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#video – @holyfunnyhistoryherring on Tumblr
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must there be a title

@holyfunnyhistoryherring

is it not enough to just vibe
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[Video ID:

YouTuber HBomberGuy, in front of a wall with floral wallpaper, faces the camera while talking. He says:

“Here he is dipping his webbed flippers into the pool of climate change, using his signature Shapiro intellect”

The video cuts to a clip of a speech from Ben Shapiro, who seems to be in a classroom. Ben Shapiro says:

“So, let’s say- let’s say, for the sake of argument, that all of the water levels around the world rise by about- let’s say, 5 feet, over the next 100 years- say, 10 feet, by the next 100 years, and puts all of the low lying areas on the coast underwater. Right, which, let’s just say, all of that happens. You think those people aren’t just going to sell their homes and move?”

The camera briefly zooms in on Shapiro’s face, which seems relatively expressionless.

The video cuts back to HBomb’s set, where only the floral wall is visible. Banging and hacking sounds start as the wall shakes; a hole is being slowly chopped into it from behind with an axe. HBomb slowly becomes visible as the hole grows large enough to fit his face through. After a few seconds, HBomb stops chopping at the wall and sticks his head through the hole with a manic expression. HBomb yells:

“Just one small problem: sell their houses to who, Ben? Fucking Aquaman?”

End ID.]

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memewhore
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autumngracy

This is so wholesome omg

[Video description: upper part of the screen shows footage of a guy in a Jurassic Park tank top. He's standing, wearing a VR head set and holding two odd controllers. Lower part of screen shows what he is seeing. An animated yellow gorilla, being controlled by another player. One that sounds like a young boy. Text on screen reads, "Grown man teaches a kid how to do math 💀😭". Captions spell out the conversation.

"I wanna learn about division."

"What is your favorite video game?"

"Among us VR."

"You have to think of, how many Among Us characters would you have in each lobby? So for instance with six divided by three, you have six players being split into three lobbies. How would you evenly split-?"

"Ooh. Three times two and then it already has three, it already has six, so two?"

"Yes! Exactly! Alright. Now, say you have fourty two divided by seven for example. Forty two characters, that you have to split into, seven Among Us lobbies. How would you evenly spread them out?"

"Six?"

"Yes! How'd you find that?"

*happy noises* "I did six times seven and we already have forty two and seven, which equals six."

"Exactly! Now what is fifty six divided by seven?"

"Eight?"

"Yes!"

"Yay!"

"Wooo! What grade are you in?"

"I'm in second grade. I asked to impress my crush."

"That's W rizz! Dude, now you can teach her division."

"We gon go on date."

"Where you gonna go?"

"Burger King."

A little despairing, "Why Burger King?"

"She's gonna become my Burger Queen."

"Oh My God."

/End description.]

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buttwyatt

me

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leupagus

I’m retroactively furious at everyone who’s used this video as a meme because nothing they’ve ever used for the format is as funny as what she actually says and does here

[Video: woman with her hair in a messy bun is sittingon a couch. "I had to unfollow NASA on Instagram because it made me too crazy!" Word crazy is drawn out. Footage cuts to a man nodding along and back to her. "They would be like, this is a picture of a fucking black hole! And I was like (screams)". /End description.]

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So, the women’s speed climbing world record got smashed today by Aries Susanti Rahayu (@AriesClimber). 6.995 s. First posted sub 7 sec time (with a splinted middle finger!). Amazeballs!

damn. damn!!

OMG this is SO BADASS

[Image: A gif of Peter, Miles, and Gwen from ‘Into the Spiderverse.’ They are all in full costume, and they look surprised as their spider senses tingle.

The next image is an excerpt from Aries Susanti Rahayu’s wiki page. The highlighted passage reads, “She has been nicknamed 'Spiderwoman.’”

END ID]

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“Your Black Friend" animated short film by Ben Passmore, Alex Krokus & Krystal Downs

truly accurate.

I love this

Wow

The reality

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limerancy

Can someone please add a transcript to this?

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mangota

[Transcript:]

Your black friend is sitting in a coffee shop. He’s eating a po’ boy from a deli around the corner, even though he knows he’s not supposed to. He’s hoping the white guilt will keep the barista from confronting him about it. Your black friend is listening to a conversation between a nicely dressed rich white lady, and the barista.

