I couldn’t believe I’d ever eat again. I would starve and purify myself until at last I was empty and clean, like a child just starting out, not grubby and defiled by life.
From Catch Me When I Fall by Nicci French
But, as is always the case with bulimia, it is at once tempting, seductive, and terrifying. It divides the brain in half: you take in, you reject; you need, you do not need. It is not a comfortable split, even early on. But early on, its pros seem to outweigh its cons. You have a specific focus, your thoughts do not race as much. They stay in an orderly row: go home, eat, throw up. The problem in your life is your body. It is defined and has a beginning and an end. The problem will be solved by shrinking the body. Contain yourself.
From Wasted: A Memoir of Anorexia and Bulimia by Marya Hornbacher
I'm dedicating my summer to systematic diminishing. Yea.
hush-syrup reblogged
The number doesn’t matter. If I got down to 70.00, I’d want 65.00. If I weighed 10.0, I wouldn’t be happy until I got down to 5.00. The only number that would ever be enough would be 0. Zero pounds, zero life, size zero, double-zero, zero point.
From Wintergirls by Laurie Halse Anderson (via larmoyante)
From THIN by Laura Greenfield
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