Drag Superstar Episode 5: The Finale

Diamond: Hello and welcome to the finale of Drag Superstar! Tonight we will be catching up with all of the contestants and finding out who will be crowned this season's Ultimate Drag Superstar!

As always, I'm joined by my fantastic panel of judges. Please welcome Diego Lobo, Penny Pizzazz, and Izzy Fabulous! Judges, who do you think will be taking home the crown tonight?

Diego: For me, it has to be Lady Astrid! The artistry she's brought is unmatched!

Penny: I love Lady Astrid, but I haven't been able to get Vapore LaWave out of mind mind since the acting challenge!

Izzy: I'm rooting for Velvet Envy. She's serving up glamour on a silver platter, and I'm eating it up!

Diamond: Thank you, judges! Before we crown our winner, let's see what life has been like for our queens since the season started. First up, it's Kylee Kouture. Kylee, your time on the show was short, but you've had social media buzzing.

Kylee: Yes, the internet can't get enough of my looks--and okay, maybe I've been running my mouth a bit, too!

Diamond: I heard that you and Jacqueline had some beef on Social Bunny. Can you tell me about that?

Kylee: Well, apparently some old, bitter queens can't handle us younger girls getting attention.

Jacqueline: I'll tell you exactly what happened, Diamond. All I've heard from the clubs I've been performing in is how Kylee is always late, she's being a diva, she's cancelling gigs...so yes, I had some words with her on SB about how you have to earn your dues in this business.

Kylee: Yeah, whatever. Jealousy is an ugly trait. Anyway, my follower count shows who the public really loves.

Jacqueline: The followers you bought?

[The other queens laugh]

Diamond: Ok, let's move on. Darla, how has life been for you after the show?

Darla: It's been great, Diamond! Despite our conflicts in the girl group challenge, I've gotten close to Vixen and Vapore. And I'm releasing a single!

Diamond: A single???

Darla: Yes, I took some voice lessons and I've really improved!

Jacqueline: I've heard they're doing amazing things with autotune these days!

Darla: [laughing] Okay, I'll admit there was a lot of autotuning, but it's a fun track!

Diamond: I can't wait to hear it! Vixen, how is your ankle?

Vixen: It's doing fine! I had some physical therapy and it's healed well. I'm happy that it hasn't impacted my burlesque act!

Diamond: I'm so happy to hear that! And I want to let you know that you're welcome to rejoin us next season to have another shot at competing!

[The queens applaud]

Vixen: Thank you so much! No more injuries, I promise!

Diamond: I'm going to hold you to that! Valerie, when you left the show, you were dealing with some difficulties at home. How are things going now?

Valerie/David: Well, Diamond, everything has been wonderful! My son was going through a rough time, but he really turned it around. I'm really proud of him! I'm proud of all of my children. My oldest daughter is getting married and touring with her band, and my younger daughter is starting a business.

Diamond: That's fantastic! It seems like you didn't have anything to worry about after all.

Valerie/David: That's right. It's a relief knowing that I've set my kids up with a good foundation. Even when times get tough, they know how to pull through. I've learned I can't control everything, but I also don't need to.

*I forgot to take a solo pic of Jacqueline, oops

Diamond: What a wonderful lesson to learn! Thank you Valerie. Now it's time to catch up with our finalists, starting with Jacqueline Galloway. Has your life changed since the show?

Jacqueline: Well, you've already heard about my conflicts, but there have been a lot of positives as well. I've been booked and busy. It turns out you can teach an old dog new tricks!

Diamond: Tell me about it! Any more social media fights in your future?

Jacqueline: I'm going to try to let my career do the talking from now on.

Diamond: Wise decision. Lady Astrid, how has the show impacted your life?

Lady Astrid: In the best ways, Diamond! I have more time and money to work on new looks and it's really pushed me as an artist. Plus, I've had a lot of trans youth tell me I've inspired them to express themselves freely.

Diamond: That must make you feel good!

Lady Astrid: It really does. It shows how important visibility is to our community.

Diamond: Absolutely! Thank you, Lady Astrid. Next up, Vapore LaWave. How has life after the show surprised you?

Vapore: Well, going into this competition, I never thought of myself as being a funny person. But everyone really loved my campy performance in the acting challenge!

Diamond: You were hysterical!

Vapore: Thank you! Since the show, I've been taking acting lessons. I'm always up for expanding my skill set!

Diamond: That's great! Best of luck to you! And last but not least, it's Velvet Envy! Velvet, how do you feel about your performance on the show?

Velvet: I'm feeling very proud! I didn't know what to expect going in, but I'm happy that I not only won a challenge, but I've made it all the way to the finale.

Diamond: It's well deserved!

Velvet: Thank you! I never thought I would come this far when I started doing drag on a whim years ago!

Diamond: And look at you now! Thank you to all of my queens for making this a season to remember.

Diamond: And now it's the moment you've all been waiting for. I've taking the opinions of the judges and the viewers into consideration, but ultimately this was my decision to make. The winner of this season of Drag Superstar, our Ultimate Drag Superstar, is...

[dramatic pause]

Diamond: Lady Astrid!!!

[confetti falls from the ceiling as everyone applauds]

Condragulations, Lady Astrid! Do you have any words to share?

Lady Astrid: This is for anyone who's ever been told that they can't be who they are. Let our voices of love drown out the hate!

Thank you to @sirianasims for sharing Lady Astrid and Velvet Envy with me, and @invisiblequeen for Vapore LaWave! I enjoyed having them in this project!

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3.39 Decent Proposal(s)

The Spring semester was drawing to a close and while Chantal aced her exams as usual, she wasn't feeling any more motivated to continue her schooling than she had in the fall. When Kayla suggested they meet up to chat, Chantal hoped for an opportunity to discuss her friend's business plans in greater depth.

Chantal's wish came true: Kayla told her that the ideas Chantal had shared with her a few months ago had been a big inspiration to her. She now had more clarity about what direction she wanted to take her company in and she was almost ready to file the paperwork to get things started.

Chantal's heart sank a bit until Kayla explained there was one thing she was waiting on.

"I don't want to use your ideas unless you can profit from them, too," she said. She made Chantal an offer--either she could pay Chantal for the rights to her designs, or Chantal could become a partner in her business.

