THERE IS A FOX OUTSIDE MY HOUSE AND I CAN ASSURE YOU THE FOX DOES NOT SAY YIFF

why does this have 340 notes

this isnt even supposed to be funny there is a fox outside my house screaming

isn’t that the guy who hates moreos

‘til paul do us blart

the :/ face but in hot pink comic sans, italicized and bolded at 72pt

what language do they speak at the center of the earth

core-ean

THE CENTER OF THE EARTH IS AROUND 5430 degrees Celsius… NOBODY IS GOING TO LIVE THERE SO THEY DONT NEED A LANGUAGE

core-ean

leaked set photo from the last jedi

THANK YOU FOR DOING THE LORD’S WORK AND LEAKING THIS TO US. 

day 1348 the birds still think I am one of them

#no you don’t understand#i went to skellig island years and years ago#long before it was ever in these movies#and the second i saw the island in the force awakens#i thought ‘what did they do to the puffins?’#because friends let me tell you#when i visited this island way back when#the entire fucking thing was covered tip to toe in puffins#nests of puffins in the rocks#puffins shitting from the sky#puffins swimming in the sea#it was a true island of the birds and not a damn person could hope to get a panorama without approximately 10000+ birds photobombing#how did disney edit out all the puffins#who was the puffin intern#important questions that need answers 

I’m stealing @humming-fly ‘s tags because I’m not original

harry potter: “albus severus, blah blah blah slytherin tootle toot fart noise you were named after the bravest man i’ve ever known”

teddy lupin: “hey uh… remember my fucking dad”

[albus arrives at hogwarts] albus: “hello professor! did you know severus snape? my dad says he was the bravest man he ever knew” neville longbottom: “is that fucking right”

neville writes an owl to harry containing two words

Writes? That letter is a howler and you cannot convince me otherwise.

A howler that just screams “fake bitch”

dirt

mmmm… tasty..

the d in dirt stands for do not eat this please

feeling when entering a store

walmart- paranoia

7/11- certainty

target- home

super target- your estranged aunt’s home

macy’s- smugness

Home Depot- loss

whole foods- the kale feeling

CVS- the all knowing eye of God

dunkin donuts- a lady yelling at me in a brooklyn accent

walgreens- grandpa’s firm hand shake

costco- endurance

need me a man who will choke me in front of my grandma while she plays sudoku

Are you like spinning a slot machine with random fucked up shit on each wheel to come up with these posts

HOLY SHIT, IT WAS THE ORIGINAL ONE

MAKE A WISH

the first post ever on tumblr

I WAS EXPECTING IT TO BE A REMAKE OF SOME SORT HOLY FUCK

WHO THE FUCK KEEPS BRINGING THIS BACK

reblog this because it shows up every blue moon

I FOUND IT ✊

I WAS SO SCARED IT WOULDNT BE THE ORIGINAL

Who first posted this?

I THOUGHT THIS WAS GOING TO END WITH A MEME OR SOME SHIT NO IT’S THE REAL ONE OH MY GOD

Wishing I’ll do well on my finals ✨

mohaerys:

daily reminder to click a button so you can give free food to a shelter!!

if every one of my followers did this, we could give more than 85 meals to less-fortunate animals. for free.

AH HHA ITS BACK YES PLEASE IT TAKES A SECOND OF YOUR TIME AND A LIFE OF AN ANIMAL

this doesn’t fit my blog at all but i had to post it here because this story is legit the wildest thing i’ve seen this month and everyone needs to see it. unmute this I PROMISE YOU WON’T REGRET IT

omg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

@dundermifflinscranton

you know when dogs do the tiny growl before they bark? that means they’re charging up the bark to be more powerful

i knew this post would connect with you guys. im glad. please enjoy this dog post

my friend has one of those really deep wells (like 4 ft deep!) outside of her bedroom window bc her room’s in the basement so any time it rains a bunch of frogs end up trapped down there and I climb down to get them out.

and after a while I noticed that some animal (probably a raccoon) takes its food down there to eat for whatever reason, so there are a bunch of skulls and bones. I have special permission to collect skulls for educational purposes and deliver them to certain people, so now I grab those too.

Well today I climbed down in, found three frogs, and five skulls. So I’m climbing out of this pit with a frog and a ziploc bag full of animal bones and suddenly the fattest pug and boston terrier I’ve ever seen both come over barking

and the neighbor comes over to see what’s going on. and I have these bones and these frogs and I’m like “uh, hey!”

just got my. bag of skulls.

and she says “oh! they told me about you, hahaha! are the frogs okay?”

I’m glad this is my legacy.

it’s worth noting I have to like, put my arms on either side of the well and use my upper body to lower myself into it and then I like duck down and disappear so it HAS to look weird from a distance, no matter HOW many skulls or frogs I come out with.

Truth Coming Out of Her Well to Shame Mankind