• geno, fresh/ @loverofpiggies
• ink/ @comyet
• dream/ @jokublog

• He thinks the snow in Snowdin is ice cream.
• He loves deadly spikes and precarious bridges. He hates conveyor belts and steam vents. He’s also not super fond of lasers.
• He thinks impressing people with his huge biceps is a good way to make friends.
• He loves to be pet. He will also play fetch with you and bring back sticks in his teeth.
• He thinks humans descended from skeletons.
• It takes the brothers only one screen with no puzzles for them to get bored enough to make snowmen waiting for you.
• Papyrus knows Sans hangs around Toriel’s door all the time, but he doesn’t know why.
• Papyrus doesn’t actually have a sentry station of his own, he just has the one he and Sans made out of a cardboard box (and pasta). Sans has his own station though.
• Papyrus’s station is only two screens from Sans’s.
• The brothers are never more than one screen apart from each other in Snowdin.
• When he gets zapped by the orb he IMMEDIATELY blames Sans for it.
• Papyrus is feeling pretty down when the game starts, according to Sans.
• Whenever Sans goes to Grillby’s, Papyrus (irritated) isn’t too far behind him. He only orders milk there though. It’s full of strong bones, he says! He’s willing to pretend to like Grillby’s though when Undyne says she likes the food.
• Papyrus just straight up gives you the answer to his first X-O puzzle.
• When Papyrus redoes the one X-O puzzle to look like his face and then forgets the solution, he gripes about how Sans isn’t around so you’ll just have to solve it. Which implies that he thought Sans could help somehow.
• Papyrus knows Sans can teleport, although he might not know exactly how. He also knows he has at least four stations/jobs.
• The innkeeper gives Papyrus lollipops and pats on the head. He thinks she’s very nice.
• Undyne hasn’t seen Papyrus sleep ever. She has seen Sans make tons of midnight snacks though.
• Papyrus likes it when books are arranged by color.
• He knows there’s a quiche under the bench in the secret room. So does Undyne, actually.
• If you call him again in Sans’s telescope room, he just goes “thanks for calling” which hugely amuses me for some reason. THANKS FOR LETTING ME KNOW WHERE MY BROTHER IS
• He thinks skeletons are warm and cuddly and very soft.
• The Dogi steal bones from Papyrus to give to each other as Christmas presents. But Papyrus always comes and takes them back.
• He wants to run a store that sells flames. He also gets scared by echo flower whispering.
• Monster Kid can’t tell if Papyrus is a kid or an adult.
• The skeletons like chasing that bunny lady’s little brother around.
• Papyrus likes monologuing about things he does.
• He dreams of being a salaryman with an office puzzle job commuting on a train full of spikes.
• He’s never seen an anime, but thinks they’re for babies anyway. Which implies that someone told him that they were (maybe it was Sans, lol).
• Papyrus doesn’t know what the back of his hands look like because he’s always wearing gloves (this kind of blew my mind actually, I totally forgot he said this).
• He thinks oranges smell delicious.
• Mettaton is his favorite sexy rectangle. He also wants to have handsome bishonen eyes like Mettaton.
• He knows about other types of pasta. He stopped making lasagna because the annoying dog kept eating it.
• Sans bought lumaconi pasta at one point, presumably for Papyrus to cook with. Or maybe for his own use, who knows. Papyrus thinks he’d fill them with hot dogs and slime.
• Papyrus says he’d never take a vacation for any reason.
• Papyrus told Undyne about being friends with Flowey, but she didn’t believe him. He also told Sans, and presumably if Papyrus had any other friends, he would have told them about Flowey too.
• He immediately believes you’re in love with him when you flirt with him. Like the thought you could be lying or trying to trick him doesn’t even cross his mind.
• During his battle, he says someone who likes him as much as you is really rare. Which again implies that Papyrus has very few friends, despite his (presumably false) statement that he has many admirers.
• His/their house is very neat, aside from the change in the couch and Sans’s room which Papyrus has completely given up on. Even Papyrus’s closet is very neatly organized. He apparently regularly vacuums. He spends a lot of time at home, and it’s one of his favorite places to be.
• Papyrus isn’t friends with Alphys (at first) and is surprised that Sans seems to know her. He only follows her online. He asked Undyne to ask her to help set up the tile puzzle.
• Papyrus keeps spaghetti in his fridge to preserve it in his “food museum”, not for eating later. It also really amuses me that Sans keeps his popato chisps in the fridge. It’s the ONLY thing he keeps in the fridge.
• Papyrus cackles when he gets excited.
• Papyrus is only one head taller than Sans AND only one head taller than the human. Sans and the human are the same height. He describes himself as very tall and handsome though.
• Papyrus has a present under the tree in Snowdin that disappears mysteriously if you kill him.
• He really loves midriff exposing shirts.
• He’s flattered by insults.
• Papyrus only got his “battle body” a few weeks before the game starts. He and Sans made it for a costume party. He has since worn nothing else. He even wears it in the shower. Sans thinks he looks really cool in it.
• This is more Sans related, but despite being the “most regular regular” and Grillby’s best customer, he hasn’t been showing up as much at Grillby’s recently by the time you come around. On a related note, Sans knows a lot about all kinds of foods, but routinely orders the worst burger on the menu.
• Papyrus gives Undyne gold ribbon-wrapped bones as gifts constantly and thinks she loves them. He actually loves bones in general and likes having them around. He heightened his sink just to store more bones, keeps a box of his bone attacks in his room, and says the giant picture of a bone in his house reminds him of “what’s important in life”.
• Papyrus is actually pretty emotionally intelligent. He knows exactly how to manipulate Undyne into being friends with you, and while he is massively projecting all over you at points, his analysis of your feelings both before you fight him and after your date show a pretty nuanced understanding of people’s emotions. He also can tell that something’s up with Alphys after he goes running with her, and that you’re a good person to deal with it.
• On a related note, despite being completely in love with himself, Papyrus is also very empathetic. His primary concern when he’s friendzoning you is that you’re going to be hurt that he can’t reciprocate your feelings. When you insult him, he thinks you’re insulting yourself and tells you to stop and that he thinks you’re great. He goes on a date with you so as not to hurt your feelings.
• After you escape his shed once, he cuts up a hot dog into the dog food to improve the accomodations for you.
• Papyrus always wears “special” clothes under his normal clothes just in case someone asks him on a date. No one has until you do though. He actually doesn’t know how dates work at all before he checked out that book on it… though he still agreed to one with you anyway without even knowing what it was.
• Papyrus doesn’t like lying to people. He just wants to be everybody’s friend! He also says that he would never betray you (to Undyne), which shows a shocking amount of loyalty to someone he’s only known for like, a day.
• He thinks solving puzzles and talking on the phone are “very Papyrus” things to do.
• Sans and Papyrus’s souls are literally linked to each other. It’s specifically seeing you be nice to their brother that brings the other back from the void. Strangely enough, the brothers are also the only Lost Souls that have inconsistent pronouns - they’re referred to alternately as he or it.
• Papyrus believes that capturing you would earn him all the love and recognition he’s always wanted… and yet, he still voluntarily lets you go. Your friendship ends up being more important to him than the potential culmination of all his hopes and dreams. He gives it all up for you.