"Of course, if you don't want me to use your ideas at all, I'll go back to the drawing board," Kayla assured her.

Chantal thought about it. She knew she didn't want to sell the rights, but starting a business was a big risk. She would likely have to put her schooling on hold for something that might not ever get off the ground. Still, she couldn't turn down an opportunity to do something she'd been dreaming of her whole life. She gleefully accepted Kayla's offer to become her business partner.

Chantal wasn't the only one with something to celebrate. Cece finally graduated from university. She was ecstatic to finally be able to join Ben on tour and become an official member of his band.

After the ceremony, Ben and Cece shared a meal with Cece's family. She couldn't help but notice that her usually easy-going boyfriend seemed a bit more nervous than usual.

After dinner, he suggested he and Cece take a walk. He lead her down to the water's edge and just as the sun began to set, Ben got down on one knee.

Ben looked into her eyes. "Cecelia, being away from you has made me realize how much better life is with you by my side. Will you marry me?"

"Yes!" she squealed. Cece wasn't usually one for big displays of emotion, but tears of happiness were forming in her eyes.

"I love you, Benjamin Coleman."

"And I love you, Cecelia Fields-Haim."

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3.38 Common Goals

Things have been busy over the past couple of weeks. The channel is planning some special videos and the cast has been filming at different locations. That means I haven’t gotten a chance to talk to Lacey yet, which I’ll admit is a bit of a relief. 

I’ve been pretty distracted anyway. My dads already have a buyer interested in the house so that doesn’t give me much time to find a new place. Lucy suggested I get in contact with Paul since he’ll need a roommate when he moves to San Sequoia, so I’m meeting with him to look at a townhouse he’s had his eye on. 

When I arrive at the address Paul gave me, it’s not quite what I was expecting. It doesn’t look like any rental property that I’ve ever seen. There’s a little market area on the other side of the parking lot where booths of fresh flowers and produce are set up. Before I have a chance to check it out more, Paul's Jeep pulls into the parking lot and he hops out.

"You ready?" he asks. I tell him I am and we walk to a gate with an intercom. ”I just have to let the property manager know we’re here.” After a couple of minutes a woman who looks to be in her 50s arrives to greet us. She looks like she’s been working outside; her jeans dusted with dirt and her cheeks are pink from the sun. 

 "Hello Paul, it's nice to speak to you in person," she says. She looks at me. "This must be the roommate."

"Hi, I'm Johnny," I say, reaching out to shake her hand.

"Johnny," she repeats. "Johnny and Paul. I'm Gail. My wife and I own the townhouse you’ll be viewing. Let’s go take a look."

We walk down the path. There are two buildings on either side and Gail takes us to the one on the right. “My son just moved about a week ago. He’s going to do some conservation work in Sulani,” she explains as she unlocks the door to the unit.

When we step inside, I'm surprised by the size of the place. Going by the rent price, I was expecting something much smaller. "Are you sure you got the price right?" I ask Paul. Maybe he transposed some numbers somewhere. It seems unlikely, but even future doctors make mistakes.

"I thought I did when I first saw it, but it really is that cheap," he insists. I raise an eyebrow, sensing that there's more to the story. "There is just one little catch," he admits.

Gail catches wind of our conversation and smiles. "It really does sound too good to be true, doesn't it? The community here is a little...atypical, but I promise it's worth it."

"What do you mean?" I ask incredulously.

"Well, Ellie and I started this community once our children got older. Initially we just wanted a way to keep us all together, but we saw an opportunity to create affordable housing here in San Sequoia and foster our community at the same time. At Hopewell Commons, helping out your neighbors isn't simply a courtesy. Everyone contributes, whether it's through tending the garden, making repairs, providing childcare, offering goods and services...everyone finds their place."

"So we have to earn our keep?"

Gail laughs. "I wouldn't put it quite like that. As renters, you’re not required to put in the hours that our homeowners do, but we encourage you to get involved. You'll not only be helping out others but you'll have a built-in support system when you're the one in need."

I’m feeling pretty skeptical, but I want to see if this place is worth the effort. Gail shows us one of the bedrooms upstairs. 

“That’s a nice view of the garden,” Paul comments. I peek out the window. The garden is pretty quaint with a small greenhouse and a few rows of plants. There’s an older woman and a young girl talking near the chicken pen. 

“That’s Ellie and our granddaughter, Ramona,” Gail tells us.

“How many people live in the community?” I ask her.

“Well, there’s my daughter Cleo and her family, and we’ve got about 10 other residents at the moment. But we’re growing! We’re building more houses on some land we just acquired.”

Once she's out of earshot, I turn to Paul. "This isn’t a cult, isn't it?"

"It's not a cult. It's more like a…family."

"That's what someone who's in a cult would say," I point out.

“It’s NOT a cult!”

Next, Gail leads us out into the community garden. "This is a group effort," she explains. "We have several residents who rotate duties in the garden, and once the crops are ready everyone helps themselves to their share."

I can't say that I've ever been into gardening, but Paul seems excited by the idea. I guess I should get used to it, too. While he and Gail share gardening tips in the greenhouse, I wander around the garden. It does seem like a nice idea, everyone chipping in so that their neighbors can enjoy the bounty. Plus, free food.

Gail’s granddaughter is playing nearby and when she sees me, she skips over. 

"Hi, I'm Ramona! What's your name?" "I'm Johnny." "Oh, okay. Do you have any pets?" "Yeah, I have a cat named Taco."

"Taco??? That's a funny name!” She giggles. “Can I see it?" "Well, she's not here right now." "Why?" "Because I don't live here." "Why?" I'm not completely sure how to answer that one. "Because I just don't." "Oh. Are you going to live here soon?" "Maybe." "Can I see Taco when you do?" "Well, you should probably ask your parents about that." "Why?"

Gail comes around the corner.  "Because it's not a good idea to go to someone's house alone if you don't know them." Ramona seems satisfied by her answer.

Gail turns to me. "You'll have to excuse Ramona. She thinks everyone is her friend. You’re a nice young man, but it's important that she learns the difference between a friend and a stranger."

