okay sorry I had to color it but let me reiterate: 🥺
You ever just think about how Stede has never been desired in his life?
How he was told consistently since he was a child that he was soft and weak by his father, haunted by fatphobic rhetoric from his school mates, treated like a nuisance by his wife.
Do you ever think about how he hides himself under fancy clothes, probably believing hes not much to look at? That hes plain? Fashionable, sure, but not particularly attractive.
Do you ever think about how, once theyve made up, Ed and Stede will fumble through kisses like horny teenagers, not even able to get fully undressed before finishing. How Stede will be grateful that Ed didnt have to look at his body, afraid it would dampen the mood.
Do you think about how, one night, Ed might move to take off Stedes shirt, and Stede will freeze, suggest they draw the curtains or put out the lights, just like he and Mary always did, because hes certain that Ed does not want to see his body, and he doesnt want to ruin what they have.
Do you think about how Ed will inqure, gently and with curiosity, and become flabbergasted when Stede says "oh, we both know I'm not much to look at. I'm sure we'll both enjoy this more if you dont have to look at me. Though I'd be more than amenable if you'd like to finish getting undressed. I can just keep my shirt on."
Do you think about how Ed would stare, dumbfounded, at the most beautiful man he's ever laid eyes on stating that hes "not much to look at" and feel the sting of realization that Stede has never been loved right.
Do you think about how Ed will undress Stede slowly, every inch of him between whispered assurances that he finds every part of Stede beautiful, that he has wanted norhing more than to spend his entire life looking at Stede Bonnet, and has wanted that since the moment they laid eyes on one another.
Do you think about how Stede would tear up, in shock hearing something he never thought was possible - he is wanted, desired, adored, by the most beautiful man he has ever laid eyes on, and these words are just for him.
Do you think about that?
Because i do.
WAIT! WAIT A MINUTE HOLY SHIT-!
I can’t believe I didn’t IMMEDIATELY notice this while I was writing it but in a recent post I mentioned that Stede’s life is so incredibly depressing pre-canon because he’s essentially forced upon nearly everyone who’s supposed to be close to him.
He’s with Mary because of an arranged marriage, they almost definitely didn’t want to have children together, and his children didn’t ask to be born, nor can they truly grasp why he’s so distant. He’s not important to his family because they love eachother (although I’m sure they do, just not able to fully express it forced into this structure), he’s important because they’d supposedly be much worse off financially without his wealth. It’s the same with his father. He seems to hold little to no affection for Stede, but as a son Stede must carry on the Bonnet name, continue to ensure it’s associated with wealth and prestige.
I thought this was a weird line at first, but now I finally get it, and it’s fucking brilliant. Stede has no lack of being needed. He knows what it’s like to be relied on, he’s spent decades as the head of a family almost no one involved wanted, and now he manages a crew he clearly feels great love and responsibility for. A response like “of course I do” no matter how well meaning would’ve been inadvertently the worst thing to say because Stede has been hurt by the concept of obligation.
This is someone showing him he’s wanted and confirming that with words. Stede’s being told he’s worth these acts of love just by virtue of staying alive and being in Ed’s presence. It’s such a simple declaration… and it’s so terribly tragic that all he seems to hear is “you better make this worth my while.”
How to get away with murder 2x13: Something bad happened
Till the end?
Till the end.
If someone said three years from now You’d be long gone I’d stand up and punch them out ‘Cause they’re all wrong, yeah That last kiss I’ll cherish Until we meet again… - Who Knew (Pink)
from the pilot to the beginning of the end
Arkos finally happened but at what cost (via youcancallmedale)
something tells me this isn’t going to end amicably
Wonder what gave that away
3 more days. JUST 3 MORE DAYS.
THIS HAS A WHOLE NEW MEANING NOW
Moritz trades his voice for a gun in his last scene in Deaf West Spring Awakening.
So… who else is dreading/excited about next episode?