Bad Poet | [ Hvitserk x Reader ]

❛ pairing | hvitserk x reader, hvitserk/ivar [platonic brother spats]

❛ type | drabble

❛ summary | you know hvitserk gets around-- even without ubbe.

❛ tags | verbal arguments, hvitserk has a crush, ivar is an ass.

❛ sy’s notes | hi. i’m still around; just kind of... tired. i’ll write some snippets, i think.

Hvitserk isn’t exactly the smartest of the Ragnarssons.

You wove a band of leather into your hair as you listened, carefully, and quietly to the brothers at their table. “What kind of poetry is that,” Ivar chided to his brother, tracing the lines of Hvitserk’s drawing tablet. “She won’t want to hear this. Tell her she has pretty eyes.”

“Everyone must tell her that.”

“Who is everyone?” Ivar mocked. “She has no suitors this summer. I paid them off just for you, br--”

You glanced up from your work, catching eyes with Ivar’s bobbing head.

“Shht!” Hvitserk thumped his fist on the table. “Why don’t you shut up?”

“Is she stupid? I’m sure she knows, Hvitserk.”

Say Your Piece III: Pay Up | [ Hvitserk x Reader ]

❛ pairing | modern artist!hvitserk x plus size writer!reader

❛ type | multi

❛ summary | he’s not sure if he’s dreaming-- or if it’s all true. he’s teetering off the thin line of his sanity.

❛ tags | verbal arguments, nsfw scene, dream scenes, suicidal ideation, verbal abuse, emotional abuse, stalker lady, break ups.

❛ sy’s notes | please read my tags.

His dreams were craggy and dark, full of incomprehensible shapes, swirling and drawing him deeper and deeper in, until he’s sure that something might eat him up whole. Like a river monster crocodile god-- in the shape of his wretched book agent whose pursed thin lips left stains that he could never wash off. He didn’t want it, he told himself he couldn’t want it. A sudden and wonderful pressure snatched him from his dreamscape, sent him spiraling back down to the living, where he lay in perfumed pastel blue sheets.

“What the fu--” he might have finished that off, if not for the wonderful pressure crushing his hips. As the haze solidified into definite shapes he finally made out your lovely shape sitting on his belly. The soft satin blue of lingerie. He recognized the scalloped edges of lace. He always imagined it would look like an angel on your skin, sheer and brilliant, and there it was in front of him. Or-- your beautiful ass was, anyway. “Baby girl?”

Say Your Piece II: Heart Breaker

❛ pairing | hvitserk x reader, hvitserk x ?

❛ type | double triple? shot, mistakes were made au

❛ chp summary | after the reader says she doesn’t want hvitserk; he makes a bad decision. it gets worse from there.

❛  tags | plus size reader, verbal arguments, extreme social anxiety, extreme body insecurity, drinking, hateful words, illustrator hvitserk x writer reader, mention of infidelity, shame, OCs, sexual frustration, blackmail, cheating mentioned, verbal abuse, sexual blackmail, poor communication? it’s more likely than you think. tags to be added.

❛ request | So Hvitserk request (you a asked for it 😂) Remember the Little Lovers event and the self-conscient plus size reader who didn’t want to have sex ?Well I didn’t get the sex lol. I want my Hvitserk to show a woman how her body is enjoyable. Thank you 😊 for @alicedopey

❛ sy’s note | i’ll eventually get you your sex scene, DAMN IT.

He wakes with a blaring headache caused by a stream of fresh morning light against his soft cheek. He pulls his arms around you-- or, what he thought was you, as the moment he does so, he knows it’s wrong. Where soft folds and overflowing breasts were, he finds thin limbs and small breasts.

It’s not your body-- he realizes all at once. The high rise apartment that overlooked the city wasn’t, either. It was the fruit of an accomplished older woman, whose many books hovered on a white shelf beside a white bed. Everything in the room holds the same pure standard. He flings himself from the bed, his naked ass colliding with a nightstand. The items ripple over the surface and settle into new positions. The woman pushes up, dragging the painfully monochrome white fluffy sheet to cover her flat chest. 

“Hvitserk?” 

Erika, in all her sharp-eyed glory, stares right back at him. Vomit spins up his throat, incited by the affection by with her eyes considered him. Hvitserk scrambles over the perfectly plain hardwood floors, upchucking up what’s left of his agitated stomach after his pathetic night out on the town. 

