I fucking love fronting and posting on my silly little blog and wearing the clothes I made for me and listening to my edgy playlists and bickering with my headmates over who has to do the dishes and working on both personal and systemwide projects and going on discord and talking to the friends we're out to I FUCKING LOVE EXISTING
*jigsaw voice* singlet. you are listening to a system describe an inner relationship. you must explain your view of why it is morally wrong without using the word “narcissistic”. if you fail, the snare around your neck will snap and it will be game over. you have one hour.
edit: ENDOGENIC SYSTEMS ARE MY SIBLINGS
Being fictive-heavy plural is like "I have this headcanon about this character" *describes the fictive of said character who lives in my head*
i ❤ endo systems
fictive culture is searching yourself up on social media websites and being oh so very confused on how they characterize you.
- vivia twilight
I think if all the versions of Odysseus met they would fight
tmw doubles (we love doubles actually, our Odysseus would die in a puddle of happy tears if he met another one)
- Fin 🍾
Fictive culture is hyperfixating on Sonic exe and then realizing that most if not all different versions of him are here.
Immaculate
my headmates arent all my friends or family really i think "headmate" is a relationship in itself. like yeah i consider some of these people like my family or my friends or my partners or whatever but some of them are just Guys I Share A Body With, which is too close for "peer" or "acquaintance" but were not necessarily friends yk
"endos make a mockery of REAL systems" "ace people make a mockery of REAL queer people" "nonbinary people make a mockery of REAL trans people" "self-diagnosed people make a mockery of REAL disabled people" "bisexuals make a mockery of REAL gay people" "non-dysphoric trans people make a mockery of REAL trans people" "trans lesbians make a mockery of REAL lesbians"
arent you tired? arent you tired? arent you tired?
This is our own post covering unmasking as a system, something that we have been able to accomplish to an extent that we are quite comfortable with. We hope that it will prove useful to some of y’all!
Disclaimer: we are one system with DID, and we can only provide our own perspective at this time. What has worked for us may or may not work for you, so use your best discretion when following the advice listed here!
What is masking?
Masking is the concept of hiding, disguising, and/or suppressing neurodiversity in an attempt to appear neurotypical. Neurodiverse people may mask for a wide variety of reasons, including to help keep themselves safe, to fit in and make friends, to avoid drawing unwanted attention, to be taken seriously by others, and more. While masking most often refers specifically to autistic experience, anyone with any sort of neurodiversity can mask.
Masking vs. Covertness
Quite often, complex dissociative disorders like DID are covert, meaning their symptoms may not be easily noticed or recognized by outsiders. Having covert symptoms is not the same as masking! It is possible to live a happy, healthy life with a covert disorder, without ever needing to “unmask” or trying to make your symptoms more noticeable.
What’s most important is learning how to live an authentic life that helps you and your system feel safe, comfortable, and happy as you are! In fact, attempting to unmask when in actuality your disorder is just covert, this could have negative, harmful, or otherwise adverse affects on your system. It’s never good to try and force yourself or your headmates to be something you’re not, and this goes for systems with covert symptoms and presentations!
What does masking look like?
In systems, masking can look like:
- other headmates acting like the host when they front
- the whole system adopting similar mannerisms in order to appear as a singlet
- acting like memories, events, and things around you are cohesive and make sense to you when they really aren’t
- pretending to recognize others or recall information that you simply cannot remember
- attempting to quell or silence internal communication and dialogues between other system members
- consciously or unconsciously ignoring signs or plurality in your own life
- copying or mirroring the actions and behaviors of the singlets you meet and interact with
And so much more! Every system is different, so masking can look very different from system to system.
How can we unmask?
Unmasking is a process that may take lots of time, patience, and effort to achieve. But it most certainly can be done! Here are a few steps you may take while undergoing this transition from masking to unmasking:
1) Recognize when you are masking.
Try to notice when you or your system members are attempting to hide, disguise, or otherwise conceal your plurality. What actions do you take to mask? What situations do you find it easier or more difficult to mask? Do certain headmates tend to mask more than others? Do you tend to mask more around certain people and places?
