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#i'm screaming – @i-say-no-to-status-quoo on Tumblr
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Elon Made Me Come Back

@i-say-no-to-status-quoo / i-say-no-to-status-quoo.tumblr.com

Alanna, back at it again with new hyperfixations. This year’s special: OFMD pirate brain rot 🏴‍☠️
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sqrrlbot
Anonymous asked:

If he had been frustrated before he was doubly so now. Intellectually he understood the benefits of such exercises. The focus, the discipline over the body should extend into the soul. However, he was finding himself having to discipline entirely other… areas of his anatomy all together. And how exactly was he intended to focus when with each passing moment he was greeted with a new tantalizing position in which to appreciate the very generous curves of Abbie’s body. (1/5 )

How many times now has he had to drag his eyes away from her glowing skin, her lips pursed with effort, the muscles of her midriff as she arched forward, her chest, her legs, her backside. Worse, there was small part of him it enjoying it immensely, already finding the right words, the correct expressions, the perfect playful moment that would send the tension between ratcheting ever higher. This was Hell. He was the worst kind of rake. He has to put an end to this. (2/5)
Quite done, he stands and apologizes. Abbie shoots him a look and then reaches for a towel, runs it along elegant line of her neck and collar bone. Ichabod distractedly realizes he is still talking. “Fine.” she says smiling and laughing, tossing the towel at him. He catches it and is immediately reminded that knights were once presented with handkerchiefs as tokens of their lady’s favor. (3/5)
“Yoga doesn’t make you feel better.” she says and something in her tone has him looking up from his absentminded folding. She gazes up at him from beneath her lashes and he is caught yet again in the allure of her eyes and skin and mouth. “What would?” (4/5)
And for a moment he is truly lost because he knows exactly with full clarity what would make him feel better and it would be taking his partner against wall of his shower, laying her out right there on that mat and eating her to completion, kissing her awake from the comfort of his bed on the morrow’s eve. But he would settle for a beer. (5/5)

Omg, I have no idea who you are or what I’ve done to deserve this but this is the single best thing I’ve ever woken up to and you’re amazing and awesome and need to write ALL THE FIC and I love you and this is the best day ever. *falls down on the floor*

Guyyyyys, look at this, look at what this anon sent me! 

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voodooling
Do you want to play deductions?
Or play crime fighting British spies?
I think some company is overdue
I started talking to
my telescopic slides.
It gets a little lonely
Not having much of friends
I really thought you were mine….
Mycroft?
Please…
I know you’re in there…
I do not have no where else to go…
(x)

Sherlock x Frozen crossover from my livestream! The new episode of Sherlock gave me a lot of Holmes Bros feels so here are some more =) Thank you to everyone who came to watch my first livestream! It was a lo t of fun!

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okay today i learned that apparently the penis has a say in whether or not a child will be a boy or a girl

female sperm swims slower than male sperm, but the males can’t swim for as long as the females. this means that a long penis will be closer to the egg when releasing the sperm, and there will be a higher chance for the child to be a boy.

so in conclusion

if you have a lot of sons you have a big dick

FUCK WHAT KIND OF POST IS THIS

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he fucking bites his lip i hate him

He is so fucking amused at the effect he has on women.

Look at him in that last gif. YOU ARE NOT SORRY AT ALL ARE YOU, TOM.

HE’S NOT SORRY EVEN A LITTLE BIT

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WHENEVER I’M UPSET I REMEMBER THAT THIS EXISTS AND NOTHING SEEMS SO BAD

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deerthing

I CAN’T FUCKiNG HANDLE THIS

I’m pretty sure this video is actually some sort of diagnostic tool, because if you can still feel miserable while watching this, it’s almost certainly a sign something significant is going on. 

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