"No problem," I tell her. Ramona runs off to examine a tomato plant. It seems like she has the type of childhood that I wish I had. I learned way too young that not everyone can be trusted.

Paul walks over to me. "So, what do you think?" he asks. "I understand if you're not feeling it. I know it's a little strange."

So far everyone looks happy, like, genuinely happy and not like people in a cult who are being brainwashed. I sigh. "Okay, as long as the rental agreement doesn't make us promise our souls to The Great Leader I guess I'm open to it."

"Are you sure? Because we can keep looking if you're not."

"I'm sure. I trust your judgment."

We tell Gail what we've decided and she takes us to fill out our applications. She says we should hear something in a couple of days.

When we head back to our cars I spot Ramona again.

"Bye Johnny!" she tells me cheerfully. "Tell Taco I said 'hi!'"

"Sure thing, Ramona. See you later!"

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3.37 Soulmates

Today I’m spending some time with Pops. While I was camping, he found out that the LGBT center where he’s been working forever will be closing in just a couple weeks and he’ll be out of a job. It wasn’t unexpected–they’ve been having funding issues for a while–but it still sucks. Unfortunately, Dad is in San My for a gig this weekend, so I figure Pops could use some company.

“I’m really sorry about your job,” I tell him as he finishes washing the dishes. “Are you guys gonna be okay?”

“We have a good amount in savings, and I’ve already been in contact with someone at the LGBT center in Del Sol. They’ve all but offered me a position there that pays more and has more flexibility.”

“Wow, that’s great! So I guess you won’t have much of a reason to stay in Evergreen Harbor, then.”

“Not really. We could probably find a smaller place closer to the LGBT center.”

I know what that means. There’s no reason my parents should have to pay for another 3 bedroom house when their kids are grown. “I guess it’s time for me to find a place, too.”

“I’m sorry to spring it on you like this, but I think you’re ready for it.”

“Yeah, I am. I really appreciate you guys taking me in for as long as you did.”

“You’ve come a long way, Johnny. You’ll be just fine.”

“What about you? You’ll be all alone when Dad is traveling.”

“That’s the good thing about this job. I’ll be able to work remotely some, so I can travel with Dad sometimes.”

“Oh, that’s good then. I know it’s not easy for you two to be away from each other.” I pause. There’s something that’s been on my mind since I came back from my camping trip, and Pops seems like the perfect person to help me figure it out. “Do you think you and Dad are soulmates?”

“Soulmates? Hmm.” He stops for a moment to consider. “No, I don’t think we are,” he finishes.

“Really? Why not?” I'm taken aback by his answer. What does he mean, they're not soulmates?

“Well, you remember how Dad and I met, right?”

“Yeah, you saw each other at a protest and sparks flew or something cheesy like that.”

“Mm-hmm. But I don’t think I’ve ever told you the full story of what happened that night. Before I ended up at the protest, I was at your mom’s apartment–she told me she needed to talk to me about something. Instead, I told her I was gay and couldn’t be in a relationship with her anymore, and I left–without finding out that she was pregnant.”

“Oh. She was going to tell you that night?”

“Yes, until she decided that I wasn’t the kind of man that should raise children. If things had been different–if she had told me she was pregnant before I came out to her–I would have stayed.”

“You would’ve kept pretending to be straight?” I can't imagine what his life would have been like but it sounds pretty terrible. And to think he would have chosen that because of me and Chantal?

“For a while at least. And who knows, maybe eventually I would have found someone else to love and I’d still be happy. But I wouldn’t have met your dad that night.”

“Ok, but that didn’t happen. What does that have to do with being soulmates?”

“Because, Johnny, if I’d stayed with her a little longer then the things that happened to you and Chantal at your mom’s house wouldn’t have happened. I would have been there to keep you safe and well cared for. I just can’t believe that your Dad and I were meant to be together when the circumstances that led to us meeting were also the circumstances that led to my children being hurt and neglected.”

“Well, maybe it’s fate and you would’ve met a different way.” I'm having a hard time wrapping my head around what Pops is saying. A world where he and Dad aren't together just doesn't make sense.

“Maybe. But I don’t think any of these hypotheticals really matter. Like you said, that’s not what happened. What matters is that today, in the here and now, I can’t imagine my life without him. Any reason in particular why you’re thinking about soulmates?” He raises his eyebrows knowingly.

“I guess it’s more that I’m wondering how you know if someone is the right person for you, but it kind of sounds like it’s not that simple.”

“Well, a sign isn’t going to drop down from the heavens that says ‘This person is the one,’ but it doesn’t have to be complicated. Find the person you can’t imagine your life without. I don’t know if that’s what you were wanting to hear, but I hope it answers your question.”

Find the person you can’t live without. Maybe there aren’t signs falling from the sky, but those words are about as close as I’ll get. “It does," I tell him. "It may not be the answer I was expecting, but I think it cleared something up for me.”

“I see. Do you want to talk about it?"

Normally I would jump at the chance to get some input, but now I don't feel like I need it. I shake my head. “No, I think I can handle it from here.” The thought makes me nervous, but I can’t avoid this. I need to talk to Lacey.

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3.36 Left the Building

Later that night, I remember what Lexie said about not letting any opportunities to get away from me and decide I should try to find a way to get Lacey alone.

I just can't find the right moment. It seems like one of us is always heading off into our tent for a nap or busy eating or caught up in conversation with someone else.

It doesn't help that Lexie keeps looking at me expectantly. It feels like everyone else is waiting for me to make my move and having all eyes on me just adds to the pressure.

At one point we're all gathered around the campfire when Lacey starts asking Paul about school.

"Are you planning on staying at Foxbury for med school?" she inquires.

"No, actually I was accepted into Sequoia State," he explains. "I'm going to take my last few courses at Foxbury over the summer, then I'm moving here in the fall."

"Oh, that's cool! I guess we'll be seeing you around more then."

I feel my stomach drop a bit and decide I should intervene before Lacey and Paul start making plans together. Lacey starts coughing and I seize the opportunity.

"I could use some fresh air," I break in. "Sounds like you could, too, Lacey."

"Yeah, that would be nice," she replies, and we walk away from the others.