At this stage there’s no need to try and stop masking immediately. Just try to take it slowly and start noticing masking behaviors as they arise. If you have a system journal or some other place where you all keep thoughts organized, perhaps make a list of the masking behaviors you all are noticing in your system. Recognizing behaviors is a solid first step towards changing them!
2) Understand why you are masking.
Quite often systems mask as a self-defense mechanism. Are you in a safe environment? Do you still live, work, or associate with abusers or others who would not understand your plurality? Who benefits from your system masking? Who is harmed? Is masking easy and second-nature for your system, or is it difficult and exhausting? These sorts of questions can help answer whether or not it will be safe to mask, and whether or not you actually are masking or just have a covert/less noticeable presentation for your system.
3) Have internal conversations.
To better understand yourself, your system, why you mask, and when you mask, internal communication is key. You may have headmates who are purposefully masking in order to protect themselves and your whole system. You may have in-system roles and functions that are specifically dedicated to masking. You may have headmates who were masking without even being aware that they were doing so. Having lots of safe, open, and welcoming discussions with your headmates can help you better understand masking in your own system, and how best to formulate a plan to unmask in your daily life.
You may ultimately come to the conclusion that masking is what’s best for your system at this time, and that’s okay! Please prioritize your own health and safety over your desire to be your authentic selves. Sometimes it just isn’t safe to attempt unmasking. You know yourself, your system, and your situation best, so try to work together with your headmates to come up with a plan that works well for everyone!
4) Encourage internal and external authenticity.
Once you have a good idea of when, why, and how your system masks, you can start taking steps to change these actions and behaviors (granted, that you are in a safe place to do so!). In our experience, this can be achieved by encouraging headmates to branch off in their own ways as they have the desire to do so. Creating a safe space inside where headmates can feel secure in exploring their identities is crucial for unmasking!
It may happen slowly, but it starts by encouraging small actions and desires that headmates have which differ from each other. A headmate wants to use a specific tonal inflection that’s different from fellow members? Go for it! A headmate wants to engage in an activity that is uncharacteristic for their system as a whole? As long as it’s safe, do it! Creating an internal environment of acceptance and then encouraging each other to embrace small moments of authenticity can help chip away at that mask.
5) (if possible) Build an outside safe space.
If your system has another person in your life who knows about your plurality and is willing to accept you all unconditionally, this can be incredibly healing and work wonderfully to help unmask. Just existing around our therapist and our partner system have helped us to embrace our individuality and accept our unique features when fronting. If there is a loved one in your life who knows about your system, maybe try explaining the concept of masking to them, and ask them to help support you through this unmasking process.
If there is no one in your life who you can safely unmask around, you can still try to practice unmasking by doing so when you are alone. But please, try to center your system’s safety as you go about this process! Don’t attempt to unmask if masking is what’s keeping your system safe, healthy, and alive.
6) Don’t compare yourselves to others.
It may be tempting to compare how your system functions to others. Some systems might have never had to mask. Some might find unmasking to be a quick and easy process. Just because it may be difficult for you doesn’t mean that it’s impossible! Please try to avoid comparing yourselves to other systems, and even other headmates in your own system. Some headmates may be able to unmask more easily than others, and that’s okay! Respect each headmate’s individual needs and abilities, and go at your own pace.
What if we go back to masking after unmasking for a while?
This is only natural! After habits have been built up and practiced for so long, it can be difficult to change them in a permanent way. Masking after unmasking for a while is nothing to be ashamed of, and doesn’t mean your system has lost any progress! Many systems may find that their unmasking process happens in waves or cycles, with each cycle of unmasking followed by a masking period. The more and longer you’re able to unmask, the shorter your next masking cycle may be!
Don’t give up! If you find that your system has reverted to old ways, simply start at the beginning, show yourselves patience and understanding, and start recognizing when you mask once again.
In Conclusion
A TLDR might be: masking, or hiding/concealing neurodivergent traits, is common in neurodivergent people. Masking is not the same as having covert symptoms, so please try and understand the differences before attempting to unmask. Masking can look incredibly different and have a wide range of presentations. By learning about yourself, understanding when, why, and how you mask, having internal conversations about masking, encouraging authenticity, building internal and external safe spaces, and having patience with yourselves, you can start trying to unmask. Having a safe person to be open with about your plurality may help with this process, and avoiding comparing yourselves to others can help too! If you regress, backslide, or go back to masking after a while, that does not invalidate your progress - keep going and don’t give up! In all of this, center your system’s safety and security, and don’t attempt to unmask if it could be dangerous for your system.