“I saw this sketchy guy coming out of this back yard with a bike and I called the cops right away.” - (rich white lady)

“What’d he look like?” - (barista)

“Oh I don’t know, like, black and tall with dreads and black. The bike was blue with drop bars, a broken spoke, and a brown leather saddle.” - (rich white lady)

“Was the house on, uh France street? Did he have a nose ring?” - (barista)

“Yeah, I don’t know?” - (rich white lady)

“That sounds like Darren. He comes here all the time. That’s his house. That’s his bike.” - (barista)

(Record scratch sound effect)

This is an important moment. Your black friend has seen this many times: a white person, normally unaware of their racism, blunders in a moment in which it is totally undeniable. He knows that this woman will still not see it, though. She is equally afraid of black people, and the realization of that fear, it will take someone like the barista – seemingly woke and race savvy – to clarify what has just happened for the rich lady. But your black friend knows the barista will say nothing. What white people fear the most is making things awkward.

Your black friend would like to say something to the racist lady, but doesn’t want to appear to be that angry black man. He knows this type of person expects that from him, and he will lose before he begins. ‘This is why I have white friends!’ he thinks. White people are allowed to be both angry and listened to, while he is expected to be mad calm. He wishes he could make you understand this and so many other things.

Your black friend wonders if you know that unlike you, he has to constantly monitor his speech, affect, and dress relative to his environment. A misreading could mean the difference between being the black friend and being that black guy.

Your black friend wishes you understood why he hates it. HATES it, when the barista calls him ‘baby’ like she’s his aunty. Or any other black woman over the age of fifty. Your black friend wishes you’d play more than Beyoncé. There are more black performers than Beyoncé! And he is worried that you do not know that! 

Your black friend HATES it, that you slide into black presentations thoughtlessly. He feels like you’re mocking him with your ‘blacksent,’ but knows that you are totally unaware of this.

Your black friend feels like a man without a country. Your black friend knows that he’s valued both by black and white people for his close proximity to whiteness, but is also totally devalued for it simultaneously. He is lost in this contradiction, and held responsible for it. 

Your black friend would like to forget all his fears and frustrations around race, (police siren sound) but it’s always impossible. 

(Rich white lady laughing) “I think I deserve a mocha today!” - (rich white lady)

“Hey, uh, excuse me–” - (black guy)

“Hey baby? You can’t have that sandwich in here.” - (barista)

[END transcript]

Source: youtube.com
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“Your Black Friend" animated short film by Ben Passmore, Alex Krokus & Krystal Downs

truly accurate.

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koios

(Feel free to make copies and edit, I’m not 100% sure how to write transcripts but did my best.)

Transcript under cut. It’s long, but included here for easier mobile access.

Source: youtube.com
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freeform
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kaizykat

Video transcription:

Caption: Questions To Stop Asking Bisexual People

Person A: Do you like women or men better?

Person B: Yes.

A: But how do you know that you’re bisexual?

B: The same way that you know you’re straight. You just do.

A: But, like, how do you really know?

B: Oh… You wanna see my internet search history.

A: Half gay, half straight?

B: I think I’m all bi?

A: Half straight, half gay?

B: I think I’m also like 1/64th Irish…

A: Have you slept with both men and women?

B: Yes…? But also, if I hadn’t, I’d still be bi.

A: This is an experimental phase!

B: Yes. An experimental phase in the sense that like, science is sexy.

A: You have twice as many people to sleep with!

B: And none of them are asking me stupid questions.

A: You’re just greedy?

B: Yeah! Mm!

A: Are you just afraid to come out as gay?

B: No… I’m actually more scared to come out as bi. Because a lot of bi erasure happens in queer communities.

Did you know that a lot of people we think were gay were actually bi? Freddie Mercury: he was bi. He wasn’t gay.

A: Do you have a lot of threesomes?

B: Why… Why are you asking this?

A: Do you wanna have a threesome?

B: With you? No.

A: Obviously, you’re into open relationships.

B: No. And you’re obviously into being incredibly invasive.

A: But how can you be monogamous?

B: Me? Or bi people?

A: Have you ever cheated on your partner with a person who’s the opposite sex?

B: I think the question here is “Have you ever cheated?” And that’s a completely different question.

A: Is it easier than being gay?

B: There’s not a competition!

A: At least you can pass for straight, though.