"I hope you don't mind that I singled you out, but I thought you could use a break from the smoke," I tell her.

"Oh, no, that's fine," she responds. "Actually, I was hoping we would get the chance to be alone."

"You were?"

"Don't act so surprised," she says, a smile spreading across her face. "I thought it was obvious I was into you."

"Well, I guess I wasn't sure. Actually, I thought you might be interested in Paul."

She wrinkles her nose. "Paul? He's nice and all, but he's not really my type. He can be kind of a dork sometimes."

"He's not that bad," I say before realizing I'm defending the guy I've been insecure about. "Anyway, what is your type?"

"Well, I like a guy who can make me laugh. Someone who's comfortable being himself and goes for what he wants."

This would be the perfect moment for me to ask her out or kiss her or something, but none of that happens. Instead we're interrupted by the ungodly sound of someone retching their guts out behind us.

We turn to see Lucy hunched over and violently expelling the contents of her stomach onto the ground. Any chance of a romantic moment happening tonight is effectively ruined.

We walk back towards the others, who are gathered around Lucy in concern.

"Are you okay?" Paul asks her. He runs down a list a symptoms but Lucy denies that anything's wrong.

"I'm fine, really," she insists, like she hadn't just recreated a scene from The Exorcist in the middle of the woods.

"Oh, so you expelled the demon, then?" I ask.

"Yes, Pazuzu has left the building."

In the morning we start packing up and prepare to leave.

"So did you do it?" Lexie asks, referring to me asking Lacey on a date.

"No. I was about to, but then Lucy...you know. Kinda ruined the moment."

Lexie laughs. "Yeah, that would do it."

"But look, I need you to lay off a bit about Lacey," I say, kindly but firmly. "I know you mean well, but it's a lot of pressure."

"I'm sorry," she apologizes. "I know I'm being overzealous. I just want you to be happy."

"And I will be. I am. I had a rough few months, but I'm in a really good place right now."

"That's great! I guess I just felt guilty about everything. I hate that I hurt you."

"I know. But I don't even think about that much anymore. I mostly think about how much you cared about and supported me. Maybe your feelings for me weren't romantic, but they were still real."

"They were, and still are. You're like the brother I never had, and I miss you like crazy." She's starting to tear up, and I know now that whatever negative feelings I had about our breakup are gone. They left the building with Pazuzu.

"I miss you, too. I don't like not having you in my life." I wrap my arms around her. It feels nice having her in my arms again, but it's not a romantic feeling. It's more like the comfort of an old friend.

"I really do love you, Johnny."

"I love you, too, Lexie."

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3.35 Sticky Situation

It’s the second day of our camping trip and I’m realizing that even when she’s on vacation, Lucy is still in work mode. With the spotty cell service on the mountain, she’s not able to do any actual work so she’s channeling all of her energy into making sure things run smoothly on the trip.

She was up before the rest of us this morning cleaning up our mess from the night before and now that everyone’s awake, she’s been looking for things to do. “We should gather more firewood,” she says.

“We have all day to do that,” I tell her. “Just relax. This is a vacation, remember?”

“I know, but I can’t relax when there are things that need to be done. I always get like this when I’m…on vacation.” I have a feeling there’s more going on but before I can ask her about it, Paul jumps in.

“Well, if you can’t relax until things are done, then at least let someone else do it,” he insists. He turns to me. “John and I can gather up some firewood while you get in some relaxation.”

I start to protest the suggestion–I always hate it when I get roped into hard labor just because I’m a guy–but Lucy looks so relieved that I decide to let it go. “Yeah, we’ll take care of it,” I say instead, and Paul and I head off into the woods.

We barely make it a few feet before Paul starts droning on about how you want to make sure you get the right type of wood, and you have to make sure the pieces you pick aren’t too wet, and blah, blah, blah. “Yeah, yeah,” I cut in. “If I have to do this, then I’m gonna do it my way.”

“Oh? What’s your way? If you have any insights, I’m happy to hear them.”

“It’s pretty simple. Is this wood? If yes, then I pick it up.”

“Hmm, ok,” he says, sounding uncertain. “I suppose we’ll see how that goes tonight.” 

“I guess we will.”

“You’re kind of competitive aren’t you?” he asks.

I feel my face growing hot, remembering how I tried–and failed–to show him up on our last hiking trip. “Uh, not really,” I mutter.

“Oh, so, it’s just with me then?” His words would sound confrontational if not for the softness of his tone. He seems more curious than argumentative.

“Look, I’m sorry about all of that. I was just feeling a little insecure with all of the attention you were getting from the girls. I’m trying to be more mature about it, though.”

“Ahh, the girls,” he replies. “That’s what that was about. I don’t see what you’re so insecure about, though.”

“Well, I mean, you’re going to be a doctor, and you’re more athletic than I am.” Spelling out my insecurities isn’t exactly making me feel better about them. 

Paul shrugs. “I don’t even start med school until the fall,” he counters. “Besides, you had everyone laughing and that’s something I’ve never been good at. In fact, I’m famous in my family for telling the worst jokes.”

“Oh, really?” I ask, excited for an opportunity to pass on some advice about something I’m good at. “In my opinion, the main thing people get wrong about comedy is that they try too hard to be funny instead of just finding opportunities naturally.”

“You think so? Maybe that’s where I’m going wrong.”

“It could be. Go ahead, just say what comes to mind without thinking too much about whether or not it’s funny.”

“Uh, ok, what’s brown and sticky?” he asks.

“I don’t know, what is it?”

“A stick!”

This is not a good joke. Like objectively it’s not, but he has this huge grin on his face like he’s standing on stage at a sold out comedy show, and I can’t help but laugh with him. Not in a mean way; he’s so pleased with himself that it’s kind of endearing. “It was good?” he asks eagerly.

“Well…” I choose my words carefully. “Maybe the joke wasn’t the best, but I think you have the right attitude. I’m sure if you start looking out for the humor in different situations then it’ll start coming naturally to you.”

“Ok, well, thanks for the feedback.”

“No problem. We should probably start gathering up that wood. What did you say we should look for again?”