“Hvitserk!” 

Say Your Piece | [ Illustrator!Hvitserk x Writer! Reader ]

❛ pairing | hvitserk x reader, hvitserk x ?

❛ type | double shot, mistakes were made au

❛ summary | illustrator hvitserk is in love with his best friend. so much so, that he doesn’t mind her publishing under his name due to her social anxiety and anxiety regarding her body. hvitserk doesn’t mind doing the work for promoting her book; he wants her happy, healthy, and content; not everyone agrees.

❛  tags | plus size reader, verbal arguments, extreme social anxiety, extreme body insecurity, drinking, hateful words, illustrator hvitserk x writer reader, mention of infidelity, shame, OCs, sexual frustration, tags to be added.

❛ request | So Hvitserk request (you a asked for it 😂) Remember the Little Lovers event and the self-conscient plus size reader who didn’t want to have sex ?Well I didn’t get the sex lol. I want my Hvitserk to show a woman how her body is enjoyable. Thank you 😊 for @alicedopey

❛ sy's notes | no sex in this scene.

So Hvitserk request (you a asked for it 😂) Remember the Little Lovers event and the self-conscient plus size reader who didn’t want to have sex ?Well I didn’t get the sex lol. I want my Hvitserk to show a woman how her body is enjoyable. Thank you 😊

“In your book, Li Jie is quite standoffish. He doesn’t even pick a woman in the Muslim harem he visits. What kind of girl do you think Li Jie would go for?” 

He has a brilliant blue watercolour brush between his fingertips, scribbling the look of a tall Chinese man. His features are sharp from the eyes to the nose. Even his razor-thin lips have a look of sharpness to them. The more he looks at the picture, the less of an answer he has. 

“Uh,” his smile grows. “Harems aren’t on his brand. King-- fuck, what was his name?” 

“Zhang Ye?” 

“Yeah that. Fuck I have to come up with better names. Zhang Ye picks skinny, stick ladies. Li Jie. He likes-- he likes… thick women.” 

Ivar leers at him. “Thick?” 

Hvitserk nods. “She has to know how to cook. Don’t think he has time for it.” 

“Are you projecting there, Hvitserk?” 

Cold Bath | [ Hvitserk x Reader ]

❛ pairing | hvitserk x reader

❛ type | drabble

❛ summary | it was once his promise to make you a proper ice bath. apparently, that’s harder than it looks.

❛  tags | reference to paganism, chilly hvitty.

The chill of winter is not so harsh after he’s been out there for two days, living on the back of the wilderness. The burn of his knuckles around the metal becomes another extension of his hand. At last, the fruit of his labors allowed him to use the metal clasps to drag out the third of three chunks of ice. After he dragged the saw from point to point, joined by only the occasional flap of a bird’s wings soaring through the sky. The ice gave way.

Finally— Hvitserk fell on his ass and then his back with his arms tightly woven together. At least— he’d finally done it!

“Hvitserk!” he hears his name vibrating across the crackling song of the frozen gulf. Its strange sounds are one with his knowledge of the mystic water that once consumed him; baptized him in reality. “Hvitserk!”

Soiled VI: The Shieldmaiden, Gunnhild.

❛ pairing | hvitserk x reader

❛ type | multi

❛ summary | in the aftermath of the attack, jonakr doesn’t react how you might expect. of course, that doesn’t mean you’re happy.

❛  warnings | mention of death, assault, angry hvitserk, elements of misogyny.

❛ sy’s notes | another chapter as requested by... i feel like @alicedopey​ did at some point.

x x x

A few stabs. Ten, fifteen, twenty swishes of an ill-fated blade. Maybe a hundred. It’s a great big blur of red-- of just how many times your sax met his limp body. Only that your blade snaps into two, leaving you clinging onto the handle of horn, shaking. A bloodied hunk of meat in your tower. The blood streams in rivulets from the puddle of blood freely, and as you stand, your miserable sobs break from your lips. Come tomorrow— Jonakr would see what you had done. You lack remorse for killing this man. But Jonakr… he was different from his brother. A man of honour.

You would feel for his loss. Even if this man— Valtýr sickened you to the bones. 

On his belt, you find keys slippery with blood. Your fingers tremor, making quick work of the castle door. This doesn’t make sense— you tell yourself, why princes had to fight over someone who was so clearly not worth it. You were a daughter of slavery, no matter where you went, it chased you to the ends of the earth. You swing the door open. There you find Jonakr standing on the steps, his large fists turned over one another. Your one and only instinct— run. 