• even if you get along great with your family you will get along even better with them after moving out 
• generic is almost always just as good as name brand. But there are some things you never buy generic, including: peanut butter, ketchup, liquid NyQuil, Chips-Ahoy chewy chocolate chip cookies
• just imagine the person on the other end of the phone hates talking on the phone as much as you do. Even a receptionist. I worked as one and I hate talking on the phone
• at least once in your life you will go to Wal-mart to buy something under $20 like an ironing board or something and your debit card will get rejected. No one will judge. Everyone at some point in their lives has had $2.98 in their bank account. 
• thrift stores
• everyone else is too busy panicking about everyone else noticing every tiny thing that could possibly be wrong about them to notice any tiny thing that could possibly be wrong about you
• you will screw up. a lot. you live and you learn. and when you start to think too hard about that embarrassing thing that happened and how you wish you could change it, just tell yourself that what’s done is done. There’s no changing it, so just forget it and move on. It’s the only way to stay sane.
• do the dishes before the sink grows its own ecosystem
• you can’t put Dawn dishsoap in the dishwasher. 
• if you are the only one in the aisle at the grocery store, and you need to get from one end to the other without even looking at anything in that aisle, then you should totally cart-surf down the aisle. Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional. Hold on to the little things. They make all the difference.
• never try to make cake from scratch at 3am. You end up with a topographical map of Middle Earth.
• 15% tip. 
• the best way to get money for food is to tell your grandparents about how you basically live on microwaved mac and cheese. Their horror may result in twenty bucks and orders to go out and get yourself “a real dinner”.
• sometimes life sucks, and knowing that it might get better doesn’t always make it suck any less, but you’ll never get to the non-sucky days without enduring the suckiness. 
• no seriously, NEVER put Dawn in your dishwasher

