOYED PALPATINE WOULD BE his life would be never-ending string of trying to get a hold of Anakin (I mean, would Anakin give him a time of day if he can spend it with small kids who absolutely adore him instead?)

he keeps comming over the years, but it’s always like

BEEP

“Anakin, my boy, we haven’t seen each other in a while—“

“I’m sorry, Chancellor, now’s not the best time. I’m tutoring a class.”

BEEP

“My dear boy, I wonder if we could meet for a chat—“

“Well, it can’t be this week, we’re going to Ilum, but maybe later…”

BEEP

“Anakin, I’d like to—“

“I’m terribly sorry, Chancellor,” Obi-Wan Kenobi answers. The apologetic tone might be just a tad exaggerated. “Anakin is on a trip with younglings, he must’ve left his comlink behind accidentally.”

BEEP

“You’ve reached Anakin Skywalker’s private comlink. Leave the message after the tone.”

BEEP

“It’s such a shame that Council doesn’t consider sending you on this campaign, considering the lightsaber skills you demonstrated when I was last visiting the Temple, Anakin.”

“Thank you, Chancellor, but this is precisely why I need to stay behind. In fact just the last week, the Masters decided I should take over some advanced lightsaber classes, considering senior Padawans accompanying their Masters on the frontlines need the training. I might take the Bear Clan along, make it a learning opportunity for the young ones—“

Palpatine closes his eyes slowly. He knows this from experience; Anakin won’t let himself be budged from the topic of little monsters for at least another half an hour.

BEEP

“Ah, Chancellor Palpatine. Anakin left his comlink behind again, he’s in class—“

BEEP

“Anakin, I hoped you—“

“Oh! Chancellor,” the voice on the other end is distinctly female, and Palpatine recognizes it after a second. Kenobi’s second Padawan. He barely restrains the urge to gnash his teeth. “Um, Skyg—I mean, Master Skywalker can’t pick up now. I can tell him you called? It’s just that he was helping me with forms, and he forgot his comlink, and he’s probably already in crèche…”

BEEP

Then there’s that one time when an actual youngling picks up the call. The less said about his reaction to that incident, the better.

BEEP

“—fortunately, they were all right in the end. But in my opinion, this should never happened in the first place, Chancellor.”

Palpatine snaps awake. Was that… was that anger? Finally, the hours of listening to worthless drivel about Jedi younglings paid off.

“My boy, I absolutely agree,” he begins slyly, but before he can continue, Anakin steamrolls on.

“I think Jedi Order is too deeply entwined in the conflict! I honestly don’t think even senior Padawans should be anywhere near battles, not to mention in command of GAR, but now even younglings are acceptable targets for Separatists and pirates! Master Yoda and I were talking about this lately, and—“

Palpatine swallows a scream of rage with some difficulty.

BEEP

“Forgot his comlink again, Master Skywalker has. With younglings, he is.”

Slaughtering younglings moved to the top on the list of things Darth Sidious will do after taking over galaxy some time ago.

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grand-duc

this post keeps getting better and better

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suzume42

More please! Tagging @systlin, @beautifultoastdream and @karama9

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karama9

That is what the Council would have done if they were smart. Seriously. Here’s Yoda saying Anakin should not be taught because he senses too much fear in him, and it’s fear for the people he cares about, something everyone present realizes fully because when it comes to his own safety, Anakin couldn’t be more reckless. Then Qui Gon announces he’s training him anyway, someone points out he might fulfill the prophecy and bring balance to the Force, and nobody, NOBODY, thinks that MAYBE giving him a job that’s more about caring than killing might be an idea. Nope. Okay, we’re training him, let’s foster the loose canon aspect of his personalities, make him a war general and keep pushing him into vicious battles to the death. Sounds perfect for his mental health. The Jedi Council were a bunch of idiots with their head so far up their own asses even a lightsaber shoved up there to the hilt would not provide them enough light to see further than their own noses.

I think I got lost somewhere in this metaphor. You get the point.

After ten years, Palpatine loses his patience and decides to change his plans. Fuck it, Skywalker has kids now–two adorable little moppets who can be captured, broken, and twisted into twin powerhouses of the Dark Side. Torture one while the other watches, convince them Daddy doesn’t love them, easy-peasy.

Unfortunately, he fails to reckon with the fact that not only is he going up against Anakin Fucking Skywalker, but that Anakin Fucking Skywalker is the surrogate father/big brother/best friend/cool teacher of ninety percent of the current Padawans and young Knights in the Order. And while the Council might make decisions and talk about the Will of the Force and stuff, those Padawans and Knights only care about the fact that the man who scared away the monsters under the bed–made it feel less lonely and frightening to be away from home when they were small–is now hurting and scared for his own children.

Just like Palpatine always wanted, Anakin ends up leading an army. An army of young Jedi who smash the ever-loving shit out of everything “Darth Sidious” can throw at them, rescue the terrified Skywalker twins, and drag the Chancellor hisownself before the Senate with conclusive proof that he’s an evil Dark-Side-wielding bastard who kidnaps adorable kids.

Attachments FTW.