B: That’s not a complement…

A: Are you ever gonna pick a side? Make up your mind?

B: Yes. I have made up my mind that this is not a good use of my time.

A: How are you *still* bisexual?

B: I graduated. And afterwards you can apply and you just have to clock in. You just put in your hours and they review. And then you go up to the board every year for a certification.

I’m kidding.

‘Cause I am. That’s just how it is.

A: Bisexuals don’t exist. You’re just confused.

B: You’re right. I am a figment of your imagination. And… I’m gone.

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catchymemes

[Video description: Black man in yellow shirt and green beanie. Caption reads, "This instrument brings all the vibes." He says,

"Ghana! Exactly. West Africa. OK, this instrument is called kosh kash. West Africa instrument. And I'm gonna show you how to play. Very easy. OK, open your palm and you have it like this." Instrument is two light colored balls connected by thick dark string. He has one palm facing up with one of the balls in it. And the string goes between his his pointer and middle fingers. The other ball hangs down at its end.

"Then you turn." He turns his hand ninety degrees. "Don't forget here, OK?" He presses the thumb so it part of the line of fingers. "So you have one. Two." He swings it so the dark string goes behind his palm and lands the free hanging ball on top of the one held. Then he swings it again and the free ball lands on the bottom of the one held. And then he holds both of them in that position. "Shake, shake." He shakes them and they give a sound like maracas.

"One, two. Shake, shake. One, two. Shake, shake. So, come back to the left. The same position, OK? Don't forget here." He shows the same position with the thumb on the left hand. "Then you have one, two! Shake, shake. One, two. Shake, shake. And then you go one, two! Shake, shake!" He has started showing it with both arms at the same time. When the two balls hit each other it's like a drum.

"One, two! Shake, shake! Shake, shake! Shake, shake! Shake, shake!" He has created a rhythm. He shakes them constantly. Even when one is being swung, the other continues to shake. Here he starts to sing but I no longer understand him. Probably a different language.

/End video description.]

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catchymemes
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zwoelffarben

This instrument so sophistocated in design it sounds like two instruments.

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helloelicia

I just looked up this instrument and HOLY HELL it’s great.

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faeinthewae

i may just be imagining this but it also looks like the way this instrument wraps around a different number of fingers on the up/down swings DIRECTLY INFLUENCES THE SYNCOPATION OF THE RHYTHYM!! that’s so cool!!

[Video description: Black man in yellow shirt and green beanie. Caption reads, "This instrument brings all the vibes." He says,

"Ghana! Exactly. West Africa. OK, this instrument is called kosh kash. West Africa instrument. And I'm gonna show you how to play. Very easy. OK, open your palm and you have it like this." Instrument is two light colored balls connected by thick dark string. He has one palm facing up with one of the balls in it. And the string goes between his his pointer and middle fingers. The other ball hangs down at its end.

"Then you turn." He turns his hand ninety degrees. "Don't forget here, OK?" He presses the thumb so it part of the line of fingers. "So you have one. Two." He swings it so the dark string goes behind his palm and lands the free hanging ball on top of the one held. Then he swings it again and the free ball lands on the bottom of the one held. And then he holds both of them in that position. "Shake, shake." He shakes them and they give a sound like maracas.

"One, two. Shake, shake. One, two. Shake, shake. So, come back to the left. The same position, OK? Don't forget here." He shows the same position with the thumb on the left hand. "Then you have one, two! Shake, shake. One, two. Shake, shake. And then you go one, two! Shake, shake!" He has started showing it with both arms at the same time. When the two balls hit each other it's like a drum.

"One, two! Shake, shake! Shake, shake! Shake, shake! Shake, shake!" He's created a rhythm. He shakes them constantly. Even when one is being swung, the other continues to shake. Here he starts to sing but I no longer understand him. Probably a different language.

/End video description.]

[The attached youtube video shows another Black man, performing with the same instrument, on a beach. At least in the beginning he's making a cover of In Da Club by 50 Cent. /End description.]