You slip down the steps. He doesn’t dare, nor his men, to stop you.

Follow the Outcast || [Hvitserk x Reader]

❛ pairing | hvitserk x reader

❛ type | oneshot

❛ summary | when hvitserk is cast out, she follows

❛  warnings | outcast, what happened to the chickens? 

❛ Requests filled | It looks worse than it is. You don’t want to get involved with me. With this. Do you want me to show you? Can I kiss you? What did they do to you? I’m not most people. You’re safe with me. 

❛  sy’s notes | I made a fix it fic for my queen of fix-its, @lisinfleur . Happy birthday! I hope you don’t mind some angst for a birthday fic. And a better Ubbe!

“Get me beyond the walls,” you cornered Ubbe, the day before he would leave for Iceland. You might never see the man before, and for this, he owed you a great task. 

“He is sick.” Ubbe says, shifting weight from one leg to another. “Most women would not chase a sick man. There are others—“

Poor Hvitserk— thrown out, cast out, sent away. You heard such things of the people of Kattegat. Those who were not blind followers of Björn knew of his pain, were not blind to the plight of Aslaug, and reported those injustices freely to one another. It was fitting that Lagertha died. In your view, she was an old and accomplished Shieldmaiden.  Any other death would have been an insult toward her. 

“I do not want others.” You hiss. “I am not most others. I want him.”

Fake Mistletoe || [Hvitserk x Reader]

"This is not mistletoe! I won't kiss you." "Oh, come on! It's a tradition! Don’t ruin Christmas Eve!” (Björn or Hvitserk)

⇁ pairing | Hvitserk x Reader

⇁ tw | hvit being lazy, err, babies eating things they shouldn’t.

⇁ summary | hvitserk is supposed to find mistletoe for his wife. this works too, right?

Jul decorations fill him with fond memories when Sigurd was alive, and all was well, and no one was dead. It’s been some time since that very day when Ragnar would help him decorate. Ubbe would chase him down, bring him back, and they would pin mistletoe up together. Now Ubbe was somewhere else: by Iceland, or a strange new land… and he was here.

“Don’t eat that, it’s not-- god, Siafi, out!”

A smile tugs at his cheeks when little Lítli dodges his mother’s arms, bolting past you and straight into him. Hvitserk snatches up his son, picking free a nut out of his little lips. Hvitserk drops Lítli back on the ground and watches as he doddles out, laughing toward a thrall who snatches him up.

Waiting for Thor I: Sickly

❛ pairing | hvitserk x reader

❛ type | multi

❛ summary | hvitserk is hallucinating-- and can’t really understand why she’s even still here.

❛  warnings | female!reader, S6!Hvitserk, Hallucinations, Alcohol Abuse

❛ sy’s notes | @lisinfleur requested a this have extra parts.

Hvitserk woke with a start, laying on the dusty floor, reaching for someone who wasn’t there and would never be there, before he even realized he was dreaming again. The door, the windows outside were covered with patches of her familiar dress. He has no idea if it’s morning, or afternoon, or evening. Maybe the answer was all three.

His fire was a lowly simmer. The coals were warm, and the wood was hot to the touch like the simmering guilt that surged in his unmedicated brain. It’s pulsing as if it’s expanding too large and hot in his head again. He would go about his day fetching mead, stoking a fire, alone with his thoughts. Nothing would be alright, but he would survive another day. If Ubbe left him alone. If Ubbe just left him alone without these expectations and those eyes.

Those disappointed eyes that followed his cup. That was why he was here. Where he couldn’t think about it if he was drunk in a cabin. Ubbe wouldn’t look for him himself, he reminds himself with an echo that spreads through the cabin. Ubbe doesn’t care enough to. Hvitserk ruts in the room, his long brown hair dragging over the dirt of the day until he found the flaky logs that he sought out. Maybe it would not be so bad, Hvitserk told himself, and for a moment, things are okay again.

“Hvitserk is a drunk,” the words fill the room. Hvitserk whirls around seeking his older brother. He’s nowhere to be found. “And a sick man.”

What She Really Wants VIII: The Date

❛ pairing | older-jackass!hvitserk x reader

❛ type | multi

❛ summary | after mads announces he wants to join the wolves, hvitserk decides to stop him at whatever cost.