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systlin

God, YES

Luke and Leia would have grown up with 500 brothers and sisters of assorted species.  Whenever you see Anakin there are 10 kids with him, occasionally actively hanging off of his arms or riding on his shoulders. (Anakin looks downright gleeful about this). Padme thinks it’s the most adorable thing ever.  

20 years later by the time “A New Hope” would have begun, Anakin is 45. Padme is the new Chancellor. Luke and Leia are finishing their own Jedi training. 90% of the current young Jedi order calls Anakin ‘Dad’. He has amassed the galaxy’s largest collection of refrigerator art. After that incident with Chancellor Palpatine 15 years back, Yoda was forced to admit to Qui Gon’s very smug force-ghost that he was right. Everything is right with the galaxy. 

I am so sorry this ate my brain and then things ran away from me. I AM SORRY.  So. Anakin leads an army to retrieve his children and it’s this twisted version of everything Sidious ever wanted and he’s prepared for that.

But Sidious always underestimates how love changes things. And while he’s prepared to fight Anakin’s devoted army of former crechelings, he underestimates how that’s changed the rest of the Order.

Because Obi-Wan is quieter about whom and how he loves but doesn’t make it any less strong. When Obi-Wan loves someone it is unconditional and unyielding and he has never loved anyone as much as he loves Anakin Skywalker. Then the twins are born and Anakin is bashfully about it but he’s not ashamed and of course Obi-Wan has to know, he can’t imagine Obi-Wan not knowing his children (Obi-Wan totally already knows, he has been rolling his eyes about this for months and waiting for Anakin to come to him so he doesn’t spook him or for Padme to knock some freaking sense into him, which she does, because not-dying Padme is scary post-pregnancy and not willing to deal with the stupid anymore) and then Padme hands him Leia and everything stutters to a halt for a moment because oh, oh no, Anakin has found him another padawan.

There is no one Obi-Wan will ever love as fiercely as Anakin, except for Anakin’s children, who may as well be his own children. And he knows from the moment he first holds her that Leia will be the greatest Jedi he ever has a hand in raising.

(It becomes a joke among the Knights and Masters at the temple after the Skywalker twins arrive. If you even think that you might like to take Leia as your padawan, you can feel Obi-Wan glare at you no matter where he is in the galaxy.)

And when Sidious kidnaps Anakin’s children – his future padawan – Obi-Wan is the only Jedi in the galaxy who can put a hand on Anakin’s shoulder and say we need a distraction to do this safely, trust me to bring them home for you. Anakin will lead the frontal assault and tear down all of Sidious’ carefully constructed plans. Obi-Wan will sneak in and safeguard their children and bring them home.

That’s the plan, anyway.

Here’s what none of them expected:

When Luke Skywalker came screaming and red-faced into the world, an ancient, meddling, troll of a Jedi Master who had vowed never to take another padawan felt it and thought: fuck.

Whereas Leia is, even as a child, stubborn and willful and silk hiding steel, Luke is twin balls of sunshine. Raised among Jedi, he is so bright a presence it hurts. Even raised among Jedi, he wears his heart on his sleeve and has absolutely no guile and he pouts when the cafeteria doesn’t serve his favourite dessert but will cheerfully walk across the room and give it to someone else if he senses that person is still hungry. The first time Luke sees Yoda he stares at him, all big blue eyes and pudgy baby hands, then grabs his ears and won’t let go. Everyone is horrified. Yoda harrumphs at him and tell him, “Patience, young one.” He toddles after Yoda from the time he can crawl and no matter how grouchy Yoda seems he never actively dissuades him from it.

After the twins enter the temple, Anakin always knows not to worry if Luke is missing from the crèche. Yoda will escort him back sooner or later.  

(He’s always much more worried when Leia disappears because, yes, Obi-Wan will bring her back but they’ll have always gotten into trouble in the meantime.)

Yoda does not confront Darth Sidious. Yoda does not lose his duel with the Sith lord and become diminished because of it. Yoda is with Obi-Wan, sneaking into his stronghold to see the twins safe. Yoda cannot go Sith hunting when Luke is in pain and gently clinging to him, his arms around his neck, bruised and bleeding and smiled at Yoda when he saw him because Luke knew he would come.

(Sidious cannot win, with them. Leia would risk her home being obliterated rather than betray her righteous cause. Luke would willingly walk into flames rather than give up on those he loves. It hurts, oh it hurts, to see the other in pain, but Leia can watch Luke being hurt and know there are more important things at stake than the two of them and Luke can watch Leia being hurt and trust that they will be saved.)

Sidious escapes but his Empire falls before it solidifies. He will never be as powerful as he needs to be.

(It’s Anakin who notices there is something wrong with the clones. He’s not their General but Obi-Wan is and Obi-Wan is a good general. When Obi-Wan is hurt, they’re all nosey and worried and Anakin – all but glued to his former Master’s bedside when it’s really bad and first and foremost a mechanic – can tell that something is wrong. He’s not always with them so it never becomes familiar, it never becomes normal, and it niggles at the back of his brain until he’s sitting in front of Obi-Wan’s bacta tank –  old training bond humming between them because Obi-Wan hates drugs and hates being sedated and he stays quieter and heals faster if Anakin is there to keep him calm – and Rex walks in to check on the General and Anakin turns around to look at him and he sees it.