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@calleysunshine

[video description: a short clip of a young, thin, Black woman with shoulder length natural hair sitting on a stool in a sunny, airy room before an large and intricately carved harp, as she plays a cover of alicia keys’ “if i aint got you”. she wears a bright yellow tank top tucked into high-waisted blue jean shorts and sandals with a red scarf tying her cloud of hair away from her face. in the room around the woman are several potted plants, including a large potted tree on the left, a smaller leafy plant on the floor in front of the fireplace on the right, and a pair of little trailing plants on the mantle. a simple ocean landscape painting hangs on the left wall, and a tall window with sunlight streaming through its gauzy covering is in the background. /end video description.]

[Image description: an addition by @mywingsareonwheels

"Madison Calley. <3 She’s wonderful.

Here is her Youtube channel! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCIqxZOzJi_Mxhc0JAAuIDAQ ". /end image description.]

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“My harp session turned into a Disney movie”

[video ID : a person wearing a green t-shirt and a blue overalls skirt playing “Hello Darkness My Old Friend” on a black harp in a clearing. A deer slowly approaches them, until it bounces away and the person is startled. end ID.]

[video ID minor correction: the song is “The Sound of Silence” by Simon & Garfunkel.]

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balkan style orchestra 

absolutely thrilled to have found this video again, a classic

[ID: Someone sitting in a stalling tractor, as two people join in with a violin and guitar, the tractor becoming a percussive element.]

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[Video Description: The video shows an old-fashioned letterpress machine. A person operates it off-screen. They put 5 dabs of red ink on a round metal slab. They start to pump the handle which causes 2 rollers to go back and forth across the metal slab, smearing the ink around until the slab is entirely covered in a thin layer of red ink. The video cuts to a shot of them gathering and assembling letter stamps into a metal slot they are holding. The video cuts back to the letterpress machine. The person puts the letters into the machine and pumps the handle to coat the letters in red ink. They put a piece of paper into the bottom part of the letterpress and stamp it once. They hold the paper up to the camera. It says, "We've been trying to reach you about your car's extended warranty." There is a stamp of an old-fashioned car, and underneath in smaller type it says, "Printed at the Sacramento History Museum." /End ID]

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armengoldira

When a bartender becomes a father

Even teaching the baby how to pour something! Inviting them to learn and feel comfortable with new skills and be a part of the whole process! :)

[Image 1: tags via @iwrotesomeofitdown that read, "people peopling. This is really funny and at the same time great parenting, engaging your baby in every day activities."

Image 2: tags via @johannestevans "I love this for baby. I love how it encourages the baby's hand eye coordination by encouraging baby to follow dad's movements. Both the physical movements like throwing and swinging objects. And also telegraphed movements of what he's going to do next. Or gesturing to objects he's going to use next. Showing baby what he's going to use next so that baby feels involved in the process and not just an observer. Including nodding and gouging baby's enthusiasm. Like having the baby “taste” each “ingredient” which the baby keeps doing! Baby's multitasking and drinking their drink whilst also watching and remaining engaged! And I just think it's good and healthy as well like. Baby is involved with the making of their formula and it's a very early on thing of like. Where does my food and nourishment come from? How is it prepared? And that's a good habit for life."

Video: a dad does some trick bartending, preparing their baby's formula. The baby watches and at one point pours something small. Worth noting that there's a stuffed bear bigger than the baby on the next stool and it has been served a bottle of whiskey. Audio is bass boosted Booty Swing by Parov Stelar. /End description.]

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Ohhh my God, the current VA for Foghorn Leghorn actually dubbed it.

[Video: a still image. Drawing of the animated rooster Fog horn Leg horn, patting a beat up face down Vegeta from Dragon ball Z on the hand. Above the drawing is text in all capital letters, "Boy, I say boy, your final flash ain't nothin more than a flash in the pan boy, ya missed it, flew right over me. Ya couldn't hit the broad side of a barn with a blast like that boy. No wonder you're called a Saiyan, all talk and nothing else, now pay attention when I'm talking to ya".

The audio is the text voice acted by the current voice of Fog horn Leg horn. /End description.]

Source: twitter.com
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For the curious, this chap is processing flax, then spinning it into cordage, then twisting those cords into rope.

Spinning it finer, and you get flax thread, to turn into linen cloth.

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petermorwood

I grew up in Northern Ireland, school lessons never missed a chance to mention Irish linen, my Dad was Head of Accounts at what was once the largest linen-thread mill In The World and I even worked there myself over a couple of summers.

Linen is impressive stuff, can be woven tight enough to hold water or fine enough to be almost transparent, the thread was once used for bowstrings, and is still preferred over synthetics in high-end shoemaking.