• Reward yourself from time to time when you do things that you needed to get done. It’s a good way to remind yourself to do them. Going out to pay a bill? Get Starbucks or something you don’t get often. Rewards don’t have to be huge, they can be small things like that.
• Rice, pasta, flour, sugar, cheese, eggs, milk, a pack of chicken, a pack of frozen veggies and a well stocked spice cabinet go a long way food-wise. Splurge and get the biggest container of rice you can. You don’t have to go back and buy it again anytime soon and it makes a TON of meals in the meantime.
• Rice can be cooked on the stove. You don’t need a fancy rice cooker. Two parts water to every one part rice (two cups water for one cup of rice for example). Get your water boiling, add rice, put a plate or lid on it, put it on low for 20 minutes. It should be done.
• Keep a calendar on your pc of bill due dates. If your bills are set up at inconvenient times, like all of the services started on the first or something, then call up the company and find out if you can get your billing date switched to something more manageable. A lot of places do try to work with you.
• There is no shame in calling a company and asking for an extension on a bill. Let them know what you can pay, pay that amount, and they arrange when the rest of the payment is required. This can stop you from having services shut off man. It shows responsibility on your part.
• Take time to eat, even when you don’t feel like eating. Your body needs energy to live.
• Wash or rinse your dishes before putting them in the dishwasher. It prevents gross caked on junk.
• “The Works” is an excellent cheap toilet cleaner.
• MAGIC. FUCKING. ERASERS. THEY WORK ON EVERYTHING JUST DON’T SCRUB HARD. I took the ring out of our bathtub with one. Also generic ones work just as well.

• Keep some bleach around but if you use it for cleaning? Dillute it. There’s rarely ever a case where you need to pout straight bleach on anything. A cap full or two in a bucket of water works just fine.
• DO NOT MIX CLEANERS. Chemical reactions are can be very dangerous. Here’s a good list. (Note that vinegar and baking soda can actually be a good combo for removing smells from things but it’s not very good at actually -cleaning-.)
• If you drink? Don’t take meds at the same time it’s just not good.
• Make sure you check the dosages on your pill bottles. No one wants to accidentally overdose on cough syrup or ibuprofen.
• If you have a uterus make sure you have a heating pad and ibuprofen on hand for the pain. Hot baths also generally help and Ginger Tea is excellent for any nausea.
• Buy a first aid kit. It’s worth it in the long run.
• You can often do your taxes online at places like TurboTax.
• Here’s some good sex ed resources because I had to explain what a yeast infection was recently. 
• Petroleum jelly (aka Vaseline) is good for chapped lips and you can get a decent sized tube or tub of it (generic brand version) for cheaper/same price as Chapstick.
• KEEP TRIPLE ANTIBIOTIC OINTMENT IN YOUR HOUSE FOR CUTS AND SCRAPES AND SORES. 

2 ¼ teaspoons active dry yeast (You can buy a bag of this stuff CHEAP in bulk stores, the little packets are hella stupid priced) 1 cup warm water (think a hot bath) 1 ½ teaspoons sugar 2 tablespoons oil (any kind works for the most part) 2 ¼ cups flour 1 teaspoon salt

1. Stir the yeast, water, sugar, and oil up in a bowl. Let it sit for about 10 minutes. It will foam up VERY high, this is the yeast getting happy! If it doesn’t get all foamy, the water may have been too hot or not hot enough. Remember, Yeast is alive! Treat it like a nice girlfriend!

2. Mix your flour, salt, and the yeast concoction up in a bowl.

3. Knead that shit for about 5 minutes. It will start sticky as heck, but will come together into a nice dough. If it’s still super sticky, toss in a bit more flour. Here’s how to knead it: 

4. Put your dough in a covered, lightly oiled bowl and leave it someplace warmish for an hour. At that point it will have roughly doubled in size, give it a gentle punch to release the gasses that have built up inside. Cover it again and let it sit for a bit longer.

Optional egg-wash: Just crack an egg into a bowl, add a pinch of salt, and mix the bejeebus out of it with a fork. Brush (or if you’re like me, goop it on with said fork) that shit thinly on bread before baking for a nice crust.

Pizza: Stretch it on a pan, stab the fucker all over with a fork, add toppings, bake 425*F 15-20 minutes. 

Bread Sticks: Make snake-shapes, let rest on pan 10-ish minutes, bake 400*F 10-20 minutes.

Dinner rolls: Make ball-sized (yes those balls) balls. Place on greased pan, let rest 10-20 minutes to rise. Egg-wash and bake 375*F 25 minutes.

Bread: Lightly score (cut) the top, let sit for 20-ish minutes on/in whatever you’re using to bake it, egg-wash, bake at 375*F for 20-ish minutes. It’s done when it sounds hollow if you knock on the bottom.

You bet your ass you can deep-fry this shit for cheapie yeast doughnuts. Roll that shit in sugar or dip it in whatever, it’s fucking tasty.

Bagels: YES. YOU. CAN. Form bagel-shapes out of the dough and boil them in salty water for about 2 minutes. Egg-wash them and bake them at 400*F for 10 minutes.

Cinnamon Rolls: Roll that shit out into a rectangle. Brush it with a mix of butter, cinnamon, sugar, and a pinch of salt (no exact amounts here, do it to your taste). Roll it up into a log, and cut it into discs. Let them sit 20 minutes in a pan and then bake at 375*F 15-17 minutes.

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