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Transcript below (warning: this is a shitpost)

3.34 Excuses, Excuses

It’s starting to warm up around the time we go camping, although it never gets that cold in San Sequoia in the first place. Seeing Lexie in her hiking gear reminds me of our trip to Granite Falls, which I guess was about a year ago. It’s a bit of a sad memory; after all, that was the beginning of the end for us. But now she seems carefree and happy, no longer burdened with the weight of living a life she wasn't meant for. I have a feeling camping together will go a lot better now that we’re just friends.

Another bonus for this trip is that Lucy, Paul, and Danica are much more experienced with outdoorsy stuff so no one is struggling with things like putting their tents together. Lacey, Lilly, Lexie, and I are more than happy to sit back while the three of them get to work.

Once everything is set up, we start walking around, eager to take in the fresh air and sunshine. As we walk Lexie comes up beside me.

"Kind of weird going camping together again, huh?" She asks.

I laugh awkwardly. "Yeah, it is."

"I promise I won't be too grumpy this time."

"Good, I'd hate to have to feed you to the bears."

Lexie laughs and smacks my arm. "Better not!" We come to a clearing at the end of the trail and decide to take a rest. Lexie and I sit slightly away from the others. "So, what's the deal with you and Lacey?"

"What do you mean?" I respond, knowing full well what she means. Like a lot of people, she's picked up on how much time Lacey and I spend together at work.

"Well, do you like her? Are you just friends? Somewhere in between?"

"Somewhere in between, I guess. I mean, I haven't really been dating since..." I trial off, but we both know how the sentence ends. I haven't really been dating since you broke my heart. The uncomfortable truth.

"I get that, I really do, but I don't want to be the reason you're not putting yourself out there." Her brow furrows and she bites her lip.

"Hey, you're not the reason," I assure her. "It's me. But I've been working on it, and I feel more ready to date now."

"Then why not ask her out?"

"Well for one thing," I pause, looking in Paul's direction. "I don't think I'm the only one interested in her."

"Oh, Lucy's brother? So what? She's either interested in you or she's not. Why give him the chance to be the first one to ask her out?"

Lexie has a point, I'll admit. Maybe I'm just making excuses again. "I'll think about it," I tell her.

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3.33 Maybe There's a Reason

Today Lucy asked me to have lunch with her, but first she wants to stop by the new employee daycare on the second floor and see how her kids’ first day is going.

“It’s their first time being away from family,” she tells me as we walk towards the classroom. “Christopher and I want them to get used to being around other kids, so they’ll be coming here for a few hours a couple of days a week.”

“I’m sure it’s easier for you being close by,” I say. 

“Yeah, it’s nice being able to pop in and see them. I’m trying not to be too overbearing, though.”

Lucy opens the door to the classroom and two brown-haired toddlers make a beeline for her. They have the same face with bright blue eyes and round cheeks and Lucy has them dressed in coordinating outfits–one in blue with his hair slicked back and the other in brown with hair grazing his forehead.

She crouches down and pulls them both in for hugs. “How are my boys?”

“Mama, we missed you!” The one in brown, whose name I learn is Seth, exclaims.

“You Mama friend?” The other twin, Reese, asks me.

“No way, she has cooties!” 

Reese starts giggling. “Mama cooties, mama cooties!” he chants. Lucy picks him up. 

“This is Johnny,” she tells Reese. “He’s actually the cootie monster.” Reese giggles some more. 

“Well, if Sunny Side ever goes under at least we know we can make toddlers laugh,” I quip.

“That’s not exactly hard to do. Reese laughs every time he passes gas.”

“Same, dude, same.”

Lucy says her goodbyes to the boys and we start heading out to the food stall. 

“It seems like things are going well with the students,” Lucy tells me on the way. “Everyone seems to be fitting in well.”

“Yeah, they’re pretty cool people,” I reply.

“They’re all really nice,” Lucy affirms. “Can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

“I might be reading into things too much, but things seem a little tense with you and Lexie.”

“First of all, that’s not a question,” I reply as Lucy cuts her eyes at me. “Secondly, you’re right, there has been some tension, but we’re working through it.”

“Well, whatever is going on, it doesn’t seem to have affected either of your work. I just want to check in with you and make sure everything is okay.”

I think back to my previous conversation with Lucy when she said I can talk to her if I need to. “The truth is, Lexie and I were in a relationship but we broke up last Spring,” I say.

“Wait, I thought she was a lesbian?”

“Well, that’s why we broke up.”

“Oh. Ohhh.”

“Yeah. I took it pretty hard…I dropped out of school because I couldn’t face her,” I admit. “But she’s a really great person. It’s been nice getting to know her again as a friend.”

“That’s good! Maybe there’s a reason she showed up here. Maybe it’s a sign that it’s time to move past all the hurt feelings.”

“Maybe so.”

“Oh, hey, Paul and I are planning a little camping trip in a couple of weeks and I was going to invite you and some of our coworkers along. If you’re interested, maybe you can invite Lexie. It might be a good opportunity for you two to interact outside of work without things being too awkward.”

“Yeah, sure, why not,” I tell her.

While Lucy orders her lunch, I reflect on my last camping trip with Lexie. It didn’t exactly go well, but maybe it will be different now. 

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3.32 You Should Be Proud

After the episode where my Dad was eliminated from Drag Superstar aired, we didn’t get a chance to talk. He was doing his typical viewing party at Roy G. Biv’s and though I was there, Dad was bombarded by fans and phone calls. 

It’s probably for the best, though. I wouldn’t have known what to say. No matter how much I keep trying to put my past behind me, it keeps coming back around to remind me of all of my disappointments and mistakes.

The next morning, though, I manage to catch him alone.

“I guess we need to talk,” he says, and I agree. We sit on the couch.

“First of all, I just want to apologize for talking about our personal business on television,” Dad begins. “I wasn’t really thinking about how that might affect you.”

I shrug. “I mean, you didn’t say anything that wasn’t true. And it’s not like you gave a lot of details or anything.”

“Maybe not, but it still wasn’t right. I’m a public figure now, and I promise to be more careful about what I say about my family in public.”

“A public figure, huh? Don’t go getting a big head, now,” I smirk.

“It’s too late for that.” Dad chuckles softly and once the laughter tapers off we sit in uncomfortable silence.