The fibre-making procedure in the video is also done with hemp and nettles. I’ve got a few hemp shirts, well-worn-in and comfy, and @dduane​ has a vintage smock made of nettle fabric.

It isn’t as soft as Egyptian cotton and wasn’t expected to be; however it’s certainly not as harsh as a hessian (jute, burlap) sack, and of course doesn’t sting. After what’s done to nettles to turn them into fabric, stinging is a long way in the past.

The process of turning tough - and in the case of nettles, actively unpleasant - plants into hard-wearing* cloth is fascinating, and has always made me wonder who, millennia ago, discovered it could be done.

* Hard-wearing? Oh yes. We inherited quite a bit of Irish linen from my Mum; the washing instructions on one beautiful damask tablecloth…

…were “rub soiled areas firmly with laundry soap then boil until clean”… Boil literally, in a pot on the stove. Hemp and nettle garments would be treated the same way.

Looking at this (probably while tingling and scratching)…

…might prompt vengeful thoughts of this (here’s our recipe on European Cuisines)…

…but how it ever prompted thoughts of this…

…is a fascinating question

[Video: tik tok by @zuley385 showing a part of an educational video by Eugenio Monesma, where a man makes rope. The footage is sped up and the audio is a soft piano instrumental.

Image 1: a nineteenth century postcard of a bunch of buildings. Text around them reads, "Barbour's Hilden Mills, Hilden, Lisburn, North Ireland".

Image 2: beautiful white damask tablecloth.

Image 3: leaves of a nettle plant.

Image 4: a tea cup with floral patterns on it, and a matching sauser. Inside is some kind of green liquid.

Image 5: a roll of green fabric.

/End description.]

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For the curious, this chap is processing flax, then spinning it into cordage, then twisting those cords into rope.

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anew-jackson

when you’re at the end of your rope but must carry on regardless

This is from Eugenio Monesma, a man who has dedicated his life to making documentaries about all the living traditions and craftsmen that still live in Spain, is not the first time I’ve seen his stuff uncredited on Tik Tok, which is a shame because he has over 20 years worth of videos of his work for free on his channel.

Even if you don’t understand Spanish do give it a look please, very interesting stuff, you’re sure to find something interesting across his 1000+ videos.

Luckyly this video comes with subtitles so please enjoy seeing the process more in depth

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jeanjauthor

“What good is this knowledge? It’s the 21st century! We don’t need this stuff!!”

Dude. Dude. My Dude…

There are things we still need to do by hand! You can still literally send far more information far faster by putting a harddrive in a box and mailing that box than you can by trying to transmit it at the highest broadband speed money can buy.

There are people who have gone back to the old ways, re-engineered them, and came up with better materials than the previous modern version.

We are still learning the secrets of ancient Roman concrete, which is thousands-of-years-provably to be vastly superior to modern concrete.

You never know what good, solid knowledge you will regain by re-studying the Old Ways.

Let me tell you about making sure you keep your winter mittens in the snow.

There are people who run a cord from one mitten cuff to the other, up through one jacket sleeve and out the other. But what happens when you do that? First of all, those mittens are right there, dangling against your hands as you’re trying to work. They’re also dangling cuff-up, which means they are going to fill with snow. Either because the snow is falling, or they’re getting dragged along the ground by their lanyard tether.

Inuit folks did it differently. They created a lanyard strap that starts in the armpit of their parkas (winter pullover coat). This means that when they remove their mitten to do something with their fingers, the mitten hangs at their side, not bumping into that hand, not interfering with their work.

And then they attached the other end of the lanyard to the yoke of the thumb, that webby-like span between the thumb and the side of the palm. Because the mitten cuffs are so long compared to the finger pocket area, when the mitten dangles, it dangles cuff-down. It doesn’t drag cuff-opening-first through the snow. It doesn’t let falling snow (whether falling from the clouds or falling off a disturbed tree branch) fall into the mitten, because the mitten opening is pointed the wrong way.

It’s absolute genius…and it’s a technological innovation that is thousands of years old.

Study these old ways with an open mind!

There are a bunch of plant fibers that aren’t even used anymore, like Kudzu (Pueraria montana) and Dogbane (Apocyonum cannabinum)

They could be much more environmentally friendly to grow than cotton in regions where they grow well

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