2011: Gnomeo and Juliet

2018: Sherlock Gnomes

2025 (Projected): Gnomance of the Three Kingdoms

I may have had an overly romantic understanding of how a universal remote works

"this is a magic keychain that lets you unlock any door"

wait, really?

"well okay it's not magic. turns out most people out there only use a lock that fits one of ten different keys, so one of them will probably work"

okay but what if they use a different kind of lock?

"then it doesn't open that door"

Through trial and error I found a key that unlocks my front door and my bathroom and I don't really need any of the other rooms so I'll make do

Some Non-Dilemmas

You need to cross a river with a wolf, a goat, and some cabbages. If left alone, the wolf will eat the goat, and the goat will eat the cabbages. There is a large, sturdy bridge across the river. What do you do?

After crossing the river and dropping off the animals, you encounter an abandoned infant in a field. You aren't responsible for the infant being there, but it may die if it receives no care. Emergency services will pick up the infant and arrange for its care if alerted to its presence. Do you have any obligation to do anything?

Continuing on your journey, you suddenly realize that a speeding trolley is barreling towards 5 people and will likely kill them if unimpeded. However, there is a lever nearby. If you pull this lever, you can engage an emergency braking system, halting the trolley. What do you do?

Eventually, you make it home. You and your roommate decide to relax after a long day with a game of table tennis. Is this moral?

Afterwards, you turn on the radio and listen to a popular station in your room. A song you like starts playing. You have good noise insulation and will not disturb your roommate. Is it permissible for you to sing along?

You have been invited to a party. At this party, you and your friends have all decided to pick different hats from a large bin of hats and put them on with your eyes closed. All of you can see the color of each other's hats. What is the most efficient way to determine what color your hat is?

One of your friends likes the color pink. After this hat exercise is over, he chooses to wear a pink hat. Is this moral?

[After putting "feature length Grease-style musical about a violent and amoral mercenary company set during the Thirty Years War" into the AI video generator and receiving a work of art greater than any yet produced by mankind] I liked the song with the pope

"a painting showing sunset over an open plain with rocks and boulders"

Dom Luís I Bridge, Porto, Portugal image credit: u/rockystl on Reddit

how could you cut out the follow up example tho

mutuals do this

oh Microsoft you've still got it

bite each others dicks off I guess

god I hope so

Here’s how Bernie can still win

oh ok. It's clear what Bernie must do