I would like to write a suicide note in three and a half languages.
From Poem Not Written in Catalan by Eric Gamalinda
my hobbies include dying alone.
From I Am Someone’s Dream Husband by Guillaume Morissette
sometimes language is better than Valium.
From The Night We Slept In Poetry by Monica S. Kuebler
I'm so fulla cake.
If I ate anymore cake I'd have to vomit first.
Sometimes I'll eat two or three cakes in a single day.
I love Cake.
I can't be any clearer than that,
I LOVE CAKE.
I'll eat every cake in New York City.
I can't even go into bakeries anymore because I'll eat all the cake-
I'll say "where's the cake?
Gimme the cake!
Get the Cake!"
And they say
"we know how very much you love cake,
and we know that you rarely have the Money for any of our cake,
so GET OUTTA here, because you Can't Afford our Cake!
but we Know How Much you love cake-
So GET OUTTA HERE, you can't afford the Cake!"
I'll punch somebody in the head for some Cake.
Gimme All Your Cake!
I LOVE CAKE!
GIMME THE CAKE! NOW!
I LOVE IT! I LOVE CAKE!
GIMME YOUR CAKE!
CAKE by Todd Colby
cause, like, this made me smile and grin and laugh and stuff.
I sat in a car, an antenna filled with crack cocaine smoldering between my lips, the smoke spreading in my lungs, like the legs of Joseph Stalin's mom in the delivery room.
From What Year was Heaven Desegregated? by Jeffrey McDaniel
Along with the sonnets and blank verse
comes this: the gossip
about which poet is sleeping
with which poet, about who left whom
for who. Don't you know
the formalists only go to bed
with other formalists
but the free versers will screw
anybody, even the novelists.
From Open Books by Sherman Alexie
my wife is left-handed.
which implies a fierce
determination. a complete other
worldliness. IT'S WEIRD BABY
the way some folks
are always trying to be different.
a sin & a shame.
but then, she's been a bohemian
all her life... black stockings,
refusing to take orders.
From For Hettie by Leroi Jones
I’m sorry
I’m not the Wednesday or club sandwich
you expected, imagine my surprise
that you’re not the world peace
I really do want, it’s not just a thing
I say to the judges inspecting my cleavage.
From One Interpretation of Your Silence by Bob Hicok
hush-syrup reblogged
If man had more of a sense of humor, things might have turned out differently.
By Stanisław Lem (via observando)
This is totally me watching competitive cooking shows!
From The Time That Remains
OLD DRUNKARD: How are you, neighbor?
NEIGHBOR: Hello, neighbor.
OLD DRUNKARD: Neighbor, you see my son here? My son's fucked all the mothers in town. And me, I fucked his mother. You understand me, neighbor?
NEIGHBOR: Of course, neighbor.
OLD DRUNKARD: They threaten us with prison. Neighbor, you don't threaten a whore with a dick! Isn't it so, neighbor?
From The Time That Remains
OLD DRUNKARD: How are you, neighbor?
NEIGHBOR: Hello, neighbor.
OLD DRUNKARD: I have a theory about how to get rid of these Israeli sons of bitches. France and Lebanon are up each other's ass, right? We make Lebanon attack Israel. Israel retaliates and fucks the sister of Lebanon.France comes to Lebanon's aid, retaliates and fucks the cunt of the mother of the sister of Israel! What do you think?
NEIGHBOR: I hadn't thought of that.
OLD DRUNKARD: Neighbor, it's a question of logic.All you need is a clear head and some thinking. Isn't it so, neighbor?
hush-syrup reblogged
Van was one of the first to avail himself of her favors. These were granted in semi-darkness, among crates and sacks at the back of the shop after hours. The fact of his having told her he was sixteen and a libertine instead of fourteen and a virgin proved a source of embarrassment to our hell-raker when he tried to bluster his inexperience into quick action but only succeeded in spilling on the welcome mat what she would have gladly helped him to take indoors.
From Ada by Vladimir Nabokov (via talesofpassingtime)
hush-syrup reblogged
Her silhouette leans and says ‘And Lo, for the Earth was empty of form, and void.
‘And Darkness was all over the Face of the Deep.
‘And We said:
‘Look at that fucker Dance.’
From Infinite Jest by David Foster Wallace (via talesofpassingtime)
From Annie Hall (1977) by Woody Allen
Because that film has the best one-liners in movie history.