THE HOTTEST TAKE TOURNAMENT!

(header art by @haycoat and @canadianlucifer <3)

(We also punt people into the Sun at @would-you-punt-them if you've got the bloodlust)

I feel as if this tournament must exist somewhere, but I looked for two hours and couldn't find it. So I've decided to be the change I want to see in the world and subject all of you to it.

Do you have a red-hot take that you know most people wouldn't agree with, but are still absolutely willing to fight for it? This is the place where it belongs. Let's pit them against each other in a fight for validation!

SUBMISSION GUIDELINES:

All submissions are anonymous.

Your take can be about literally anything at all, as long as you feel the vast majority of people would disagree. Even though you're right. And they're just afraid to admit it.

Basically, if it's a hill you're willing die on - even if you have to do it alone - then it belongs right here.

Oh, and it kinda goes without saying, but terfs and bigots stay away.

You can submit all your scalding takes right here:

Feel free to submit as many as you like!

ABOUT ME:

I was once a beautiful all-powerful elven sorcerer princess, feared and loved by all – then one day I was run over by a horse cart and was transported to another world where I was reborn as a failgirl weaboo shut-in with no friends.

However! I may have been stripped of my dark powers that once spread terror across the world, but it turns out exposing people to Tumblr hot takes is the next best thing.

(Also, "OP" refers to the submitter of a take, "mod" refers to me)

HOW SUBMISSIONS WILL BE CHOSEN (updated):

Once all the submissions have been collected, we'll run preliminaries for the most contested topics, and most controversial takes will qualify for the bracket.

Then, I'll take all the remaining submissions and put them into a randomiser. It will be in fate's hands after that.

Whatever submissions the randomiser picks, no matter what they are, will fill out the rest of the bracket. No re-rolls.

After that, all of the matchups will be shuffled again, so the resulting bracket will be completely random. No seeding, no creator bias.

All we can do then is pray.

RULES FOR VOTING (updated, edited on request x3):

Everyone will vote for the take they most agree with, and the most validated take will advance.

The last take standing will then graduate from "hot take" and be crowned MOST OBJECTIVE FACT OF ALL TIME FOREVER.

Please do vote and reblog if you can! It does really help spread the word!

Propaganda is encouraged - fight for your cause!

"FGO player" don't make me laugh, we're not playing the same game

my only criticism is that i don't understand why they make you bring a full party of 6, i'm tired of having to wait for 3 slot fillers to die in every battle

advertising gambling online??

we're entering my mrbeast era

there's no way you guys are gonna ask for a discord server and then change your minds when you realise it might not directly contribute to my downfall

Actually, while we're on the subject, how come I'm getting dunked on for my real brick, but when I say your virtual brick game is boring, NOW it's a problem??

We don't need a discord, I could just set up a Minecraft server, I mean it's literally a discord server with a thirty-dollar price tag

actually you make a good point, if you're gonna drop a hot take better say it with your whole chest

ngl, i literally don't know anything about discord, other than the screenshots you guys send me every so often i've never even seen what a discord server looks like, let alone know how to run one or what being on one is like

i didn't even know how to run a tumblr blog until i started this one, i'm basically just figuring it out on the fly

couple questions

do you honestly think someone as tech-incompatible me understands discord?? you're lucky you don't have to send me asks via messenger pidgeon and smoke signals

Please tell me that's not true

None of this is even my fault, so if we get kicked out the bracket I'm 100% blaming all of you

I don't think they were against the brick in concept, I think it was more that they didn't want me sleeping while cuddling it

And I also played with or collected other stuff that I definitely shouldn't have, like pretty shards of coloured glass – so I think they might have seen the brick as associated with other issues with my safety

Especially the refusing to wear shoes thing, I used to be obsessed with climbing trees and running around in the woods barefoot, and the driveway consisted of sharp rocks and I'd walk over that too, I'd even sneak out at night to sleep in bushes and trees with my brick and no sense of self-preservation

So in hindsight I'm not surprised they weren't massive fans of the brick

You say that like anything has changed

The world moves, yet the children will forever be drawn to the bricks