We’re sorry this got so long (this is actually a very complex topic!) but we hope this helps! If anyone has any further questions regarding masking or unmasking as a system, don’t hesitate to reach out. And of course, we are just one system providing our perspective, so don’t be alarmed if what we’ve said here isn’t all that applicable to your system.
If you’ve made it this far, thank you so much for taking the time to read! We’re wishing you and your system the very best of luck in your unmasking endeavors. Take care, and have a wonderful day!
Sometimes being a system is "yes this one person has been fronting alone for the past five hours"
And sometimes it's "there's like 13 people near front and god knows which one of them is actually in control of the body right now"
I don't see this talked about very often, so shout out to the non-disordered systems who have disordered traits!
Shout out to non-disordered systems who have dissociation!
Shout out to non-disordered systems who experience dissociation between switches!
Shout out to non-disordered systems who struggle to ground themselves!
Shout out to non-disordered systems who experience dissociation which is totally unrelated to their plurality!
Shout out to non-disordered systems who have amnesia!
Shout out to non-disordered systems who have strong barriers between members, making it hard or impossible to share memories!
Shout out to non-disordered systems who are amnesiac due to a traumatic brain injury, rather than their plurality!
Shout out to non-disordered systems who forget things easily and have to write notes to remember!
Shout out to non-disordered systems who have to write notes to be able to communicate with other members!
Shout out to non-disordered systems who have both dissociation and amnesia!
And shout out to all the other non-disordered systems who have disordered traits and combinations of traits which I haven't mentioned here!
Too often, we see the assumption that dissociation and/or amnesia + system = disordered, and as a non-disordered system who experiences dissociation ourselves, it's somewhat frustrating to feel left out of the discussions. To be disordered, there needs to be the key element of clinically-significant distress.
So, to everyone from the most dissociated, amnesiac system out there who doesn't feel distress from their symptoms, to the system who has only occasional bouts of dissociation from sensory issues, to the system who has difficulty remembering things due to brain injury, this post goes out to you!
The intersection of plurality and autism is higher than many folks may think! Lots of systems out there find that they are both plural and autistic (our system included)! Autistic systems deserve to be uplifted, celebrated, and accepted into the plural community as they are with open arms. So here’s to all the autistic systems out there!
♾ Shoutout to systems identify as autigenic whose plurality manifested partially or fully as a result of their autism!
🌈 Shoutout to autistic systems with collective or individual special interests, or who sometimes develop new headmates due to their special interests!
✨ Shoutout to autistic systems who are sensory seeking, who stim often or seek out positive, pleasant, or intense sensations!
♾ Shoutout to autistic systems who struggle to express themselves and be understood properly by the people they interact and engage with!
🌈 Shoutout to autistic systems who are sensory avoidant, or who are harmed and distressed by certain sensations!
✨ Shoutout to autistic systems who are nonspeaking, nonverbal, or use AAC, sign language, communication cards, or other tools to effectively communicate!
♾ Shoutout to autistic systems with headmates who are symptom holders or who hold on to some of their particular autistic traits!
🌈 Shoutout to autistic systems who need help from caregivers internally or externally in order to live happy, healthy lives!
✨ Shoutout to autistic systems who often feel lonely and isolated, or who struggle to establish and maintain relationships, either inside or outside their system!
♾ Shoutout to autistic systems who have been traumatized by others in their life attempting to treat or cure their autism, ignoring their autism, or refusing to provide proper accommodations and accessibility!
🌈 Shoutout to systems who are questioning whether or not they are autistic or are aiming to one day self-diagnose!
✨ Shoutout to autistic systems who love their neurodiversity and have embraced it as a part of their collective identity!
♾ Shoutout to autistic systems who are often exhausted from masking their autism, their plurality, or both!
🌈 Shoutout to autistic systems who have unique ways of perceiving, understanding, and engaging with the world!