“I’m sorry, too,” I say finally. “I wasn’t thinking about how my behavior was affecting everyone else, either. And it cost you your dream.” I thought I’d moved past the guilt I had from my partying last summer, but apparently there are still consequences left to face.

“Oh, Johnny, no,” Dad says, putting a hand gently on my shoulder. “Don’t blame yourself for this. The timing wasn’t great, but the only one responsible for my performance on the show is me. Besides, I think my elimination will work out in my favor anyway.”

“Really, how so?”

“Look at this,” he holds up his phone and shows me his Social Bunny feed. “I’m trending! People can’t stop talking about how I shouldn’t have been sent home. I’m already booked out for the next two months!” 

“Wow, that’s amazing!” It seems like everyone is blaming Diamond Adair for Dad’s elimination. Sucks for her, but at least it takes some of the heat off of me. “Two months is a long time to be gone, though. Do you think you and Pops will be ok?”

“Of course, why wouldn’t we be?”

“Well, it’s just that you guys were having some disagreements about me, and you’ve been traveling a lot…”

“Oh, that? We didn’t even realize you heard our arguments. But that was just a bump in the road. We worked through that weeks ago.”

“You did? Well, that’s a relief.” I feel my shoulders relax. I never would've forgiven myself if my parents split up because of fights they had about me. It's good to know that's not something I'll have to worry about.

“We’ve been together for 20 years now. It’s going to take more than a couple of disagreements to break us apart. I’m sorry if we worried you.”

“That’s all right.”

“Let’s make a deal. Can we promise to just talk to each other about what we’re feeling? It seems like we’ve been avoiding the actual issues by jumping to conclusions.”

“Yeah, I promise I’ll do better about that.” I'm noticing a common theme around my conversations with people lately, and I'm realizing I need to just trust that the people in my life will be there for me when I need them.

“Good. So will I. I don’t think we’ve told you, but Pops and I are very proud of you.”

“Proud of me? For what?”

“Well, you’ve been working really hard–not just at your job but with being more responsible and taking care of yourself.”

“Yeah, but–” I start to speak but Dad cuts me off.

“No ‘buts’,” he tells me. “You’ve come a long way and that’s something to be proud of.”

This isn’t how I expected this conversation to go. I thought I'd walk away feeling like I'd ruined Dad's life, but instead I feel hopeful. Maybe Dad is right and things really are getting better. Maybe I do have things to be proud of.

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Drag Superstar Episode 4: The Haunting of Hell House on Haunted Hill

[The queens enter the workroom]

Bridget/Vapore: Congratulations to Velvet on winning the photoshoot challenge!

Darren/Velvet: With a face like this, it was inevitable!

Michael B./Jacqueline: Why couldn’t it have been you with the hurt ankle?

[Everyone laughs]

Michael D./Lady Astrid: Valerie, how are you feeling? 

David/Valerie: I’m disappointed that I didn’t give the challenge my all.

Michael B./Jacqueline: That’s not the Valerie I know! You’ve gotta pick yourself up and do what you came here to do!

David/Valerie: [in a confessional] I came very close to going home last night. If I can’t keep my focus, I might not be so lucky next time.

Diamond: [entering the work room] Well, helloooooooo my queens! I know we’re all shocked by Vixen’s departure due to an injury, but the show goes on! Today you’ll be scaring up the drama in a horror feature called “The Haunting of Hell House on Haunted Hill.” I’ll be directing you on set, so be spooky and don’t forget to make me laugh!

[The queens are assigned their roles and begin rehearsing. Michael B. sees that David is struggling and takes him aside for a chat]

Michael B./Jacqueline: Okay, Valerie, what gives? It’s not like you to be so distracted.

David/Valerie: I know, I just can’t stop worrying about how things are going at home. I’m not used to being away from my kids and husband. 

Michael B./Jacqueline: You’re such a good dad, though. I’m sure your kids will be fine without you.

David/Valerie: I wish I could be sure of that. [crying] It’s just hard being here and not knowing what’s going on.

David/Valerie: [in a  confessional] My kids are good kids, but my son has been heading down the wrong path. [beginning to cry] You do the best you can for your kids, but sometimes it feels like your best isn’t enough.

[The queens get ready and head to the set for filming]

David/Valerie: [in character as Stacy] Now look at what you’ve done! You’ve awakened the–the…[breaking character] I’m sorry, I forgot my lines again.

Diamond: One more try and then we’ll have to move on.

David/Valerie: I’m sorry everyone. I’ll try to get it together.

Michael B./Jacqueline: You’ve got this!

[On the main stage, the final version of “The Haunting of Hell House on Haunted Hill” is shown]

Darren/Velvet: [in character as Beverly] Gee Stacy, having a costume party on the night a crazed serial killer is on the loose sure was a great idea!

David/Valerie: [in character as Stacy] You’re right, Beverly! And it’s even better that we’re having it in the haunted house my grandparents left me. I just hope that no one touches that cursed vase over there.

Bridget/Vapore: [in character as Maria] You mean this cursed vase? [reaches for the vase]

All: Maria, no!

David/Valerie: [in character as Stacy] Now look what you’ve done! You’ve awakened the evil spirit inside the vase! Michael B./Jacqueline: [in character as Didi] And look! Your grandfather's portrait turned into a scary but kind of sexy werewolf!

Bridget/Vapore: [in character as Maria] Oops!

Michael D./Lady Astrid: [in character as Brittany] Um, something’s coming this way! And it’s big!

[A large figure emerges from the shadows as everyone screams]

All: Yamachan???

Yamachan: [giggling] Yes, it’s me, Yamachan! I just stopped by to remind you all that my new movie Yamachan’s Big Adventure is heading to theaters soon! Don't miss it!

All: [laughing] Oh, Yamachan!

[The judges clap]

Diamond: Fantastic work! Judges, what did you think of “The Haunting of Hell House on Haunted Hill”?

Izzy: Everyone was so good that even I’m having a hard time finding fault with it!

Penny: You were all very funny, but Vapore really nailed her role! 

Diego: This group is really the best of the best. I don’t envy Diamond having to decide who goes home tonight.