The Jedi Order quietly deprograms the clone army. They trace the chip back to Palpatine. Padme and Bail Organa and Mon Mothma start quietly amassing information against him and his allies – enough for criminal charges, pushing Sidious to show his hand and try to kidnap the twins.)

Obi-Wan takes Leia as his Padawan the second she’s old enough for it to be proper. They are scarily well matched. If he was the Jedi’s best hope to keep planets from succeeding during the war, together they can talk whole systems into rejoining the rebuilding Republic. 

Yoda leaves Luke in the crèche until the day before his thirteenth birthday. Everyone is worried except Luke (who knows he is meant to be a Jedi and knows Master Yoda is meant to teach him and trusts this, since he was raised in the Temple. It’s easier to have faith when you’ve always had it and it’s never been wrong). Fourteen Jedi have tried to ask him to be their apprentice. Yoda bashed twelve of them over the head with his stick before they could and Luke turned two down himself, the last three days before his birthday. He spends his last day as a twelve-year old following his dad around, both of them a little clingier than usual. Anakin has always thought that Yoda intended to take Luke as his Padawan but he’s literally hours from aging out and he’s seriously considering comming Ashoka and begging her to come act as backup, when Luke suddenly hugs Anakin hard and quick and Anakin looks over and sees Yoda waiting in the doorway.

Anakin hugs Luke back very, very tightly and then he lets him go. Luke already has his few things packed and waiting. Yoda harrumphs at him. “Ready, you are, padawan mine?”

Luke’s smile is blinding. “Yes, Master.”

Leia talks star systems into rejoining the Republic. Luke returns the Fallen to the Jedi. Dooku is the first and most fleeting (having not been killed by Anakin) – having been betrayed and split from Sidious – Luke finds him when he’s dying and gets Yoda to him in time for him to pass them information on Sidious’ new schemes and die a Jedi, with his old master at his side. There are others, after that, who Fell during the war and didn’t think they could ever return from it. Luke, bright and shiny and full of faith, sees them, thinks, I can fix this, and brings them home one by one.

After the second Return, which is unavoidably public, Leia and Obi-Wan look at each other and enlist everyone they can to begin working to make Luke the new poster boy for the Order. Luke is intensely embarrassed by this and a bit bumbling and shy about it, which just makes it more attractive to everyone. It also keeps the spotlight well away from their rebuilding efforts, which are way easier when there’s less press exposure.

Sidious, who would still like to capture and corrupt the twins, eventually stops trying with Luke because there’s only a 50/50 anyone he sends after him will come back and between years of Yoda’s training (ie dodging his stick), Luke’s innate Force sense and his dumb luck he’s practically impossible to kill.

(Sidious dies ignobly at the hands of a new apprentice, one of the Fallen who Luke has been trying to save. His defeat was always going to be someone else’s redemption.)  

Oh GOSH!

Everyone predicted Leia would eventually leave the order to follow in her mother’s footsteps but the SCANDAL that erupted when she married a former smuggler had the gossip rags going for years. Because circumstances sometimes change, but the Force will always find a way for certain absolutes. They have one son, and adopt several wayward young people along the way. 

Anakin is delighted by his grandson for all that he’s sad that he couldn’t share him with Obi-Wan, who passed just before he was born. Ben would follow his grandfather around like a baby duck and hated sharing him with the other younglings. He’d get so angry when he felt Anakin was giving the other children more attention than him. Anakin would gently explain that he couldn’t play favorites, but Ben would still react with anger and find a place to pout alone. 

He is five when he finds a nice secluded spot in the gardens, barely visible from the main path. A fountain sits in the center and Ben lets out his frustration by throwing small stones into it. He doesn’t notice Mace until he sits down right next to him and says “I like to come here too, when I’m angry.”

Ben is startled at first. Though he’s still small and largely untrained, no one has ever really snuck up on him before. He’s also never heard a master admit to being angry before. When questioned, Mace answers that everyone gets angry sometimes. The Jedi way isn’t the eradication of emotion, but the control of it. He brings Ben back to Anakin, who apologizes to the aging master for troubling him, but Mace dismisses the apology and tells him it was no trouble at all. Anakin glances sideways at Mace; they don’t always agree on things, but he can’t help but smile. It has been decades since Master Windu last took a padawan. 

As Ben grows older he excels in his lessons. He’s smart, persistent, and so, so powerful in the Force. He’s the very top of his class, and the only one who has yet to be chosen by a master. He still goes to the fountain when he finds himself at war with his emotions. Usually he meditates alone for a while until he is able to calm down, but sometimes, when he feels particularly lost, Master Windu will show up. At these times Ben will often ask for advice, but sometimes they will simply sit together in silence. 

Ben is desperate the day before he turns 13. He doesn’t understand how he could work so hard and not be noticed by a single master in the entire temple (which isn’t true, nearly everyone knows Ben Solo and can feel the pull of the Force around him. They also know they were not meant to guide him). He almost, almost comms his uncle and begs to take him as his padawan, but ultimately doesn’t because he knows how Luke follows the Force and if he were going to take him, he would have a long time ago. (Luke is busy anyway; a small girl in the outer rim is about to turn 3.) 