Autistic systems, you not only belong here in the plural community, but by being here you help make our spaces a better place! We hope that your future is filled with happy memories and pleasant experiences, and you find yourselves surrounded by people who care about you and want to support you! Know that there is absolutely nothing wrong with being yourself and expressing yourself in ways that bring you comfort and joy.
We love you, we’re rooting for you, and we’re wishing you the very best in all that you do! We hope that you can find the time to relax today and treat yourself and your system with gentleness and compassion. Thank you so much for reading, and have a wonderful day!
System littles (or syskids) make up a diverse group of system members, and no two syskids are exactly alike. Many are calm, focused, and capable and do not like to be viewed or treated as actual children! These desires are worth respecting - every headmate deserves to be treated in ways that uplift and affirm them, even if others have difficulties understanding their individual needs. So here’s to all the syskids who don’t like being infantilized!
🐻 Shoutout to syskids with important jobs, who help their system by going to work, managing finances, driving, or doing other tasks normally performed by adults!
🚂 Shoutout to syskids with emotional maturity, who are effective at regulating and processing big, scary emotions!
⭐️ Shoutout to syskids who are hosts and handle much of their system’s day-to-day lives!
🎻 Shoutout to syskids who, despite being calm and collected, still love to play, goof around, and have fun!
💐 Shoutout to syskids who have lost their sense of childhood due to trauma, or who feel like an adult because of the trauma they hold on to!
🦄 Shoutout to syskids who do not like to be referred to as young, little, small, or a baby, child, or toddler!
☀️ Shoutout to syskids in committed relationships who are capable of consenting and being loving sexual and romantic partners!
🎈 Shoutout to syskids who hold important, often complex or taxing inside roles like gatekeeper, manager, and caretaker!
🐯 Shoutout to syskids who have adult-oriented desires, hobbies, and interests!
🎀 Shoutout to syskids who are age sliders, and feel more childlike in some moments than others!
Syskids and system littles, you are such a cherished, valued, and important part of both your system and the whole plural community! It’s okay if you don’t always feel like a kid, don’t want to be treated like a kid, do lots of things that kids normally can’t do, or don’t fit the mold of what syskids often look like! You are special and you matter just the way you are. Whether you don’t understand your experiences sometimes, or you look back on them with great clarity, your identity as a system little and a headmate in your own system is still valid!
We hope you can soon find some time to have fun, enjoy a treat, or get some rest. Remember that it’s important to try and meet your needs, too! And if you need to ask for help, please know that doing so does not make you any less capable - everyone, no matter how old they are, needs to ask for help from time to time! We hope you can have a wonderful day today filled with moments that bring you joy!
Fictive culture is knowing your source is controversial but still being sad hearing people talk so negatively about your source.
the big thing that gets me abt syscourse is that it's literally none of your business. why do you need to know if a stranger on the internet has trauma. why do you need to know the medical history of a stranger on the internet. did you never learn basic internet safety? what makes you think you're entitled to that information about a person.
[read the post a few more times before trying to start shit, okay?]
canonically asexual culture is yeah maybe he (Alastor, Hazbin Hotel) doesn't wanna see all the fanart that Angel Dust clogged the Pinterest with and yeah I was so very relieved that I didn't canonically have sex with my high school girlfriend on screen (yet at least, oh no) but also can people Shut Up about it? let people ship stuff and Definitely don't use fictives against shippers, We Are Not A Prop For Your Discourse. ship me with BoJack, ship me with Mr. Peanutbutter, ship with literally anyone, I don't care. And neither does Alastor, ship him with Lucifer, Vox, Angel Dust, everyone, ship away, stop commenting on Every. Single. Shippy. Fanart. you see that hE's cAnOniCaLLy aSeXuAL yOU cAn'T sHiP hiM tHaT'S aSExUaL eRAsUrE, no it's not. Those people are characters. fictional characters, on a screen, and shipping them is not doing anyone a disservice. to ship ME, specifically ME with anyone, debatable, we still disagree, to ship US (non-partnering aroace), also debatable, but see the thing is we can be pressured to date someone. we can be convinced. we can experience the microaggressions and ignorance, we can experience the erasure, source character can't be hurt by the fandom's affinity for pairings