Diamond: We’re really going to have to get down to the wire with this. It’s going to come down to the finer details. I will say that even though it didn't show in the final cut, Valerie was having a hard time remembering her lines in rehearsal.   Izzy: And wasn't she in the running for elimination last week? Penny: That's true, but I see a lot of potential in Valerie. I don't think it's her time to go yet.

Diego: Then who else do you think deserves to go home tonight?

Penny: I--I don't know.

I’ve made my decision. Vapore Lawave, you are the winner of this week’s challenge! Valerie Galloway, I’m sorry but it’s not your time to shine. You will be going home tonight.

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Vapore Lawave was created by @invisiblequeen! Lady Astrid and Velvet Envy are by @sirianasims!

Drag Superstar Episode 3: Groundbreaking Florals

[The queens enter the workroom]

Michael D./Lady Astrid: [to Vixen] Is everything okay? You seem a bit sluggish today.

Eva/Vixen: I just overdid it in the girl group challenge. I’m sure I’ll be feeling better once I get going!

Darren/Velvet: Congratulations to Valerie on winning the challenge! It should’ve been me, though!

David/Valerie: You wish!

David/Valerie: [in a confessional] I was really excited to win the challenge last week, but reality of being away from home is starting to set in. I just hope I can keep focused on the task at hand.

Diamond: [entering the work room] Well, hellooooooo my queens and welcome to a new day of Drag Superstar! You’re getting closer and closer to the crown, but only one of you will make it all the way. This week everything is coming up roses! Each of you will have a photoshoot with the theme Groundbreaking Florals!

[The queens get ready and begin their photoshoots]

Michael B./Jacqueline: How did your shoot go?

David/Valerie: I don’t think I did very well.

Michael B./Jacqueline: What’s going on? You’ve seemed down all day.

David/Valerie: I’ve just been preoccupied. There was a lot of stuff going on at home when I left and I’m just worried.

Michael B./Jacqueline: I know it’s hard to be away from your family, but they would want you to do the best that you can.

David/Valerie: [in a confessional] It’s hard separating my work life from my home life sometimes. I didn’t stop being a father just because I came here. I just hope my photo is good enough to keep me here.

[On the main stage, the queens' photos are revealed]

Diamond: Excellent work, queens! It’s time to hear from the judges.

Diego: Lady Astrid is quickly becoming my favorite! Her look was astounding, and she really knows how to work the camera!

Penny: I agree, Lady Astrid looks phenomenal…but there’s something about Velvet that really captivated me tonight. 

Diamond: Who do you think missed the mark tonight?

Diego: After last week, I was expecting more from Valerie. It just seemed like she was distracted.

Izzy: Diego’s right, but I don’t think Valerie was the worst tonight. Vixen could’ve brought more. The body was right, but her face seemed uncomfortable.

Vixen: It’s true, I wasn’t bringing my best. The truth is, I injured my ankle in the girl group challenge last week and the pain has been too much. I…I don’t think I can continue in this competition anymore. [Vixen begins to cry]

[Everyone gasps]

Diamond: I’m very sorry to hear that you’re leaving, but your health comes first. Vixen, it’s not your time to shine, but I wish you the best!

With that said, it’s time to announce the winner of this week’s challenge…Velvet Envy!

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Drag Superstar Episode 2: Girl Groups

[The queens enter the workroom ready for a new day of competition]

Bridget/Vapore: I think congratulations are in order for Lady Astrid for winning the first challenge!

Michael B./Jacqueline: Now we know who we need to beat!

Michael D./Lady Astrid: [laughs] Good luck with that!

Diamond: [entering the work room] Well, helloooooooo my queens! You’ve all survived your first challenge–but don’t get too comfortable! The competition is only just beginning. Tonight’s challenge is to choreograph and perform a live version of my new single "C U N Tartosa"--Now available on SimTunes! Jacqueline, Lady Astrid, Valerie, and Velvet will be Group 1. Darla, Vapore, and Vixen will be Group 2. Stars, start shining!

David/Valerie: [in a confessional] I’m feeling very confident about this challenge. Everyone in my group has some performance experience. I sing as part of my act, so I think I have a good chance of winning.

Darren/Velvet: Uh oh, looks like some trouble is brewing with the other group!

Michael D./Lady Astrid: They don't look very happy with Darla.

David/Valerie: I know she was nervous about this challenge. And hearing her rehearse I can understand why.

Diamond: Tonight on the main stage, our girl groups are giving it all they've got. First up, it’s Serendipity’s Offspring!

Michael B./Jacqueline: [singing] If you want to get with me

Michael D./Lady Astrid: [singing] You know where I’m gonna be

Darren/Velvet: [singing] Lying on the beach with a mimosa

David/Valerie: [singing] Guess I’ll C U N Tartosa!

Diamond: Coming up next is No Boiz Allowed!

Eva/Vixen: [singing] Tartosa is the perfect place

Bridget/Vapore: [singing] To get away from the rat race”

Elena/Darla: [singing off-key] “People say it’s soooOoO hermosa”

All: “Guess I’ll C U N Tartosa!”

Diamond: Now that both groups have performed, it’s time to hear from the judges! Penny, what did you think of Serendipity’s Offspring?

Penny: You were all fabulous! I loved the choreography and your voices were beautiful!”

Diamond: And what did we think of No Boiz Allowed? Izzy?

Izzy: Vixen and Vapore sounded great…Darla, just stick to looking pretty!

Diamond: Serenity’s Offspring, you’re all meant to be stars…but one of you is destined to be the winner of this challenge. The queen whose star is shining brightest tonight is Valerie Galloway!

Darla Harding, I'm sorry but it's not your time to shine. You will be leaving the competition tonight.

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3.31 The Almighty Algorithm

It’s getting easier by the day to treat Lexie like any other coworker. Today I'm showing her the process for making thumbnails for our videos. We're having fun laughing at the ridiculous photos the photographer sent us, and it almost feels like old times. 

“Oh my God, can you imagine making this face when you're surprised?” Lexie giggles, pointing to a picture of Lilly with her mouth hanging open in an exaggerated gasp.

“I know, it's way too much but for some reason that's what the algorithm likes!” I explain. 

“I feel like I've heard the word ‘algorithm’ a thousand times since I started here.”