He goes out to the fountain to watch the sun set. The next day he’ll go before the Council of Reassignment to be placed into a division of the Jedi Service Corps. He supposes it wouldn’t be so bad to be placed into the Exploration Corps, he’d see much of the galaxy that way. He sits and plans and wills himself to not cry. After all, the Jedi way isn’t the eradication of emotion, but the mastery of it. 

Master Windu is still able to sneak up on him even though he’s doing so with a cane these days. Ben once held the hope that maybe the old master would take him as a padawan, but everyone knows Mace doesn’t take padawans anymore. His work on the Council is too important and he can’t give his precious time to a student, no matter what sort of strange bond has formed between them over the years. They sit for a moment before Ben breaks the silence. “What do you think my chances are of being assigned to the Exploration Corps?”

Mace seems to ponder the question for a moment. “Your scores in xenolinguistics is very high. You’ve also done very well in your survival field tests. You’d be a credit to the ExplorCorps.” He pauses for a moment. “Is that what you want to to do?”

Ben doesn’t give a straight answer, “It’s an honor,” he swallows the lump in his throat, “to be a part of the Service Corps.”

Mace sighs. “For someone who feels the Force so acutely, you have so little faith in it.” Ben winces. “Your patience leaves a lot to be desired. And you never really let go of anything.”

Ben is shaking. Of course. It doesn’t matter how well he does in his studies when the fundamentals of the ways of the Force is where he has always failed. He could never be a true Jedi. But it feels like the rawest betrayal when Mace says, “You can’t go into the Exploration Corps, Ben. Being left to drift through the galaxy unguided would be disastrous for you. You’d be very susceptible to the Dark Side if left alone.”

Ben’s eyes feel wet. He knows that too, though he’s never confessed to any of the masters about it. He was stupid to think he could hide it, though. The masters probably felt the Dark Side around him and rejected him outright. A bitter voice inside him resents them for dragging it out for so long. 

Then he feels a warm hand on his shoulder. “I’m not afraid of the Dark, Ben. And you shouldn’t be either.” In spite of Master Windu’s gentle tone, Ben can’t bare to look at him. “Self mastery is a life long pursuit that no one ever really accomplishes. You have to take it day by day, even I’m still learning. You have everything you need, you just have to remember that it is a choice you must make and commit to every day.”

Ben sniffs. “Yes, Master.” But when Ben looks up at Mace, he doesn’t see the cold face of a stern teacher or the disappointment of an unsatisfied elder. He doesn’t even see the sympathy that everyone has been directing towards him as he got closer and closer to his 13th birthday. Instead there is warmth and fondness.

“However,” he continues, “it’s not a path you need to travel alone. At least not at first… if you’ll have me as your master.”

Ben lunges at Mace and hugs him tight. “Do you really mean it?” 

Mace huffs a short laugh and ruffles the boy’s hair. “I’m too old to say things I don’t mean.” He pulls away. “But Ben, are you sure? I’m not the easier teacher.”

Finally able to hope again, Ben gives his master (his master!) a grin. “I’m not the easiest student!” 

Mace gives an actual laugh at that. “Good!” He pulls himself up. “Alright, lets go make it official. I know that grand-daddy of yours is dying to start gloating like the gossiping old hen he is.”

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takashi0

Beautiful

This is so great

WHY COULDN'T WE HAVE HAD THIS!?

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The new Star Wars books need to git gud

Here’s an unpopular (probably not) opinion: Disney needs to step up their game with the new Star Wars books.

I’m not saying all the new stuff is bad, mind you. Some of it was bad (Aftermath was painful), some of it was badly handled (the ending to Bloodlines still makes me mad for reasons that have nothing to do with canon), but a decent chunk of it would fit in nicely with the better parts of the old Legends material (which definitely wasn’t all good, either). But by my scorecard, they haven’t broken 8/10 yet. If they really want their material to be accepted as equal by the long-time fans, they need to come up with something to at least match this.

“Luke?”      The voice came softly but insistently. Pausing amid the familiar landscape of Tatooine–familiar, yet oddly distorted–Luke Skywalker turned to look.      An equally familiar figure stood there watching him. “Hello, Ben,” Luke said, his voice sounding sluggish in his ears. “Been a long time.”      “It has indeed,” Obi-wan Kenobi said gravely. “And I’m afraid that it will be longer still until the next time. I’ve come to say good-bye, Luke.”      The landscape seemed to tremble; and abruptly, a small part of Luke’s mind remembered that he was still asleep. Asleep in his suite in the Imperial Palace, and dreaming of Ben Kenobi.      “No, I’m not a dream,” Ben assured him, answering Luke’s unspoken thought. “But the distances separating us have become too great for me to appear to you in any other way. Now, even this last path is being closed to me.”      “No,” Luke heard himself say. “You can’t leave us, Ben. We need you.”      Ben’s eyebrows lifted slightly, and a hint of his old smile touched his lips. “You don’t need me, Luke. You are a Jedi, strong in the Force.” The smile faded, and for a moment his eyes seemed to focus on something Luke couldn’t see. “At any rate,” he added quietly, “the decision is not mine to make. I have lingered too long already, and can no longer postpone my journey from this life to what lies beyond.”      A memory stirred: Yoda on his deathbed, and Luke pleading with him not to die. Strong am I in the Force, the Jedi Master had told him softly. But not that strong.      “It is the pattern of all life to move on,” Ben reminded him. “You, too, will face this same journey one day.” Again, his attention drifted away, then returned. “You are strong in the Force, Luke, and with perseverance and discipline you will grow stronger still.” His gaze hardened. “But you must never relax your guard. The Emperor is gone, but the dark side is still powerful. Never forget that.”      “I won’t,” Luke promised.      Ben’s face softened, and again he smiled. “You will yet face great dangers, Luke,” he said. “But you will also find new allies, at times and places where you expect them least.”      “New allies?” Luke echoed. “Who are they?”      The vision seemed to waver and become fainter. “And now, farewell,” Ben said, as if he hadn’t heard the question. “I loved you as a son, and as a student, and as a friend. Until we meet again, may the Force be with you.”      “Ben–!”      But Ben turned, and the image faded… and in the dream, Luke knew he was gone. Then I am alone, he told himself. I am the last of the Jedi.      He seemed to hear Ben’s voice, faint and indistinct, as if from a great distance. “Not the last of the old Jedi, Luke. The first of the new.”

