Homoqueer Jewhobbit

Antique Jewish Hamsa amulets and other Jewish talismans from Morocco, Kurdistan and Israel. 🪬 (png)

Applesauce from scratch you can all suck my tdick

Homemade latkes you all fucking wish you were me

my cat Meatball’s hanukkah sweater started kinda coming off, so my girlfriend went to fix it, and as she did so she said to him, in her most tender and maternal voice, “aww, is your shirt coming off? whore”

happy honka from tumblr’s favorite slut

Contact lenses are shaped like yarmulkes. This is because they help your eyes to be more observant

Aaaand the photoset. Done for now.

She is finished 🕎

Had someone very seriously suggest to me that you could bake latkes to make them healthier and I was like. absolutely not. the oil is the point. the oil burned for eight days and eight nights and gave us light to see by. it is still possible, against all odds, to live in a time of miracles. the oil is the point.

objectively, this is the greatest piece of decor my roommate could have added to our apartment

Oh holy shit I WANT ONE

This but he plays this song:

“Why should Christmas get all the cool sweaters???” -Mabel Pines probably

#the miracle of the eight day fire hazard

The episode would end with it dangerously heating up after the final candle is lit. She would then have to throw it at the monster of the week, where it would erupt into flames like a deus ex machina IED. We would learn an important lesson about family or friendship or trust or whatever, and also probably something important about not wearing clothes with batteries in them. It would be immediately replaced by a glittery back-up sweater so reflective and shiny that everyone in a 20 yard radius would be blinded trying to look at it. I can see it in my mind

Like this

character idea: priest who's just a really passive aggressive atheist.

You can do this as a rabbi.

"The Brothers Grimm were important contributors to popular cultural European literature" and "The Brothers Grimm were violently antisemitic and misogynistic" are two facts that can and should coexist with each other.

I feel like the reason there aren’t any ‘Jewish hero fights the Fair Folk’ stories is because we’d easily get out of that situation.

Like, put Hershel of Ostropol in any situation involving the Fair Folk and bro would talk his way out.

This is why I’m not really scared of paranormal beasties. But yes, I’d enjoy reading this happen.

Names have power? Give them your secular name and not your Hebrew one.

If you eat their food you’re trapped? It’s not kosher anyways.

They speak in riddles? What, and you didn’t grow up answering a question with a question?

Confuse the Fair Folk with impossible halachic questions: if a man falls off a roof and onto a woman and as a result she becomes pregnant, is he obligated to marry her and is the child a mamzer? If meat is grown in a laboratory from a mix of various animal cells is it kosher, and is it even meat, and what bracha would you even say on it? Is a unicorn permitted to cleanse a poisoned stream on Shabbat using the innate purifying powers of its horn or does it count as work? Can it be justified as pikuach nefesh? Can necromancy be justified as pikuach nefesh, if one approaches necromancy with the understanding that it is just delayed medical assistance?

And if all else fails, you can always get out a fleischig pan, kick ass and take names, and don’t forget to say the blessing for fucking someone’s day up:

BARUCH ATA ADO-NOT TODAY ASSHOLE

anyway. ethical teaching from pirkei avot 2:21 that I think we could all benefit from committing ourselves to in this moment

A review by a Jewish Pogrom scholar on why the violence in Amsterdam is not a Pogrom against Jewish folks and why it is dangerous and unhelpful to call it one.