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#perf – @i-say-no-to-status-quoo on Tumblr
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Elon Made Me Come Back

@i-say-no-to-status-quoo / i-say-no-to-status-quoo.tumblr.com

Alanna, back at it again with new hyperfixations. This year’s special: OFMD pirate brain rot 🏴‍☠️
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#lemme give you a rundown of my life #i’ve spent 60 years in the wilds of the north being a god damn ranger #i’ve tracked down motherfuckin gollum and brought him to mirkwood #do you know what mirkwood is #do you know the kind of spiders that live there #yeah i thought not #i have battled orc armies in THREE CONSECUTIVE MOVIES #I HAVE RAN ACROSS THE FIELDS OF ROHAN #do you know how big that is #it’s like the english countryside but as big and as wide as motherfuckin canada #(i’m guessing) #i have battled the RINGWRAITHS. ya that’s right. all nine of them. WITH A TORCH. AND FOUR HOBBITS WIELDING TOOTHPICKS. #with the one ring as bait #i have been dragged down a cliff by a fuckin warg #i have summoned the armies of the dead to defeat the corsairs of umbar #i have lived a hard motherfuckin life and if you think bad dental hygiene will scare me then bitch the only scary thing about that is the amount of STDs i can catch if i stick my tongue in your mouth #go home. you’ve been dismissed.
THE MOST FUCKING PERFECT OF TAGS

Aragorn’s bitch-please face

Source: shephards
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So I just need to get this off my chest:

For me David Kawena from Lilo and Stitch is the ultimate Disney prince because he is there for Nani AND Lilo and even Stitch despite everything that’s going on in their lives. They’re going through some tough stuff. Their parents die and all of the sudden Nani has to be a mom to her sister who is socially awkward and depressed and that’s hard enough as it is and then she gets her this ‘dog’ and everything gets harder and even though she can’t return David’s feelings he’s still there for them through everything. Even aliens. He’s amazing. I was watching Lilo and Stitch with my niece the other day and I cried watching David go through it all. He is the perfect guy. Like I just get emotional thinking about him.

Imagine if you had someone like David in your life - male or female. You would feel like a prince/princess even if you were living with next to nothing.

David is the ultimate Disney prince - even though he isn’t a Disney prince. He should be considered one.

Disney rant - over.

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mamasam

Reminder that David:

-has no curse to break -does not have a deadline/ultimatum to find a wife -has no financial/social gain from being with Nani -is told 1/4 of the way into the movie that Nani is too busy to worry about dating him AND PROCEEDS TO BE HELPFUL AND SUPPORTIVE ANYWAY.

David’s not a Disney prince because he’s too fucking awesome for that title. 

AN ACTUAL NON-IRONIC,NON-SELF DESCRIBING NICE GUY. 

A PROPER HUMAN BEING. 

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i have an idea in my head where thor is just like. painfully incapable of being cissexist.

like some transphobic reporter asks him abt his sexuality and he’s “i have been attracted to many of your midgardian genders” and “what” and “my current paramor is genderqueer” “are they male or female” “they are neither of those two genders, that is what i have just said!” “oh well what were they born as" "oh no, dear friend, u appear to be confusing genderqueer with genderfluid! the lady mystique assures me that these are two very different things, [extremely extended explanation]"

y/y

oh  my gosh yes

"but what are they biologically?”

"…they are human."

oh my god

"But what is between their legs?!"

"That is not of your concern, but on a good  day, myself!"

IM SCREAMING

on a good day, myself… *dies*

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barbeauxbot

BECAUSE WHY THE FUCK WOULD AN ALIEN GOD PRINCE CARE ABOUT OUR ARBITRARY CLASSIFICATIONS

HIS NEPHEW IS A HORSE AND HIS BROTHER IS THE MOTHER

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