-Timothy Zahn, Heir to the Empire (1991) 5 years after the Battle of Endor (9 ABY)

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sanguith

I just discovered there is a small subreddit dedicated to google-translating (and actually dubbing, very professionally!!) the Star Wars movies and occasional SWR episodes from english into chinese and back into english again, making the subtitles change ridiculously, and it’s positively the most hilarious thing I’ve ever come across since I saw the LotR post about a similar thing, here are some highlights:

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there’s all these aus about vader finding luke and smuggling him away to the empire in a clever moment of mental clarity, but please consider this crack au: after being faced with slavery, his mother’s death, tusken raiders, sand, obi-wan kenobi, seeing the larses, and tatooine in general, vader lays eyes on toddler luke skywalker - his son, which meant palpatine lied, holy fuck i’m a father, oh god padme i’m so sorry - and flips.

this is the straw that breaks the semi-rational sith lord’s back. in true anakin skywalker fashion, vader panics, scoops his son into his arms, charges into mos espa and turns it upside down, steals a shuttle from his own fleet, slams random hyperspace coordinates, and is thrown into space with no real idea where he’s going or when he’s going to get there. with a toddler.

to make things more interesting, obi-wan snuck aboard the ship, but dropped his lightsaber in the ruckus of sneaking into imperial ranks. and poor, poor firmus piett, a lowly officer who just so happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time, runs smack into him.

and they’re all stuck on a ship, indefinitely. with a toddler.

sweet baby jesus i love this idea

just vader, picking up toddler luke under his arm like a football, and RUNNING LIKE FUCKING HELL

[darth vader voice] I HAVE YOU NOW

*toddler Luke SCREAMING the whole time*

obiwan just having a nervous breakdown “what what why are you doing this you’re evil but but what what is this someone shut that child up”

i love that people are contributing this is AMAZING

vader hefts the child into his arms - YOU CAN’T HAVE HIM - and literally turns away from everyone else like a kid with a new mcdonald’s toy. you can’t have him, YOU CAN’T EVEN LOOK AT HIM. luke quiets down because he’s up so high and he can see EVERYTHING and it’s fascinating. luke’s an easily impressed kid, after all. (and there are vents up here that he can nearly reach to crawl through!)

obi-wan: you can’t take luke from me, darth. vader, probably: LIKE YOU TOOK MY LIMBS???? HUH OBI-WAN????? HUH?????

What if at one point Obi-wan and Vader get all huffy and refuse to speak to each other and Piett has to act as the go between.

vader: tell that washed up old man that i know exactly what i’m doing

piett: …

piett: yes, lord vader

piett: excuse me, master jedi, but lord vader has everything under control

obi-wan: [huffs] That walking disaster hasn’t had anything under control since he was nine, and you can tell him i said that. In fact, i insist

piett: [looks into the camera like on the office]

oh god i have to write this now. you’ve convinced me, I AM SOLD. THERE IS ALMOST NOTHING BETTER THAN THIS IMAGE.

imagine it gets to the point where vader and obi-wan are screaming at each other with piett stuck in the middle, and luke, his attention torn away from the pretty lights on vader’s chest, clambers up and pats vader right over the respirator. “stop,” luke, a 2 year old, orders, patting sith lord darth vader gently on the face. “is mean,” announces luke.

vader re-settles luke in his arms. “say sowwy,” luke demands. vader, reluctantly, apologizes. he’s not taken with this child at all, obviously he’s just trying to earn luke’s respect, clearly. duh.

luke clambers off vader and toddles to piett to give him the biggest hug. “i sowwy,” says luke, solemnly. piett is about to faint. first lord vader, now the lordling? this is Too Much. vader’s probably giving piett the most terrifying death glare from behind his mask.

with the blessing of the Great and Powerful Luke Skywalker, piett can DEMAND THESE TWO STOP BEING CHILDREN but quietly, with a lot of respect.

obi-wan, meanwhile: i need a drink. i need a whole liquor bottle

I need to draw this

I said I would.

I THINK I’VE DIED AND ASCENDED TO HEAVEN

@deadcatwithaflamethrower have some crack, I feel you need it.