“Well, get used to it. We do everything according to the Almighty Algorithm here.”

“And that's a thousand and one.” She smirks. It feels nice to joke around with Lexie again. The bad memories are slowly being replaced by good ones. 

“You're living with Kelsey now, right?” I ask. So far, our conversations have mostly revolved around work, but I figure it's about time we start catching up for real.

“Yeah, their roommate moved out, so they asked if I could take the other bedroom.”

“That's cool.” I pause. “I wasn't sure if you moved out of Cece’s place because of me.”

“Oh no,” she assures me. “It's nothing like that.”

“Good, because I wouldn't want you to stop being friends with her on my account.” 

“Definitely not. I think we’ve both just been busy. How has Cece been by the way?”

"She's good. I think she and Ben are getting more serious. I know she's been anxious to get back to performing once she graduates.”

“That's really great! What about Chantal? I know she's been keeping low since the court case.”

“Yeah, that was a wild ride, but she's been focusing on school for now. How are things with you?”

“I don't have any complaints. I came out to my parents over the summer.”

“Oh really? How did that go?” I realize that while I was busy feeling sorry for myself, she was going through the difficult process of coming out. I didn't really think about what life was like for her while I was self-destructing. 

“It went really well. They were surprised, but they've been really supportive. They even went to Pride with me. We made shirts and everything!”

“That's awesome! I'm glad they had a positive reaction.” I want to apologize for not being there for her, but I feel like the sentiment is so attached to our breakup that it would open up a conversation I’m not ready for. Instead I divert our attention back to work. 

“What do you think, is this one thumbnail material?” I show her a photo of Lacey contorting her face into what I can only assume is an expression of sadness.

Lexie bursts into laughter. “She looks deranged!”

“So yes, then?”

“Oh yeah, that’s definitely going on the thumbnail. The Algorithm demands it!”

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3.30 Waiting

Cece’s first semester of her senior year is drawing to a close and she realizes that dropping out now would be a waste. She’s so close to graduation…if she can only just hold out for a few more months, she’ll be able to join Ben on the road and fully focus on her career.

For the most part, that is. Being apart from Ben for the past few months has really reinforced for Cece how much she enjoys having him around. It’s an odd feeling–she’s always been independent and having a relationship was never on her radar. Now, though, the thought of performing without Ben by her side doesn’t seem as satisfying. It scares her a bit to rely so much on someone else’s presence, but mostly she feels a sense of security and belonging.

When Ben is in town she carefully broaches the subject of their future. She knows Ben would like to be married someday, and while the idea of marriage was never that appealing to her in the past she was beginning to have a change of heart.

She lets him know in her matter-of-fact, rather unromantic way that if he wants to propose she would prefer something private and subdued. “And no diamonds or anything flashy for the ring,” she adds. “Just a plain gold band.” Ben grins and promises to keep her preferences in mind.

Meanwhile Chantal is only becoming more frustrated with university. After she finishes this year, she’ll still only be halfway through her schooling. She wants to be out making moves, not reading textbooks and writing papers on things that have no real world applications. 

It doesn’t help that Kayla is starting to think more seriously about starting her own company. It’s all she’s been talking about when they see each other at the gym. Kayla has been networking with various entrepreneurs around Del Sol and will probably have no problem finding investors when the time comes. What she lacks, though, is a clear vision for her company.

She tells Chantal that she wants to stick to fitness, but she’s burnt out on the instructional videos she’s been posting on social media. Chantal can’t help but offer up some ideas for products Kayla could create. She thinks about these sorts of things all the time, and her experience at SNOOT provided a lot of examples of what doesn’t work.

Kayla seems interested in her suggestions, but Chantal worries that she made a mistake in sharing them. After all, those were ideas she was holding onto for when she starts her own company someday. She wants her friend to be successful but she doesn’t want to give up on her dreams in the process.

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3.29 The Elephant

Even though I’m feeling better about Lexie and her friends working with me, there’s still a little awkwardness. It’s the elephant in the room that we’re all trying to ignore, but the close proximity makes it hard to overlook.

Lucy is relying on me a lot to help the students out, and after our talk I’m really trying to prove that I can be counted on. That means putting my personal feelings aside–whatever they are–and doing the best that I can.

I’m still trying to work out exactly how I feel about Lexie. It’s been so long since we broke up now, but in some ways it still feels like the wound is fresh. I can’t decide if my behavior over the summer was me numbing my pain or if I was wallowing in it. At any rate, I was finally starting to feel happy and hopeful for my future when my past basically showed up on my doorstep.

I’ve been thinking about Lacey, too. I wonder if I would have ended up asking her out if Lexie hadn’t shown up? Maybe it’s for the best that I haven’t. I needed a wake-up call to help me realize I still have some shit to work out. I don’t want to set myself up for failure by starting a relationship before I’m ready.

The Lacey factor has only added to the awkwardness, though, since she’s been picking up on the vibes between me and my old friends. “So are you friends with them?” She asks, gesturing towards the students.

“Or were you friends with them?” Lilly questions.

“Kind of both, I guess,” I say. “We hung out a lot when we had classes together, but I haven’t seen them in a while."

“That makes sense,” Lacey responds. “It just seems a little…tense at times.”

I know I need to choose my words carefully. I’m getting tired of lying to make myself look better but I’m not the only person involved in this situation. I try to remember what I’ve learned in therapy about maintaining boundaries. 

“Sometimes friendships can get complicated, but there’s no ill will there,” I explain. “Anyway, I respect everyone here so I don’t really want to talk behind anyone’s back.”

“Hmm, that’s a bit of a pageant answer, but I guess I’ll accept it,” says Lilly.

“Or maybe he’s just not petty,” Lacey counters. She turns to me, laying her hand on my arm. “I think that’s really respectable.”

“Well, they’re all great people. I think they’ll fit in really well.”

I try to imagine what things will be like a few years from now. My relationship with Lexie will be a distant memory and all of the negative feelings will be long gone. I hope by then that we’re friends and we’re both where we’re meant to be.

Sometime between now and then we’re going to have to have a very awkward–and probably painful–conversation, and I don’t think I’m ready for that yet.

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