❛  warnings | blackmail, slight smut, 

A wolf.

Hvitserk’s colour paled from his cheeks. Gone. Completely gone. This… this was the problem about coming into his life. He knows now why your mother wanted him gone from this whole scene. A scene that he hadn’t been thrilled to get into as a kid either. But, well-- family. This was a family business.

“What’s that?” you work on a smile. “A football team?”

Hvitserk flickers his eyes back over to Mads, pleading him for time. The fact that he barely got you into some strange, limbo relationship where things were not so hard was a miracle. His stomach suddenly feels wound up and its not with the sugar in his belly.

“Yeah,” Mads answers. “Football team.”

There was that, Hvitserk relaxes. A moment to take a breath. He runs his hand through his hair and caresses your arm.

“Where’s that?” Magnus says. “Is it far?”

Mads looks down to his cake, bobbing his head in a small smile that pulls at his lips. “Not too far.”

What’s Mine, Is Mine || Kinktober Drabbles [V]: Hvitserk + 69 & Jealousy

❛  warnings | thrall-kink, dub!con, people as possessions, 69, jealousy, owner/slave.

❛ sy’s notes | ahhh, yes, because there isn’t enough thrall smut out there.

It was his third of children with Thora. While he welcomed the snoozing child, he had certain needs to be met. Hvitserk, unlike many men, was not one to force himself on his wife and justify it as the needs of marriage.

“Thrall,” Hvitserk calls out to you. “Come here.”

You set the last of Hvitserk’s sons into bed for that night. They slept comfortably like their mother, exhausted from the day’s activities. You clutch your skirt as you approach him shyly. That was what he liked, unbeknownst to you. A woman that knew what she wanted to do with her body is great. One that is shy? Better.

Hvitserk reaches out, squeezing your ass behind wool. He knocks a piece of hair free from your shoulders, flicking his fingers under the hem of your neckline and pull to expose your flesh. “You know what I want.”

His Saxon Whore

❛ pairing | Hvitserk x Saxon Whore!reader

❛ type | oneshot

❛ summary | having grown up in a world where there are no brothels, he finds them a mystery when he meets her in york. he comes to see her-- but its not always about sex. 

❛  warnings | prostitute!reader, vikings/saxons, slightly rude!hvitserk, mother whoring out daughter

❛ sy’s notes | if i left out a tag, i’m sorry.

They all told him his dick would fall off.

But he didn’t really care.

There were no brothels at home. Thralls? Yes. Plenty and plenty of warm pussies he could buy. But nothing was cheaper, and more worth his coin, than the little brothel he came upon in York one day. Quivering little bodies who explained, quite willingly, that they were meant for the sort of work Hvitserk came to take them for.

So yanking her leg out really wasn’t necessary. But as he found out, she preferred a man that knew what she liked. Not politely giving coin but, deliciously being chucked over his shoulder and swept off like a man from raid coming home. And really... that’s what this was.

“Who you here to see this time, sweetheart?”

Hvitserk’s eyes scan over the woman, whose sloppy skirts are picked up over the spider veins that run up her shapely legs. She’s seen him before, no doubt. The woman has a tendency to pick on men she deems as worthy targets. Baby boys looking for a mommie. But he’s never had mommie problems-- or, none that he couldn’t handle.

He turns his head from her small, meager little hut toward a thatched roof with soft planks of wood to support it. It bore an iron door. Mainly because after his last visit, he claimed that the do. It opens and a farmer skitters out hiding his face as he goes. Likely didn’t want to tell his misses the shillings he burned.

“(Y/N), like usual.”

What She Really Wants V: No Strings Attached

❛ pairing | hvitserk x reader, ? x reader

❛ type | multi

❛ summary | hvitserk and the reader struggle in their interaction-- but mads is just happy to have a complete family.

❛  warnings | slut shaming, jealousy, slight revenge.

“He’s taken you to court?”

“No,” you answer Asta, tightening your fingers around the wheel of your car. “But he wants his name on the birth certificate. So we went to get the test done.”

Asta goes on. “Well. You did lie on the first.”

“I know,” you say, curt and hard. When you were inevitably asked who could be his father, you had listed Magnus as the possible. Of course, when that test came negative-- you had listed that you simply didn’t know who it could have been.

A lie, of course.