Everyone needs that kind of crack.  :)

I NEED THIS MORE THAN AIR

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Sometimes I just want to have a Jedi Master Shmi Skywalker. But not, like, a Shmi who was raised in the créche and somehow had Anakin while being a Jedi. I’m talking about newly-freed Shmi Skywalker accompanying her nine-year-old son to the Jedi Temple, and after the Council talks to Anakin they want to talk to her too. And they’re like, we’re not sure we can accept your son, he’s too scared and he has attachments

But, like, this is Newly-Freed Shmi Skywalker, and she never has to worry about getting sold again, never has to worry about getting beaten, about being someone else’s property, and sure all these people are called Masters but Shmi Skywalker is her own master now, and she walks into that room without an ounce of fear in her bones, and she’s like “why would I want my son to join you”

And somehow they get into a discussion on philosophy and the nature of attachment and by the end of it at least half the council is like “holy shit this woman hasn’t ever seen a jedi before a week ago and here she is holding her own against master yoda in a debate about morality what do we do” and the other half is like “I want this woman to be my padawan right now

And eventually, of course, she ends up as Master Yoda’s padawan.

So here’s the pretty conservative, no-older-padawans I’m-done-with-padawans Grand Master Yoda with not a slightly overaged but fully adult padawan 

And Anakin’s just sort of off in the background happy, with his mom in a safe space so he doesn’t have to worry about her, and Shmi giving tips like “he’s been a slave of course he gets anxiety about calling someone master” and other useful parental advice, and probably adopting Obi-Wan too (like honestly I get that he and qui-gon eventually got on but we both know that there is boatloads of internalized childhood bullshit going on there)

But Shmi trains with Yoda (Dooku’s sister-padawan oh my god) and I just sort of feel like she becomes the Jedi ideal but in a really weird way. Like she’s calm - of course she is, she knows how to be patient, how to endure - but also she is deeply attached, deeply emotive.

And there’s this concept that Fialleril uses, where Ekkreth is talking about how the Sith try to be a desert sandstorm, and Jedi try to be the bedrock - but he’s the desert, storm and sand and bedrock and all of it, and it’s just such a cool concept.

Shmi is just so cool sorry I had to write that out I’ve been thinking about it for a few days and wanted to share

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This is an amazing stupendous idea and I want a 50k word fanfic on my desk by Monday.

Okay but IMAGINE HER CLONES

You think Rex and Cody are protective of their Jedi?

You think Wolffe is protective of Plo?

Some poor new Shiny makes some mention to Wolffe about him being the most protective clone or some such and Wolffe starts laughing like “No, no kid. Go talk to General Skywalker?”

“Why would I talk to him?”

“No not the young one. The other one.”

The kid goes pale. “There’s another on?!” Because even he knows how batshit crazy Anakin can be when it comes to plans and things.

Wolffe just pats the kid on the shoulder and points him in the right direction. Right on queue, in walks General Shmi Skywalker and five or six of her men, all of whom are radiating loyal and protective fury to a terrifying degree.

Shmi was a slave, she learns quickly. When she hears her men speaking in Mando’a, she asks them to teach her. Now, 90% of their battle plans and interactions, on and off the field, are in Mando’a. She learns all their names in a heartbeat. They come to her with everything, from concerns about a battle plan (She immediately gathers all the people necessary and the rework the whole thing) to relationship issues. And every single man under her command would die for her in a heart beat, but they would also do their damnedest to come back alive because they know that dying for her is the last thing she ever wants them to have to do.

…. is there links to the beauty of this…??? (or if someone does write, holy crud, pleeeeease)

@poplitealqueen​, @punsbulletsandpointythings​, @… holy fuck I can’t believe this has over 400 notes, so just @ all of you

It’s not exactly 50k, but you did say by Monday, yeah?

Also on ao3

Shmi watches the Jedi, watches him bet with Watto, watches him watch Ani.

FUCKIN BLESS YOU MIRA YOU ACTUALLY DID IT IM SCREECHING

AHHH YES YES YES

SHE TAKES OUT HER TRACKER LIKE FUCK YOU AND I JUST

AHHH IF I DIDN’T HAVE WORK TOMORROW AND COULD AFFORD TO STAY UP KATE WRITING ID TOTALLY WANT TO ADD ON THIS IS AMAZING!!!

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kyraneko

*SCREECHING*

Oh my god, I love this so so so much, this is the BEST thing about stories and fandom, how you can take a different path at one point and go with it and you have a whole new story, similar but distinct, existing side by side with the original, a hundred stories, a million stories, one day back in the seventies a man decided to make a sci-fi movie and not quite forty years after that first Star Destroyer cut across the movie screen somebody who saw that sci-fi movie and its siblings sat back and thought “what if Shmi Skywalker was a Jedi?” and we have this right here, a whole galaxy changed.

Also: Shmi killing Palpatine. No flirting with the the Dark Side, no falling to hatred, just a clean bright anger like the blade of a knife, backed up with all her love for her son and her fellow Jedi, no elaborate fight with displays of power, no high-stakes struggle of good and evil, just a quick efficient gutting and his blades fall before they touch her. A chore, mildly distasteful and mildly satisfying at once, and she turns on her heel and walks away as the light is fading from his eyes; he is nothing to her.

Shmi at Anakin and Padme’s wedding. Shmi being the resason they’re allowed to get married, openly. The first wedding held at the Jedi Temple, with younglings and padawans throwing flowers and clones packing the audience.

Shmi with her grandbabies, holding them in her arms and it just hitting her like a brick, so that Yoda hears her sobbing and finds her clinging to the twins with tears running down her face, but he doesn’t feel pain in her through the Force, and he asks her about it, and she just looks at him with this beatific, half-wondering smile and says, “they’re free. these babies are free.”

And what if we had moments where Shmi and Qui-Gon got to talk and debate about the philosophy of the Jedi path? Like, canon already states that Qui-Gon was much more emotionally attuned than the Jedi Council were happy about (loved the hints of that in your story, @mirandatam), so I feel like he’d be kind of secretly (or not-so-secretly) pleased to have someone of a similar mind to talk to. Just imagine him becoming more and more impressed with Shmi as she grows and learns, and explicitly approving of the sort of motherly relationship she develops with Obi-Wan, who’s always needed a little extra guidance.

And just imagine aged Jedi Master Qui-Gon, after the Clone Wars, attending the wedding of Anakin and Padmé at Shmi’s and Obi-Wan’s side, proud and glad and amazed at this marvelous union between the seemingly-eternally-opposed serenity and turbulence of the Force. 

But Shmi’s pride outshines everyone else’s. Her son is free, and is wed to a strong, sweet, magnificent woman, and their children will be free to grow and love and learn and do however they please.

I need this so desperately badly. <3

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Some things I’ve been thinking about:

  • Han Solo was born 29 years before the battle of Yavin. that would make him 7 years old at the time of episode two, and 10 at the time of episode three. Basically, he would have been a young boy during the time of the Clone Wars. 
  • We know from the Revenge of the Sith novelization that the Jedi were greatly revered by everyone in the galaxy during the War, and were constantly on the galactic equivalent of television (HoloNet).
  • Naturally, Han Solo idolizing these Jedi, as any youngling does. 
  • A 7-year old Han Solo, on Corellia, playing Jedi vs. the Separatists with his friends.
  • He is constantly trying to use the Force in everything he does. He wishes that he could be a Jedi knight, like the ones on the HoloNet. He wishes he could wield a lightsaber, and move things with his mind. He efforts are, of course, fruitless every time he puts his hand in front of him and closes his eyes, and focuses with all that he has to move that pebble. 
  • Of the Jedi, Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker were the most popular and loved. 
  • “From the beginning of the Clone Wars, the phrase Kenobi and Skywalker has become a single word. They are everywhere. HoloNet features of their operations against the Separatist enemy have made them the most famous Jedi in the galaxy. Younglings across the galaxy know their names, know everything about them, follow their exploits as though they are sports heroes instead of warriors in a desperate battle to save civilization.” (Matthew Stover in the ROTS novelization)
  • Obviously, Han always insists on being Anakin Skywalker (some of the other kids whisper that the famous Jedi knight is the “chosen one”, whatever that means…) when him and his friends are playing. He even painted a tree branch as his lightsaber, and makes funny sounds with his mouth that him and all the other boys laugh about. 
  • He follows the Jedi’s movements obsessively, and he, naively, trusts the noble warriors will eventually bring an end to the War. The adults, though, are not so sure. The adults have a sickening suspicion that Jedi cannot be trusted.
  • But young Han Solo’s faith is unwaivering. When Chancellor Palpatine is captured by the evil General Grievous, Han eagerly watches the HoloNet. The adults fear the worst, that the separatists have won. But Han does not question for a minute that the righteous Jedi knights, Obi-Wan and Anakin, will pull through once again for the Republic.
  • And he’s right. The Chancellor is rescued, and everything seems like it is going fine. The Separatists will surely be defeated soon, and the War will be over. 
  • Then, the Jedi temple is burning, like that. Over the HoloNet, Han hears that the Jedi have betrayed the Republic, and does not believe it for a minute. The unbeatable duo of Obi-Wan and Anakin are dead. The adults were all right. 
  • Han sees pictures taken of the burning Jedi temple over the HoloNet. He burns his mock lightsaber made from a tree branch. The Empire is established, the Jedi order gone.  
  • Han thinks, and starts to believe, that maybe the Jedi’s power was all a hoax the whole time. He stops trying to use the Force to do things. It never did work, anyways. 
  • And when he meets the young boy Luke Skywalker and the old Ben Kenobi in the cantina of Mos Eisley, bearing the surnames of his childhood heroes, he shakes his head and decides that it must be some sort of strange coincidence.

and oh my god, like. part of the reason han is so snappy with luke in anh is that he sees luke, with his hope and his wonder and his eagerness, and he sees his younger self. and too bad for the kid, he thinks, he’s gonna learn the hard way that none of it means anything, that it’s all simple tricks and nonsense, but that’s life. but still, there’s this little part of han, this little voice in his head saying, “what if…” what if there’s something to it after all, the old man could be the jedi kenobi, he’s the right age, even looks a little like him… han tries to shut those thoughts down, tell himself not to be so soft, but then kenobi dies and he can’t help it, he feels like he’s lost that childhood innocence all over again. but he’s been there already, it’s more of a dull ache than the sharp world-rending pain he felt years ago. and then there’s luke, being hit with that loss all at once, and leia, bearing the weight of a world that is no longer there at all, and these two STILL have faith in people, in the cause, in something other than themselves. and han, seven years old or twenty-nine, couldn’t leave then if he tried.

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Mila demanded to try and make a life size BB-8 this morning. She ran around playing the theme song to Star Wars, then we went outside to battle the dark side.

The greatest thing Star Wars has brought to her is her love of robots. She wants to know how they work, how to construct them and if they can love.

Mind you, I’ve never been into Star Wars, still haven’t seen all the originals… Just don’t tell Mila.

GIVE THAT GIRL A LIGHTSABER SHE’S READY!

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themarysue

OH MY GOD

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thoughts about Finn

I’m already seeing a lot of portrayals of Finn’s backstory as a Stormtrooper hinging on wanton violence and trauma. But I wonder if anyone has considered that the way Troopers are conditioned might be by an excess of care/attention, not by violence? I mean, we have evidence of that reading in the fact that Finn’s negative reaction is noted and pursued by his commanding officer. That demonstrates a heightened awareness of each of the troopers, not a lack of care. I wonder if maybe the medical care for troopers–as an example–was absolutely the best that money can buy, but not offered with pleasantries. Like, maybe Finn has had medical care thousands of times but usually he was put under sedation at the drop of a hat rather than allowed to stay conscious and engaged with the medical process. Like, maybe the biggest difference between his current medical care and what he experienced as a trooper is that they’re going to explain what they’re doing at every step now and he’s going to have to push himself to heal, not rely on them making it easy on him.

Like, if a trooper got a spinal injury, wouldn’t it make sense for the clearly affluent First Order to simply replace the spine and, like, build new muscle tissue or whatnot, rather than putting a trooper through longterm physical therapy and making him choose which course of treatment he wants.

Also, I think it’s worth thinking about how everything is easy as a trooper, but nothing is personal and that might be another key difference. I totally buy the idea of Finn being chronically touch-starved and unable to assert choices, though. I am loving that trend in the fic. I bet other key differences could include:

  • now he has to own things and remember where they are. Like, he takes off his shoes outside and then forgets that, you know, they’re his and he has to come back barefoot to find them later
  • also remembering how stuff belongs to other people too. Like, he doesn’t recognize the gesture as significant when Poe gives him the jacket. It’s not until Poe says it, maybe even later when he thinks about it again, that it’s a gift.
  • having to remember names is probably very hard. and then finding out people have two names each, that probably frustrates him and blows his mind equally.
  • it might take him a while to understand how different people’s backgrounds are. like, maybe he assumes everyone knows how to use a lightsaber because Rey was good at it. If Rey knows it, he just assumes everyone knows it. That’s the way it was for troopers: everyone knew exactly the same things. You never chatted about your childhood because it was exactly identical to everyone else’s. He probably grows to really love hearing people talk about their pasts. He probably makes a lot of friends by being just utterly charmed by the most prosaic of stories.
  • i bet the messiness of the base bothers him. i bet he has to keep telling himself it’s fine that no one has scoured that wall over there, it’s totally fine. because he clearly wants to go find a bucket and a sponge and just bleach the fuck out of that mold.
  • god, he is actually probably the neatest ever. once he gets a hang of the idea of this being his room, he probably keeps it fucking spotless

#tfa spoilers#this is SUCH an excellent post especially the point about the difference between an excess of care and personalized care#I was just talking to someone about the first order’s strategies for depersonalization#(there specifically I was talking about sex and relationships between stormtroopers but the same principles apply)#the first order will treat you well they will look after you—you’ll have the best care availible#because the first order maintains their machinery#and that’s all finn is#he is not an individual any more than a wire is an individual or a circuit board is an individual; and the first order works hard#to ensure that mindset is instilled in their soldiers#but from the moment poe asks “are you good with finn?”#it’s a total paradigm shift#because being asked a specific and personal opinion is new#when the med-bot asks him if it is acceptable to administer the anti-cortisol shot finn just blinks at it#not realizing it’s actually waiting for a response#they serve—whatever the space equivalent of brussel sprouts is at the resistance mess hall and poe makes a face#scrapes them onto rey’s plate (she’ll eat anything like the desert ration-starved orphan she was)#and when finn asks why poe says “I’ve never liked brussel sprouts” like it’s nothing#like that’s….something you can say#finn is stunned and delighted at the amount of personhood he is suddenly allowed#it’s wonderful I love it#star wars#(touch-starved and delighted and overwhelmed and he is so loved)#(already)#(that’s the first thing he gets)#(what a BABE)

[tag novel by @notbecauseofvictories]

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Skywalker Organa Solo

I put this together mostly for my own reference but… I thought it was too cool not to post. An hour well spent. Appearance-wise, I found Ben takes after Leia more around the eye/brow area and also cheekbones…While the rest is pretty much Han. Of course that’s not counting their shared sense of dry humour, Leia’s short fuse and Han’s snark but we already knew he inherited those. ;) For those who doubt the casting.

this is perfect

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